Her no brought an instant smile to my face.
It was clear. It was kind. It was quick.
I really wanted her to participate in my event. I was obsessed with her book and felt her wisdom would be an incredible addition.
But when I received her email response declining my invitation, what I realized is that way more than I want people to say yes to my requests, I only want people in my life who tell the truth about what works for them and what doesn’t.
This author and business owner I admire’s response included the following:
Were all of these elements necessary for her to share with me?
Nope. I’m sure you’ve heard it before: No is a complete sentence.
But what I noticed is that receiving this email infused with kindness and incredibly clear boundaries made me respect this woman even more than I already did (which was a lot to begin with!)
Because she was so clearly walking the walk when it came to prioritizing what mattered to her and her business.
She wasn’t getting distracted by anything else, no matter how appealing it may have sounded or how much of an inclination she may have had to please me. (I have no idea if she had that inclination, I just know it’s something that I’m getting better at not heeding in myself.)
I loved knowing what she was focused on instead so I could champion that (literally or energetically).
I also felt her genuine support when she said she wished me the best of luck with my event. I could tell she meant it.
Now when I see this woman doing speaking gigs, events, or anything else, I know she’s all in. I know how valuable what she’s up to is because I know how highly she values her time.
As a result, her brand reputation has increased in my eyes. And, I’m way more likely to participate in what she’s offering and buy whatever she’s selling because I know it has her full support, full attention, and full devotion. So I know it’s going to be good.
If you grew up believing that your value lies in pleasing other people (which many of us did), it may require some mental gymnastics to get it that the more you prioritize what’s best for you, the more you’ll be respected.
Will your “no” piss some people off? Absolutely. But those are not the people you want taking up the majority of the space in your life.
If you want to up your brand reputation, increase your sales, and become magnetic to opportunities, you have to learn how to say no.
I understand that saying no may feel like it will cause you to miss out on opportunities or sales, but I promise you, the more you do it, the more you’ll realize that your no is magnetic to the things that are meant for you.
Need practice, support, and even scripts to get better at saying no? Join The No Challenge where for 8 days you’ll say no to one thing a day. Say yes to saying no.
Now, I want to hear from you: When was a time someone said no to you and it increased your respect for them? What do you struggle with the most when it comes to saying no in your business? Tell me in the comments and let’s talk about it!
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