Why Trying to Find Your Purpose Might Be a Waste of Time.


There’s a lot of talk about finding your purpose in the self-help world. I’ve never been into it.

I find the idea that any one of us has one particular purpose limiting. I love the fact that I’m lit up by being a writer, a marketer, a friend, a community creator, a leader, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a teacher, and a dancer (just to mention a few of the many things I am).

I know I’m at my best when I feel my best. So I orient my daily activities and my choices towards what makes me feel the best. What’s so awesome and efficient about this is that choosing what feels good to me ensures I’m a better mom, a better wife, a better business owner, etc.

Trying to distill your purpose down to one phrase or concept can be a real waste of time and energy.

Not to mention the fact that though everyone says life is short, it’s also long. There are so many seasons in most of our lifetimes, and each season requires a different version of ourselves and, therefore, a different purpose.

Plus, the rhetoric around needing to find your purpose leaves people who are in exploration –  living in the fertile void, not sure what they’re doing yet (which is all of us at any given time in our lives) – feel like there’s something wrong with them because they can’t tell you their purpose.

You’ll get a lot more mileage out of getting busy living than sitting around waiting to begin your life once you’ve found your purpose.

If you ask me, our purpose is to be the fullest expression of ourselves. {Tweet It!}


(You’re welcome for saving you hours journaling and possibly hundreds of dollars on seminars and coaching.)

Instead of trying to find your purpose, why not get out and explore what feels good to you?

One day you might be totally on purpose searching the woods for beautiful leaves with your 3-year-old. The next day you might be totally on purpose by giving the presentation of your life at this year’s big conference. And the next day you could be purposefully watching re-runs of Fixer Upper.

All you. All potentially purposeful.

It’s not so much knowing what our purpose is that creates a purposeful life. It’s living purposefully. And living purposefully doesn’t require a well-crafted mission statement that you can whip out at your next self-actualization shindig.

If you stumble upon some elegant purpose statement as you’re exploring the wild ride of being a human and it feels like it fits, awesome! Go with that.

Just don’t get caught in the trap of thinking that somehow you can’t live a great life if you don’t know what your purpose is.

And if you already feel like you have a very clear idea of your purpose, hold it gently. When we cling to our ideas of who we are too tightly we don’t leave much room to surprise ourselves. {Tweet It!}


May we all go forth with the purpose of being us. And may we do it on purpose.



What do you think about the practice of finding your purpose? Are you clear on what your purpose is? How has this clarity helped you in your life? Are you unsure of what your purpose is? How has that affected you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments!


We Are Who We’ve Always Been


I recently went through a bunch of boxes of stuff from my childhood that my mom had been saving in her basement (and requested that I remove given that I’m now an adult with my own basement). Though I’d delayed diving in because the task seemed overwhelming, it was actually really nourishing. Why? Because sitting…

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We started a podcast! Introducing The Kate & Mike Show: Life, Love, and Business


Four years ago Mike and I sat in the living room of a hippy dippy house in Kona, Hawaii, bantering about something I can no longer remember the subject matter of. Our friend Danielle listened and said, “You guys should have a show. I would listen to it.” The idea went underground, as they so…

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Are you living your own unique life or merely the opposite of someone else’s?


“You know what this is about?” she said. “I have no idea,” I replied. “This is about individuation,” she said. What? I had no idea what Barbara Stanny, one of my dear friends and mentors, was talking about. We were on a coaching call, and I was talking to her about the struggle I was…

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Compartmentalization vs. Integration and How to Have It All.


My girlfriend sent me an article about the four burners theory. The idea is that you have four burners in life: family, friends, health, and work. The overall idea is that in order to be successful (whatever that means), you have to cut off one burner. And in order to be really successful, you have…

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On Control and the Inherent Brittleness of Being Rigid.


Rigid things break more easily. This is what I’ve found out. When P was less than 3 months old we hired a sleep consultant who taught us a bunch of hard and fast rules about baby sleep. We implemented them and it worked. P was sleeping two 6-hour stretches in the night. I smugly thought…

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The Antidote to Perfectionism.


I was working on a bunch of marketing emails, and I just wasn’t feeling “in the flow.” My ideas and creativity seemed to be all backed up at the rotary. However, with a baby and limited childcare, I only had the two hours that I had booked to get the emails done before my deadline….

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5 Ways to Have More Sex, Money, and Power

5 Ways to Have More Sex Money and Power_EMAIL

Money and sex. Everyone wants more of them, but we’re not supposed to talk about either. For better or worse, money and sex are potent ways to wield power in society. You can agree or disagree with this from a philosophical standpoint, but you can’t deny that it’s true. The thing that most people don’t…

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4 Money Beliefs That Are Keeping You Small


You want to pay off your debt, decrease your expenses, and increase your income. You want to get it together when it comes to your financial life. But every time you start to track your spending, you get hives and fall off the wagon within a day or two. You have a guilt attack every…

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Just because it gives you a rash doesn’t mean it’s bad for you: on the inevitable discomfort of change and what to do about it.


Four and a half years ago I broke out into a full body rash that itched like a mother. It was very poorly timed because I was about to cruise around the Caribbean with a bunch of entrepreneur/change-maker types at Summit at Sea. Bikini + sun + full body rash = not cute and not…

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