Hold out.


Hold out

…for the one you’ve been waiting for.

…for the guy who treats you like the gold that you are.

…for the idea that visits you in your dreams and you can’t wait to get cracking on every day.

…for the house that feels like it was built for you.

…for the friends who feel like sisters.

…for the solution that’s even better than anything you could have dreamed up.

You don’t have to settle. You are not only worthy of what you want, you can have it. {Tweet It!} You-don't-have-to-settle - tweet

Here’s the rub: you have to stop settling for crumbs in order to get the whole cake.

Letting the sub-par take up valuable real estate in your life edges out the good stuff that’s waiting for you.

You gotta let go of what’s not working in order to get what you want.

But there’s this uncomfortable pause between when you let go of what’s not working and when your highest good shows up.

And sometimes that uncomfortable pause is more like 10-15 years (or more) than a few days.

And yet still, hold out.

It’s not that you won’t live your life in the meantime. It’s not that time stands still until you get what you’ve been longing for.

No. You’ll live, full out, in fact. You’ll have the time of your life.

Holding out doesn’t mean standing still, and it doesn’t mean holding back.

It doesn’t mean waiting inside your house, twiddling your thumbs, expecting your desires to land on your doorstep without your getting out there and calling them in.

Instead, it means knowing what you want and knowing that you deserve it.

It means having a hell of a lot of fun whilst not settling.

It means kissing frogs and signing up for stuff that really wasn’t that great in the end.

It means bumbling around figuring out what it is that you even want through trying out a lot of things that you don’t.

Yet, all the while, you know that yours is coming.

The wait will always be worth it.

So hold out.



What are you holding out for? Tell me about it in the comments!

P.S. You know what you don’t need to hold out for? Being the perfect weight. If you’re ready to stop weighting on the weight and living now, join Sarah Jenks’ Live More Challenge that starts Friday! I’ll be doing the daily challenges right along side all of you and you can still register here.

And if you haven’t listened to our chat yet The Truth About Your Belly Fat & Bank Account, grab your copy here.



  • Good Morning…
    I am 60! I started a food business 14 years ago and expanded to 2 locations 4 years ago. Opening that business was a decision I made (in spite of terror that lasted for 2 years while I was doing it) to fulfill a creative drive, and a dream I knew I needed to follow.
    Now, 14 years later, I have changed. I want something else but I’m not sure what. I’m tired and also deeply conflicted about whether to sell the business and move on. I have fear, no doubt. I have been in this kind of limbo and know that isn’t productive. I try different ideas in the business to see if I feel differently about staying in it. I just don’t feel confident and trusting about leaving what I have worked so hard to accomplish. I also need to work so I have to find some new direction….

  • It’s so powerful to keep taking baby steps towards your goal or intention. They add up and soon (even when it’s not so soon, it’s all relative) you have what you really want. And there is no substitute for the real thing. The relationship. The work you love. I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for the message.

  • Suzy Holman

    I am holding out for a house in an orchard, that feels like it was built for me!

  • I’m holding out for my extrodinary life filled with Love, passion and adventure! And wonderful projects I can use my extraordinary talents to create powerful connections to and for love and beauty! ❤️❤️❤️???

  • I am holding out untill i make my dream come true , this dream of unyfing in a unique blend personal development work and art work (my 2 passions ) in unique artistic creations , music-halls , shows with teens , adults, parents and kids .

    i am holding out untill the day I will be able to come back to the piano and start piano class again , and have a beautifull piano in my house and sign and take signing lessons

    I am holding out untill the day i will have this house by the beach , and it will be mine ( i already live by the beach but I want it to be for long term)

    I am holding out untill I will have all those friends , artists , singers dancers, performers etc… and I will coach them, and help them thrive as artist and individuals

    I am holding out untill I have my little boat and we will be having nice trips aroubd with my kids and friends

    I am hoding out untill my Center for Human and artistic development is created , this wood natural place suited in nature , pleasant , inspiring , where we will be able to prepare those wonderfull master pieces of Art ( I live in the Caribean now : Martinique , did make part of my dream comme true already … :-) )

    Thank you for the question it is very helpfulll , helps put clarity in !!!

