Episode 147: 7 Ways to Make Friends As An Adult (Plus the Surprising Reasons You Need to Prioritize Friendship)

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Want to know what the #1 indicator of a woman’s success in her career is?

A tight-knit group of female friends.

Yep. It’s true!

This is exciting but here’s the problem:

After the age of 25 our friendships start to suffer, and our social circles contract.

Why? Because our culture tells us to be focused on getting married and having kids and getting ahead in our careers!

So we ditch or stop prioritizing the very thing that would contribute to said success on a deep level:

Our friends!

When I recently asked you what you wanted to learn more about, tons of you came back and said you wanted to learn about how to make friends as an adult, and, more importantly, how to form and maintain super connected friendships. Like the ones that feel like the family you get to choose.

We’re giving you 7 things to keep in mind when it comes to forming close friendships that will contribute not only to your career success, but also to your immunity, mental health, and overall joy (which, for the record, is my highest priority these days. If it’s not bringing me joy or I can’t figure out how to do it joyfully, I’m not doing it!)

If you struggle with making friends, if you’ve had your heartbroken by a friendship ending, if you love your friends but find it hard to prioritize them, if you’re feeling lonely, if you don’t know where to find your people, or if you just want to know how to feel even more connected to the friends you already have, this episode is for you!

After you’ve listened, we’d love to hear which of the 7 tips we gave resonated with you the most and also if you have any other friendship-building stories or insights to share!

7 Ways to Make Friends As An Adult (Plus the Surprising Reasons You Need to Prioritize Friendship)

In This Episode

  • What happens to our social circles after the age of 25 [3:20]
  • The benefits of a strong circle of friends for women [4:40]
  • How we both make our friendships a priority [8:05]
  • What we mean by “be the glue” [13:35]
  • Why we should trust the energy and two examples of when Kate did this [21:23]
  • A very simple way to make friends [26:23]
  • What’s has stopped Mike in the past from forming more friendships [28:05]
  • How to know when it’s time to let go of a friendship [30:53]
  • Some amazing research findings on the effect of community on our health [39:45]
  • Ways that friendship can benefit your romantic relationships [44:38]

Selected Links from the Episode

Today’s Episode Is Sponsored by Amy Porterfield’s The Ultimate Course Creation Starter Kit!

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Half the Sky by Nicholas Kristof & Sheryl WuDunn

Birth Roots Maine Boys to Men

Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek

A Course In Miracles

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People Mentioned

Noah Levy Glennon Doyle Abby Wambach Nisha Moodley Marie Forleo Amber Dugger Becca Levy Jack Welch

Podcast Details

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  • Hi Kate & Mike,
    This topic was so on point for me because I look back over the last 18 years of my life since my first child was born and realize how few friendships I have kept while pouring all of myself into my relationship with my husband and my children (and a small part into my career). Now I have some ways to change this and reasons why, thank you! I’m also ‘baffled’ like Mike how you, Kate, can describe yourself as shy and having social anxiety and as an extrovert at the same time. I also suffer from these fears but have thought I was an introvert- now I wonder if I’d enjoy socializing and being visible and be able to live my bigger self if I addressed those fears! Maybe we all feel introverted and extroverted at different times and thinking of ourselves as introverts is just another label that limits us. Food for thought, thanks again 🙏

    • Kate Northrup

      I’m so glad this episode was eye-opening for you Janine and that it gives you some direction for working on friendship. Yes – I totally think we can be extroverted and introverted and everything in between. Given that someone else just “invented” these labels I think we can all fall on the spectrum at different times. Happy friend-making!

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