My sweet girl,
On the eve of your baby sister’s arrival there are some things I want you to know.
You are, and forever will be, my first baby. You made me a mama, and for that I will always be grateful. The way you came into this world was unexpected and while it was nothing like I’d planned, I can see now that it was exactly what you and I both needed to start our journey together this time around.
Before your sister comes I want to thank you for choosing your daddy and me to be your parents. You bring pure magic to our lives and to the lives of everyone who gets to spend time with you. To watch you discover the world is to watch a miracle. Thank you for reminding us daily what life is all about: wonder, fun, and love.
Thank you for teaching me how to slow down and do less, from the very moment you took up residence in my belly, to just this morning when I patiently waited for you to see what the dried paint felt like on your easel and attend to all of your toys and books on our way up the stairs to get you dressed for school.
Thank you for teaching me to let go and surrender. I am softer because of you. I am freer because of you. You’ve changed me in the very ways I needed to be changed (and I have no doubt you’ll continue to do so) and I’m so grateful.
I would be lying to you if I told you that I’m not nervous as I sit here with this growing belly and your baby sister giving me gentle kicks, reminding me all day every day that she’s coming. So soon.
I’m scared to give birth again. Even though I know I can do it because I did it before (and you’re the astounding proof!), I’m scared.
I’m scared that you’ll be upset when you see me and Daddy taking care of another child and that you’ll think we love you less or that there’s not enough space for you anymore.
I’m scared of dividing my energy and attention between two precious girls. I have no doubt that there’s enough love. Every mother I’ve ever known (including my own) has assured me that when another child comes along your heart simply grows. The capacity to love expands. My love for you is infinite. My love for your sister is infinite. Both make the other one bigger.
But I’m scared that there won’t be enough attention.
I’m scared that you won’t like your baby sister, though I know in the end you’ll love her. (My sister did not like me for the first several years of my life, but I know without a doubt that I’m one of the biggest gifts of her life and she of mine.)
And even though I’m scared, I’m also so excited.
Excited to see you be a big sister and tell your baby sister all about the things that you love.
Excited to see the two of you play together and grow up together.
Excited to sit hand in hand with your daddy and watch you two make your own brand of sisterly magic that no one else will ever fully understand, including us.
I want you to know this, little one:
There’s nothing in the world that could ever make me love you less. Not the birth of your sister. Not anything you have ever done or ever will do. Not a thing in the world.
I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love anything or anyone. While I may be extra tired and feel extra pulled over the next several months as we welcome your baby sister into our family, please remember:
You are special.
You are loved.
And you are going to be the best big sister this world has ever seen.
I love you forever and ever,