I got the inspiration to do a Blog Babysitter Series from this week’s babysitter, Sarah Jenks. She had a babysitter series on her site when she had her first kid just under two years ago.

Sarah knows how to take exquisite care of herself. She has two kids under two, runs her own business, and has had periods of time being the primary breadwinner. So it’s not like self-care is easy for her. 

She’s figured out how to care for herself beautifully not out of luxury or whim, but as a means of survival. She’s a busy, working mom who’s leading a revolution for women around how we relate to our lives and our bodies. She teaches us how to stop waiting on the weight to live our lives and live them now. Because if your life sucks, being 5 or even 50 pounds lighter won’t actually make you any happier.

I find Sarah inspiring. I drink in her newsletter every week, and each time we chat on the phone I hang up feeling more capable of rocking my life.

I know you’ll feel the same after you drink in her wisdom.

 

Hello there!

I am very excited to be babysitting Kate’s blog today for two reasons: one, because I am very happy to make your acquaintance, and two, because I am so happy to support Kate taking some time to get what she needs as a woman and mother in her first few months of parenthood.  I just had my second baby – a girl as well – just three weeks before Kate, so I know how overwhelming and precious this time is.

Today, I want to talk to you about being a woman, worth and working our asses off…

The other day I was at this great food truck picnic on this huge beautiful field overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge.  My 19-month-old son Marshall was sitting quietly on our very cool Pendleton picnic blanket eating his PB&J, and our newborn Annabelle was asleep in the stroller.  My husband Jonathan got out early from work, and my mother-in-law was there to lend a hand.  It was the stuff Moms dream about.  But halfway through my $15 crab roll, I started crying.  

I was completely exhausted – even though Annabelle has been sleeping for 5 hours straight, even though I had 3 hours to myself the day before, and even though I have a lot of support.  When I got home and crashed on our bed in tears, I had to come to terms with the fact that I needed more.  

You see, most women live in this constant state of “go go go” and operate with this “I can handle it” attitude.  We only dip our toe into self-care, me-time and relaxation once in a while when we are two days away from being committed to a mental institution – or when someone has a big birthday and we begrudgingly go to the spa with them, even though it means leaving our long to-do list for the weekend untouched.

If we had a gas gauge, we’d be hovering just above empty, driving our car until the light goes on and starts flashing.  You feel me?

What I’ve had to learn in my life over and over, and again last week, is that I can’t let my tank get all the way to empty before I fill up.  I actually have to gas up every day in order to be in a state of constantly full, fueled-up and fulfilled.

What would that look like for you? Take a second to think about it.  

If you start to feel a little odd, avoidant, or even panicked thinking about what your life would look like if you were in a constant state of full, that’s normal.

When we imagine living in this state, all sorts of things can come up for us.  We start to think about the amount of money it would take, how we wouldn’t have as much time for work or our kids.  We think about being judged by our partners, friends and parents for being such a “lush” or “lazy.”

Since when is being rested, happy and relaxed too much to ask?  When did how much we “do” or “take on” or “handle” become a measure of our self-worth? {TWEET IT}

Self-worth.  This one is important to explore. I believe most of us have this unconscious belief that we need to earn our keep.  We need to take on all the parenting, housekeeping, full-time work AND still be a rested, happy, sexy woman because we almost feel guilty if we don’t.  It sounds a little extreme, but let’s be honest. It’s true.

We have to drop all the doing, perfection, and Martha Stewartness in favor of self-care, space, and restoration.  

There are probably many things you think you have to do, that you don’t.  What would it be like to make a list of all the things you actually want to do, that bring you joy, and only do those things?  Scary? Maybe impossible? Maybe not…

I have an invitation for you: I’m hosting a challenge where I am leading thousands of women to do one small thing every day to help you fill up your tank and start creating more space.  I want you to feel what it’s like to take care of you no matter how busy, strung out, overweight, broke, or attached you are to “doing it all.”

Look, I’ve been in that place of overwhelm plenty of times.  That place where I think if I just finish this project, lose ten pounds, get my kid into daycare, or when Jonathan’s schedule calms down that’s when I’ll finally slow down. And when I get to that place, I’ll feel so accomplished and life will be totally handled and organized because of all the hard work I put in.  Never happened.  And I’m guessing that magical place of “there” never happened for you either.  

I hope you’ll join me for my Live More Challenge on Instagram that started on November 2nd.  It’s not too late – you can still sign up at livemorechallenge.com to get all the directions on how to participate.  It’s completely free and makes quite an impact.  It would be a joy to spend more time with you and get to know you better.

Over to You:

In the comments below, I’d love to know what it would take for you to feel constantly fueled-up and fulfilled.

Lots of love,
Sarah Jenks