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My “Stop-doing” List (thanks Marie + Danielle)

I’m super jazzed to be attending an event lead by two of my favorite women of all time (who I brag I had a little bit to do with connecting), Marie Forleo and Danielle LaPorte.

Come hang with me in NYC.

It’s called Selling Your Soul and it’s on May 12th in downtown New York City and it’s all about doing business from a place of being your no apologies, freak-flag-flying, most authentic self. These women have huge ovaries and are inspiring beyond belief. I’m so excited I can barely stand it.

One of my most favorite urgings that I’ve heard from Danielle before is to create a “stop-doing” list. I’ve avoided this exercise because I’m afraid to put things in writing that I know that I shouldn’t do anymore. There are certain things on the list below that for whatever reason I hold onto with a death grip even though I know they’re not a good use of my time or energy and no longer serve me.

The super-nova shivers.

Perhaps not wanting to put this out there is a fear of really being BIG. Like if I truly stop doing the things below that are thwarting me at every turn, I’ll super-nova to a level of success and joy that I won’t even know how to handle. Well, hell. I’ve never let fear hold me back for very long before, so I’m putting it out here now!

So, without further ado, here’s my “stop-doing” list. Read it. Let it inspire you. Then share yours below (or link to your blog on the comments below) and lets start a “stop-doing” revolution!

My “Stop-Doing” List

1.    Detail oriented tasks. I’m a big picture person and I don’t think in details.

2.     Feeling bad about sleeping until I’m ready to get out of bed.

3.    Not telling the truth. There’s a difference between lying and not telling the truth. I’m a terrible liar but I’m a genius at not telling the truth. This is a tendency I’ve been unraveling over the past year and it definitely belongs on the “stop-doing” list.

4.    Saying “yes” to things simply because I want people to like me or because I feel bad.

5.     Scheduling myself within an inch of my life so that I don’t even realize that an entire day has passed and I wake up in the morning feeling like I’m in the movie Groundhog Day.

6.    Feeling guilty about doing things that are pure pleasure and that I am doing simply for fun and not because they bring in revenue or get me closer to a big goal.

7.    Finding myself wrong. Period.

8.     Embarking on business ventures, partnerships, or affiliate agreements with anyone or anything that doesn’t feel like a “Hell yes!” when the opportunity comes across my plate.

9.    Disapproving of other people in my life when I’m really projecting on them something I need to look at more closely in my own life.

10.     Prioritizing my work before exercise and healthy food.

11.    Beating myself up for not replying to every single email that comes into my inbox personally (or at all).

12.    Comparing myself to anyone else in my life or in my industry and thinking that because I’m not them and what I’m doing doesn’t look like what they’re doing that I’m doing it wrong.

13.    Living my life according to what “looks good”, what I think I’m supposed to be doing, or what I think my mother, father, or anyone else thinks I should be doing.

Aaaah, that felt cathartic. I can’t WAIT to read your “stop-doing” list because I’m sure it will inspire me to stop doing more things that will open up space for more fun, pleasure, love, money, and goodness than I ever imagined possible.

Find out about Selling Your Soul by clicking below:

If you want more Marie for free, here’s a fabulous video about how women she works with make it BIG online in all different industries. If you are a woman and have a business, this is a MUST watch.


  • I commit to stop doing this bullpucky:
    griping about being disappointed & move into, Okay, how ARE we going to get this done?
    hemming and hawing over business investments that are the obvious and most elegant solutions.
    “settling” for half-assed humans (collaborators, friends, family).
    dividing my energy between what rocks my spirit and what makes me groan.
    BAM! Thanks, Kate.

  • Daniele

    hmm…yeah…waiting for the right people to show up. (no, in my case, it’s about doing the personals, for one thing, and going to events, even if it means going alone, for the time being…and creating my own events!)
    having the above (not having the right people in my life) stop me from doing things around the house that need getting done…
    and settling for work that’s not using my best talents. (i know the jobs are out there, and i’m going to find them).

  • 1.Blaming myself for other peoples dysfunction. Most of them were fucked up before I met them.
    2. Blaming other people for my dysfunction, I was this way before I met most of them.
    3.Being devastated if someone doesn’t love me back.
    4. Thinking of myself in terms of the number of years I’be been alive. Too much pressure. I think I’ve been here before and I think I’ll be here again.
    5.Not making my life a priority!!!

  • My stop doing list:

    1. Stop answering my phone every time it rings and someone wants to “chat”. I have a business to run, dammit!

    2. Stop living my life according to how others think it should look. Me and my big ovaries said “suck it” to the 9-5 and decided to do what truly makes us happy.

    3. Stop wasting time staring at the computer and forcing myself to create. I have to learn to step away and allow those creative juices to start flowing again.

    4. Stop obsessing about the future and trying to plan EVERYTHING. It’s time to start living for now and let life play out exactly as it’s supposed to. “I’m back…”

  • fhew. i feel lighter just reading this. xox

  • kelsea

    this was fantastic! love it!! thank you I so resonated with this

  • Ooh I love this list Kate! I am definitely on board with some of these for myself. One of them is the replying to emails (for me it’s not necessarily personally, but on time or quickly.) Also, sleeping when I need to. Another big one.

    I think I’ve also been avoiding this exercise, so it’s high time for me to hop to it right? ;)

  • Fantastic post & list! I had never i.d.’d the replying to emails personally but when I read your list I felt a …hmm…what was that…resonance?? I have the most amazing assistant who is beyond fantastic with keeping my schedule in alignment with what we agreed on (not booked insanely solid), delivering pertinent info to my clients, booking meetings, organizing things etc. but I realized in reading your list I still feel kinda bad when I don’t reply to people in person….in reading your list I 2nd this one & am taking it off my to do list and & I’m taking it off the ‘I should do” list as well! – Yay! this is why I love things like SYSoul – thank you!!!!

  • Thanks so much for this post and list. These are all so true! I am especially committed to #4 and #10 (but to all of them, really). What a great reminder to be true to yourself..

  • When my kids say, “you are like that mom in the cartoon who works all time” I will stop thinking I should feel guilty, and start loving that what they see as work is pure love, and just try to stop me.

  • kate-
    loved your list
    loved your balls to the wall honesty about honesty ;)
    looking forward to seeing more of your kind of inspiration
    and writing my own full out STOP DOING list!

    Will be at SYS on the 12th as well
    Can’t wait!

  • Great idea! For starters . . .

    Stop procrastinating.
    Stop making excuses.
    Stop being afraid.
    Stop listening to opinions that don’t matter.

    Stop obsessing over laundry.

    See you in NYC for SYS!

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