The Secret To Having It All

Did you know that only 39% of the planet has access to the Internet?

If you’re reading this (which I know you are) you are part of the blessed minority who can literally access any information they want, any time, any place.

And you know what unlimited access and possibilities can lead to? Feeling overwhelmed, dissatisfied, and lost.

You probably thought I was going to say that endless possibilities lead to bliss. While they absolutely can, I find that the opposite is true more often.

So how do we pursue having it all in a way that doesn’t make us crazy?

How do we find true satisfaction while swimming in “anything is possible?”

Today we’re departing slightly from the typical dollars and cents on Financial Freedom Friday. Instead, we’re diving into happiness territory, a topic quite intertwined with the money conversation.

Trust me, what I’ve got for you in today’s episode will be just what the doctor ordered for your money, as well as you peace of mind.

Watch the episode below to find out the secret to having it all that no one has ever told you.

Clarifying what you really want and cutting out the static of what you should have creates true freedom. (Tweet it!)

Watch a related episode of Financial Freedom Friday where I give you 4 simple steps to identifying your values. Click HERE.

Over to you:

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by the promise of “having it all”? If so, leave a comment below and tell me one simple action step you could take to stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling good.


  • Kate,
    I love this advice! I’m going to start listing my happy moments. 1:) Happy moment – Watching your video today!

  • This video changed my whole outlook!! I am the exact person you described–straight A++ grades, great schools, grad degree, son, etc. And checking the boxes didn’t make me happy. What makes me happy is kid’s book art and now I am going after that as a career full time!! Thank you for this awesome video!

  • This is such a great message! It’s true – we don’t really want it all, we just want what lights us up! It’s very different for everyone. It’s time to let go of what I think I “should” want (the fancy house, the big tv and all that jazz) Instead, I’m going to focus on what I really want – time with my family and friends, having fun with them in sunny places and just the free time to curl up with a good book and a warm cup of coffee. I’ll be digging deeper into what I really want and how I will get it. Thanks for this Kate! (Digging deeper into your book this weekend!)

  • Deborah Chalk

    Hi Kate,
    I love getting Financial Freedom Friday in my inbox. I have a little notebook to record spending and how I feel about that spending, so at the the back of the book I’m going to make notes about high points and then do some detective work. Thank you for the continuing financial education. I want to further my financial education and love reading. Other than your own book (which I am enjoying working through), which finance books do you love? Off to check my bank balances now which I am trying to do daily (thanks for the tip)

  • Maria

    Great message, Kate! Have to say, though, I miss the out takes (haha)

  • I like this. We don’t NEED to have it all! How refreshing! Thank you Kate :)

  • Wow! Kinda felt the urge to comment simply because there’s no comments yet on this FFF video! ;p
    You’re right Kate, no one’s ever told me to go for what I want instead of going for “it all”, it’s something I’ve kind of stumbled into from never wanting it all and failing to make many of the benchmarks on the road to having it all. :) I am so grateful I did though, as it’s provided a modicum of freedom that HaveItAllers often miss out on. THANK YOU FOR THIS POST! So many more people need to see this!

  • Brilliant map of discovery, thank you – this is going to be fun.

  • Maria

    Wonderful insight Kate, I dont,t think it is a coincidence that in this precise week so many people told me that I should go to law school an d persue success, while I, being a designer really find pleasure in creating, even though it has been a rough ride financially

  • This message came right on time!!! Now is the time to find out what I want. I truly believe that I’m close & am going to write down the steps from this exercise & from the Values video to get me started. Thanks so much Kate.

  • I love this message! I don’t necessarily want it all. I associate wanting it all with wanting a lot of money. What I really want is my hubby to not be tied to his office, but in order for that to happen I need to make more money. This aspect usually trips me up, but now I’m seeing that what I really want is the feeling I get when I help one of my clients. I’ll keep doing the small tasks I know work in order to help more people and the rest will follow.

  • Im The girl that applied for your mentor program that pick to pay down some med bills before I start Love this video
    so perfect
    Thank you!

  • Kevin

    Ok, Im a man (an English one, guess what, it applies to men too. I loved your book and it resonated strongly with my approach to money. I know it works. I find myself thinking and stressing over what next? I found it helpfull focussing on the physical side too, cycling & Gym…however it is not enough. Im finding it incredibly hard to identify what I really want… Ive looked at values, peak experiences. Does this mean Im content? Just stuck. I find myself frustrated for not finding something motivating. I loved your style, your video, the content and the energy you put in. Fabulous, encourages me to persist.

