Episode 183: How to Ask For What You Want This Mother’s Day (or Anytime)

written by Kate Northrup

The longest chapter I wrote in the first draft of Do Less was the chapter on Asking for Help. It was originally 25,000 words (one third of the contracted total word count) and it ended up becoming both the Receiving Help and Asking for Help chapters.

But there’s something super important that I left out of the chapter…because I was today years old when I realized it.

Yes, many of us struggle with asking for help because we think we should be able to handle everything ourselves.

We struggle because we think we’re the only ones who can do it right.

We struggle because we think it’s easier to do it ourselves than show someone else how to do it.

We struggle because we feel like we’re inconveniencing others when we ask.

But there’s another MAJOR reason that emerged as Mike and I were recording this week’s episode of The Kate & Mike Show, and it’s critical for us all to realize.

This week’s episode about How to Ask for What You Want on Mother’s Day (or Anytime) reveals the critical block preventing so many women from getting what they want.

I’ve been studying and thinking about this topic A LOT, and I didn’t even really get it until we recorded this conversation, so I have a feeling it’s going to be new for a lot of our listeners as well.

Knowing what the block is may be all you need in order for it to be evaporated. Awareness is always the first step, and sometimes it’s the only step necessary!

Listen in to this week’s episode to learn:

The critical block preventing so many women from getting what they want
The 3 simple steps to asking for what you want (and how to make it more likely you’ll get it)
A low-hanging-fruit method for getting more of your needs met immediately without asking anyone for anything
The difference between your needs and your desires and why both are necessary

Regardless of your parental status, let this conversation be the starting point for a whole new relationship with what you want.

And, if you’re a mother and you live in the USA, let this week leading up to Mother’s Day be your playground to practice a whole new way of being a woman and a mother that makes space for more of you, perhaps ALL of you.

How to Ask For What You Want This Mother’s Day (or Anytime)

In This Episode

The message Kate received that inspired this episode [3:40]
How a true 50/50 partnership at all times does not exist [9:20]
The ways in which we’ve lagged as a society when it comes to the home duties of men and women [13:00]
Why Mother’s Day can be a disappointing holiday for some people [15:29]
The difference between asking for help and asking for what you really want [17:00]
What Kate wants this Mother’s Day [17:58]
Why you don’t need to be actively parenting to deserve care, attention and a celebration [27:50]
The 3 steps to asking for help – the right way [29:00]
Mike’s perspective on men asking for help [35:45]
What you are really doing when you refuse to accept help from others [51:28]