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Episode 185: Equitable Partnership: How to Lovingly Share the Load

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On Mother’s Day my husband Mike saw several posts from guys about their wives/partners which said something to the effect of:

“I don’t know how she does it all.”

While the posts were meant to be in appreciation of these women and the way they show up for their families, something about them didn’t sit well with Mike.

As we talked it through and he noodled on it over the next day or so, Mike came back with a pretty revolutionary perspective on why celebrating women for doing so much is so unintentionally harmful.

And we started off this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show, which is all about equity in partnerships, with his insight.

If you’ve ever felt like:

  • You’re holding far more than your fair share of the household and childcare responsibilities
  • You don’t know how to get your partner on board with a more equitable split of sharing the load
  • The emotional labor of “holding” everything goes unnoticed and you’re sick of it
  • You’re the partner who’s not holding as much and you feel guilty about it
  • You really want to create an equitable partnership but you don’t know how and you don’t have any role models for what that might look like in 2020

…this episode is for YOU!

We’ve had lots of requests for an episode where we share the behind-the-scenes of how we share the load of work and home in our marriage, plus our suggestions for building equity in your own relationship, so that’s what we have for you this week!

Equitable Partnership: How to Lovingly Share the Load

In This Episode

  • An insight that Mike had after Mother’s Day, and our motivation for recording this episode [7:27]
  • Why Mike feels he contributes the way that he does [22:00]
  • What changed for him during the time when he was sick [26:19]
  • Something that makes our relationships so beautiful [36:30]
  • What Mike is most passionate about, along with the downside to this mindset [41:14]
  • Keys to having a more equitable relationship [47:35]
  • An incredible area of growth for Kate right now [49:00]
  • How to gain clarity and start asking for what you want [50:54]
  • The ways that men’s egos are being challenged more than ever before [53:10]
  • Why now is such a great time to be re-evaluating how you do things at home [58:05]

Selected Links from the Episode

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Get On Kate’s Mailing List(and get the Weekly Planning Ritual Guide)

Her First Book, Money: A Love Story & The Money Love Course Enrollment For Origin ® Lunya Sleepwear Episode 183: How to Ask For What You Want This Mother’s Day (or Anytime)

Dr. Zach Bush on  Rich Roll’s Podcast, Danica Patrick’s Podcast & The Highwire with Del Bigtree

His Documentary, Regeneration

The Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman

The Last Dance on Netflix

Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Dr. Valerie Rein

The Joe Rogan Experience

Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu

Maine Boys to Men

Connect with Kate & Mike on Instagram!

People Mentioned

Dr. Christiane Northrup Sinclair Kennally Andrew Yang David Goggins Kobe Bryant

Podcast Details

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