  • hey Kate!

    Wow the crumbs quote is something I have been told and said numerous times over the last couple months as I left the guy I thought was ‘the one’. Walking away from what I thought was my future because I know I deserve cake over crumbs is one of the hardest things I have done. I am taking that energy and working on myself and my business and holding out for the WHOLE CAKE!
    Thank you for your message.
    PS Your It Will poster hangs on the wall right in front of my desk. :)

  • Sarah

    Thank you for this post. I personally needed to hear this, and it brought tears to my eyes. I was just starting to wonder if I should just settle (on a house that I so much want as a lovely haven and grounding place for our family). I’ve passed on so many options over the last couple years that just aren’t “it” and was just starting to wonder if that was the wrong thing to keep doing. But now I feel my resolve again to know what we want, know that we deserve that lovely place that’s just right for us, and to trust that it is already there for when the time is just right.

  • This rings so true for me. I turn 38 tomorrow and I have been feeling the pressure from the doctor to go towards IVF if I want to have a family. My gut feeling is to follow the approaches that feel in synch in the way I live my life. Thanks for this timely post. x

  • Ella

    This was a tough exercise because what kept creeping in was “What are you waiting on?” even though that’s the opposite side of the coin. There’s a fine line there!

    I’m holding out for the right home. A space to call my own that is beautiful, well-built, not too big and yet spacious enough, with a big and abundant garden.

    • Kate Northrup

      It’s true – it is a fine line! We all have to decide which side of it we’re on for ourselves.

  • Kim

    I am holding out for the man of my dreams. I have been divorced for 8 years and have only dated a few times. My sister says I am too picky… darn right I am… I refuse to settle! I am by far unhappy… I refuse to settle for anything less than what I feel is the man of my dreams.

    I am also holding out for my “place”. I am making a move… alone to a new are (12 hour drive) from my home town. Because I believe that there is “more out there”, and I refuse to stay where I grew up, because others think its a great place to live. I have struggled here for the past few years, and again.. I refuse to settle… and I am holding out for a great new home town!

  • Anna

    Thank you for writing this . I needed to see this right now in my life . I’m waiting for the right man . It’s hard but I’m
    Not going to settle . Posted this on my f b wall . Thank you again !

  • Anne

    Your message is timely as I recently ended my relationship with a kind and beautiful soul of man. Incredibly difficult to end this relationship as it was the first time, I had felt safe with a man and experienced such kindness, patience and gentleness. But we wanted different things, I want adventures and never ending learning where he wanted linked at the hips type of partnership. I am holding out for my “match” ❤️ I am thankful for all the experiences of my previous relationship too.

  • I am holding out for love. Romantic love, specifically, as I have plenty of other types of love in my life. I am holding out for that man who lights up my body, my creativity, and my smile. For the one who chooses me every day.

    It feels like I’ve been waiting forever, and the end of the waiting seems nowhere in sight. This idea that is will definitely be “worth it” is tough to swallow because what guarantees can you offer? Can someone guarantee I will experience this love before I die?

    • Kate Northrup

      No one can ever guarantee that because there is something at play way bigger than all of us. But I believe we all are guaranteed to experience our destiny in this lifetime. I would highly recommend the book How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People) by my friend Meggan Watterson. And also her new one, The Sutras of Unspeakable Joy. Blessings to you!

  • Mollie

    Thank you so much for this amazing word and action step for me to take. I am finally at the point in my life where I just want it all! I’m so ready to receive it! I’m holding out until I marry my best friend! God blessed me with a very knowledgeable, humble, fireball of a man, and I can’t wait to do and share life together! There’s a lot more, but that’s my heart. You are amazing Kate thank you for all you do, for that I am grateful.

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