Blog Posts

You Get To Have This


While I’m on maternity leave I’ve asked some of my favorite, most trusted women to take care of my blog for me.  From Sept 9th – Nov 11th you’ll be receiving their weekly wisdom here on my site.

Today’s post is from my sister from another mister, Meggan Watterson.  Meg is pure love. She lives according to following her truth more than anyone I’ve ever met.  Its so awe inspiring to witness.

Meg’s newest book, How To Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People), which she co-authored with Lodro Rinzler, is just out.  It’s an absolutely hilarious, poignant, and incredibly practical book on modern relationships.  Grab your copy here.

Being Meggan’s friend is a true honor.  That’s why I’m so excited to share her guest post on friendship and sisterhood today.  I treasure my relationships with women like Meggan and I completely agree with her when she says that time invested on these relationships is some of the best time ever spent.

Enjoy this salve to your soul post from Meggan Watterson!

I fell madly, and truly in love. And every time I told Kate some stunning thing he did or said, she repeated a phrase that let me fill with a crazy delicious warmth, like an inner-most light switching on, “You get to have this.”

That one phrase echoed inside me when she said it. It validated in the most powerful way that I am worthy of being loved like this – that we are all worthy of being loved with the kind of love that meets us completely.

Then in time, when that love needed to shift and change in ways I wasn’t ready for, I let Kate and our love-tribe of friends into the heartbreak in ways that were new for me. I leaned into feeling vulnerable and humbled, rather than being afraid or ashamed of it. I leaned into my heart and its wild mess of feelings so fully, that it miraculously expanded.

And I found that nothing gives birth to gratitude like the heart that has endured the flames of falling wholly apart. It’s only then that you see how much is always here for you.

An unexpected text, an email, a chain of voice-memos, a gift of new lingerie in the mail- all these seemingly small gestures of love from my love-tribe translated as enormous tributes to remind me of the love that I am. And my love for them in those moments would let this deeper truth, this larger-than-my-hope-for-my-love-life sweep through me.

The presence of my love for these soul-friends let me remember with awe- that I don’t know what happens next. That I don’t need to. That all I need to do is to dare to keep loving and being loved. That’s it. And it’s enough.

Because here’s the most profound diamond I was handed after that season of pain. What hurts the most, what the root of the root of the pain was for me was this- when a person leaves or has to shift and change their way of relating- there’s this tendency to think then that the love we experienced in the relationship is gone, or worse, was never real. And, that we have less to love in our lives – that our love for that person leaves with them.

But with the kind of unfaltering love that friendship gave me through my heartbreak- I got to love more not less. I got to take the love that was cultivated in the relationship with me. I got to continue to expand my capacity to love, which is maybe the whole cosmic point of a romantic relationship anyway, not to necessarily find our life partner- but to wear away at the ego so to expand the soul. I chose, and keep choosing, to not constrict.  To continue to allow only more love into my life in all of its forms. I got to live the truth that the broken open heart holds more light than the closed heart too afraid to break.  {TWEET IT}


There’s this passage in the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, when Peter, one of Jesus’s disciples, admits to Mary- something like, “We know the Savior (aka Jesus) loved you more than all other women.” This love for Mary Magdalene gave her authority in ways the other disciples didn’t get to have. So Peter asks her to tell them the words of the Savior that she remembers. And Mary responds, “I will teach you about what is hidden from you…” This response has always echoed in my mind as the voice of love, as the action that love takes in our lives. Ultimately, we recognize a true love, romantic or otherwise, because it illuminates aspects of ourselves that we couldn’t see on our own.

This is what the true love in friendship does- it expands the myth of what we think is possible for our lives. It sees with us, or even sometimes for us, what we are capable of, or of how much more we can ask for in our lives. In my experience the greatest investment I have ever made is the time, energy, heart, and soul I place into the relationships with these great souls I get to call friends.

We remind each other of what we’ve come here for- of our incandescent worth. We help each other remain at the frequency of true love, even or especially, when we feel our love has gone. We bring each other back to life. We reveal to each other what feels hidden or lost. We point each other back home to this blazing love inside us, this love that comes to meet us from within. We remind each other that this love that is love that is love isn’t in another person…it’s ours. We don’t let each other forget that feeling invaluably, decadently loved is our birthright. And that no matter what happens in our lives, we get to have this. We get to be this holy loved.

Check out my recent interview with Meggan where we dive right into recognizing we are all worthy of love and the need to source it from within ourselves!


No matter who they are, they will be touched.

I find myself frequently wanting to send fan mail and gushing texts of love. I used to hold back because I thought that if someone had reached a certain level of success, wealth, fame, achievement, or — insert whatever word you’d like here for “bigness” — they were probably saturated with positive feedback. When Money: A…

Continue Reading

The simple shift I made to attract my man.

They were so juicy and yummy together. Hanging out with them made me feel like a more loving person. Their love rubbed off on the people around them and made us all feel more loved and loveable. The wisdom says: If you want something, hang around with people who have it. (Tweet it.) So I…

Continue Reading

Setting women and girls free.

I received a beautiful email in January from a woman named Erin Giles on a mission. She asked me to write an essay on freedom to contribute to a book she’s putting together to free women and girls. The book was inspired by a film called Nefarious: Merchant of Souls about the human sex trafficking…

Continue Reading

Glimpse TV with Colleen Saidman Yee: From breath to death and all that’s in between.

Before I had ever really gotten to know Colleen Saidman Yee as the incredibly wise, generous, and profound yoga teacher that she is, I knew her as my godmother’s beautiful, funny neighbor. When I spent three weeks in Sag Harbor, NY last summer I fell in love with Colleen and all of her stunning facets:…

Continue Reading

Prince Charming isn’t coming…is he?

I quote Barbara Stanny saying, “A man is not a financial plan,” in almost every one of my workshops. And yet the other day when I was having an incredible craniosacral healing session with Melanie Ericksen and she got all my chakras in order and buzzing, she asked me a question as she cradled my…

Continue Reading

Feed your love every day (and other wise women relationship gems.)

One recent magical evening in New York I had the pleasure of circling up at Sarabeth’s with eight beautiful women. We were celebrating my friend Danielle’s birthday in pure goddess fashion. As we went around the table, each stating a desire for Danielle (kind of like a birthday wish but with a bit more turgor),…

Continue Reading

Self-love vs. self-improvement: May the best man win.

I have a tremendous need to get results out of anything I do. I started a pranayama practice in October as part of my yoga teacher training and couldn’t seem to stick with it on a daily basis (which was a course requirement) because it didn’t feel like I was getting anywhere. Where exactly would…

Continue Reading