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What to do when your friends make more money than you do.

If everyone’s lives were all the same the world would be pretty boring, right?

So then why is it that we constantly compare our lives to other peoples’ to see how we measure up?

When it comes to comparison, one of the trickiest areas is our finances.

It’s inevitable that you’ll make more money than some of your friends, and that some of your friends will make more than you.

But how does the discrepancy affect your friendship? When you find out that a friend of yours makes more than you, do you feel bad?

When it comes to matters of money, comparing ourselves isn’t a good idea. But, there are some ways that finding out your friend makes more than you can actually be a good thing.



In today’s episode of Financial Freedom Friday I’ll tell you how to not get sucked down the comparison rabbit hole of despair and instead, how to use income discrepancies in your social circle to help you.

Click below to watch the episode.

Comparison is the thief of joy. ~Teddy Roosevelt (Tweet it!)

Over to you:

Have you ever let comparing yourself to others steal your joy? How did you feel? Which one of the tips I shared in this video will you use next time – or do you have one of your own to share? Let me know about it in the comments below!

P.S. Did you miss my 2-hour online event, A Course in Having Enough, with Marianne Williamson, Barbara Stanny, and Amanda Steinberg last week? Don’t worry – it was recorded! CLICK HERE to register and get the mp3 recording so you can soak up all the #moneylove we shared.


  • Karen

    Kate, I love your Financial Freedom Fridays! They are very informative and I always come away with a great piece of wisdom that I try and incorporate in my life. Thanks:)

  • My self-worth is definitely not based on my net-worth: that’s a trap I don’t wanna fall into!
    What if one morning I wake up and the stock market is PMS again? I will not let the stock market (or my banker or my accountant for that matter) dictate my mood and my grounding. LOL

    My grounding (my true self-worth) is now so much stronger that as a result it’s affecting my net-worth. For the better :)

    PS: your book is in the mail! (clapping + cheers + can’t wait!)

  • As always, great video, Kate! I’ve definitely been in this position before, and it can feel really crummy to make less money than your friends. But this is a fantastic mentality shift! I’m going to send this video to a couple of my clients. Thanks!

  • Thanks for this video Kate! Informative as usual:) I think it’s time for me to start reaching out and finding people who have done what I want to do as far as building my business. I’ve heard the quote about your income being the average of the five people you spend the most time around, but I’ve haven’t made it a point to really explore being around successful business people. That’s next on my list!

    Thank you!

  • April

    Thankyou Kate, Happy Friday!O ; )

  • Ah the Comparison monster! A great reminder as I quit my corporate 20+yr career in 2013 to start my own biz and have lots of long time friends who are in the corporate world and earning way more than me now. And that is good to know that spending time with people who earn more than me right now is a GOOD thing!
    Loved the Happiness at it relates to income! Thanks Kate.

  • Thanks Kate for this reminder– I love how real you are about tender topics. I’m definitely interested in the five friend average idea around Income. Many of my friends are creatives or spiritual types (me too!) or are moms coming back into work world. Ill have to think more about how to really resource myself as a biz owner with friendships who stretch me. (B school certainly helped!) thanks again for fueling my inspiration fire. Courtney

  • Hi Kate,

    I’m curious…what kind of feedback do you have for potential romantic relationships, where this income discrepancy occurs?

    As in, I am considering getting more involved in a romanitc relationship where our incomes have a HUGE discrepancy and frankly it makes me SUPER nervous. It has brought up all kinds of feelings, including me allowing myself to question my worth. Are there potential conflicts of being in a relationship with a man that makes considerably more than me?? What are your thoughts??

    You are such a huge inspiration for me!

    • Kate

      Great question Debra. My feeling is this: being in a relationship with someone who earns way more money than you is the perfect opportunity to increase your self-value! Focus on all the ways you add value to the world and to the relationship that have nothing to do with earning. I would really get honest with yourself about what you’re nervous about and talk it out with your partner. More communication is always better, with yourself and others!

  • Kate – thank you! I really liked what you shared about increased happiness doesn’t come with an increase in income. I also like the reminder you gave not to compare yourself to others because they may have been at it longer, and you don’t know what it’s taken or what they’ve been through to get there. we’re too quick on the judgment sometimes, and that is the one thing that will help me the most when I catch myself starting to go down the “comparison path.”

  • I need to resubscribe!! Somehow I fell out of the loop and just revisited Financial Fridays….I will avoid missing another. From the onset of the perky music which I bounce along with, I know that the 5 minutes of Kate that follow will leave me inspired, relaxed and focus in a very doable way~Thank you KATE!

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