I texted a girlfriend (who’d already had two kids) my postpartum support plan and she wisely said, “Get more help than you think you’ll need.”

She was right. I thought I had lined up what I needed. But when I found myself upstairs needing frozen witch hazel “padsicles” from the freezer in the kitchen yet again, and the pain of walking down the stairs one more time was more than I could handle, not to mention the crying baby, I realized:

I needed more help than I thought I’d need.

I’m running out the door to get to swim class with the preschooler and the baby is in tow. If we don’t get in the car in the next 30 seconds we’ll be late. But then the baby has a blow out. And the preschooler needs a snack. And I don’t have her swimsuit bottoms. And I realized I’ve left the car keys and my phone in the house.

I needed more time than I thought I’d need.

I was 10 weeks postpartum and still feeling tired when I stood for too long or it was a busy day. Despite extensive reading about the postpartum period and building in lots of recovery time, I was under our culture’s spell that things should be “getting back to normal” by now, whatever that means. But they weren’t.

I needed more rest than I thought I’d need.

I felt waves of guilt about my experience during my first year as a mother and how I wasn’t able to show up and have it all together as I ridiculously had expected I would. There were moments I wished I could have gone back and redone. I could have been more present with my baby and kinder with my husband. I could have savored waaaay more. But I didn’t, and yet, I was still a good mom.

I needed more grace than I thought I’d need.

This is what I’ve found to be true:

When I give myself less, I end up needing more.

When I give myself more, I usually don’t need it all. 

(And if I do need it all, it’s there.)

This applies to snacks, time, napkins, diapers, forgiveness, grace, rest, and pretty much anything else I can think of.

I choose to take care of myself by giving myself more than I think I’ll need. Feel free to join me.

OVER TO YOU:

What do you find yourself needing more of than you thought you’d need? What can you give yourself more of today? Leave a comment and let me know!