    • Kate

      Kevin! Thanks for joining in the discussion and bringing up that this applies to men too. Sometimes are true dreams and desires are just kind of buried so keep asking yourself what you want. Just practice doing things that feel good every day and soon what’s really important to you will become clear.

  • Great video Kate! Thanks for the tips, always appreciated!

  • Gwen

    Wow! I’m so happy that I clicked on the video! My friend Deb Kern mentioned you and I thought I would check it out. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. thank you so much for the advice!

  • So far I have bought two of your wonderful books and shared on Kindle with my daughters and grand kids. After reading the book I so appreciate these films to remind me of what I need to learn and remember. I am so excited while reading that I don’t always remember.
    I realize I do have a good attitude about money, but tend to outspend my social security and retirement every month. Now I am investigating Why and what is truly worth my spending a bit more than comes in.
    At eighty I know that the universe provides when I surrender and really am in the zone, and don’t being a financial avoider. Great name for that sort of thing. Keep the info coming. I love it. Ginger

  • Really loved this one, Kate!

    I’ve been reading Christine Hassler’s book “20 Something, 20 Everything” as I’ve suffered from this desire to “have it all”, and hear clients telling me the same thing. But you’re right, even if you can check off all the pretty boxes, you may end up feeling more empty than fulfilled.

    I love this exercise on how to figure out what you really want! What I want really has nothing to do with having it all. It has more to do with dropping all those things I think I “should” want.


  • I started listening to Abraham-Hicks a month ago and am now an avid fan. I’ve been living with chronic depression for over 20 years and have seen more progress in my healing journey this month than with all the other healing modalities and counseling combined! As Abe say, “Our only job is to be happy!”

  • I love this article, it really made me think. Thanks Kate.

  • April

    O ;) awesome video, thank you,

  • Nancy

    An additional point is that having it all or having what we want changes with age. The possibilities change as we age and the desires change as we age. At 65, I had it all already, the husband, the kid, the house, the career, the recognition, traveling all over the world, but now what? I still have a lifetime (albeit shorter) ahead, but the options in your seniority are not the same as in your 20-40s. Thankfully, your process/technique presented here still works at any age, even though your perspective may be very different.

  • You’re awesome, Kate!

    Thank you for being a force for good in this world.

    I totally agree with your loving wisdom…I’ve been embracing this truth for years.

    When I was a young(er) woman, around 20 years old, I received the gift of attending an event with my sweet mama, and at dinner I was seated next to a wise elder.

    This man, an 88 year old widower, kindly shared with me one of the most brilliant gems I’ve heard in my life. He recalled how he’d always remind his wife of this during their years together.

    The tenderness in his eyes, the kindness in his voice, the clarity of his words have remained in my heart…

    “You can have ANYTHING you want in this world…you just can’t have EVERYTHING.”

    So true.

    With appreciation for all you are,


    p.s. You look adorable next to Danielle in her recent “Favourite Feeling of the Week” post. I appreciate witnessing the beauty of your friendship. :)

  • jerri

    Hello! apologies, I know this is off topic, but I haven’t found where I should go to address my question.. I just purchased your book Money, A Love Affair.. through a promo link that offered a Hayhouse 2 hour, online event.. I purchased through Amazon (order #111-6627494-1936233) plugged the order # into the site here as instructed & was informed the offer had expired.. I would have bought the book anyway!! But this seemed like such an awesome event.. was it recorded? Can it still be found anywhere on line?
    Thanks so much!

  • Love it, as always. Reminds me of Danielle L’s work and focusing on how you want to feel rather than the end result (which can be so much better than anything we can imagine).

    If we try to carry ALL the bananas at once (just an example), we’ll end up dropping all of them in the process. Doesn’t mean we can’t still be choosy about the bananas we end up with – we just can’t have all of them at once.

  • Kate, I LOVED this one this week. Also wanted to tell you about the extra $1500 I created in my budget this month thanks to all of your advice and guidance. It came from a variety of sources – my network marketing business, careful spending choices, gifts, etc. Thank you for the wisdom you are putting into the world by sharing your story and experience. What you are doing really matters and is making a huge difference in my life – and I’m sure the lives of many others.

  • Daria

    Kate, you are just fabulous with all that you are doing out there! Thank you!

  • Juliet Kapsis

    Thank you, Kate! This is a great post & limitlessly valuable for my current situation. I started to put down when I felt my best today while I was listening to your words & will continue to do so. Thank you for sharing the clarity ~ I am feeling empowered.

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