Are you ever caught in that headspace where it feels like your dreams are a little out of reach? That feeling of knowing deep down that you’re destined for more – more visibility, impact, and recognition?
Enter Selena Soo, a publicity and marketing strategist who’s a wizard at catapulting people into the spotlight. When I first met with Selena years ago, it struck me how she’s got this gift for seeing the star power within someone, even when they can’t see it themselves. She’s enlightening, genuine, and simply incredible.
Selena’s not just someone who understands the value of publicity – she’s someone who turns it into an art form. With her instinct for connecting the dots between your story and the heartbeat of the media, she has transformed the way thought leaders and entrepreneurs step into their light.
In today’s Plenty episode, we’re diving deep into the world of media magic. We’ll explore the pathways that brilliant women, just like you, can navigate to amplify their voice and shape their own extraordinary narratives.
Ready to unlock your inner luminary and sprinkle some stardust on your mission? Let’s dive in!
The Power Of Publicity
In the online space teeming with voices, securing a feature in a renowned publication can be as pivotal as finding a diamond in the rough—a moment that elevates your work from hidden gem to treasured masterpiece. Much like the glow of a rare jewel, publicity casts a luminous aura around your brand, one that beckons a global audience to admire and resonate with your message. Securing a place in esteemed outlets like Forbes or on Oprah’s coveted reading list signals a turning point, a moment where your name becomes synonymous with influence and authority.
“It’s not merely about being seen; it’s about connecting your work to a wider audience and creating a ripple effect that extends the reach of your message,” says Selena Soo. This ripple effect she refers to isn’t just about spreading your story—it’s about embedding your narrative into the collective consciousness, inspiring potential followers and customers to engage with your vision.
Engagement through publicity is a strategic form of storytelling, where each interview, article, or social media feature is a thread woven into a larger narrative tapestry that spans beyond your immediate circle. Each mention or feature acts as a portal through which new audiences can discover the heart and soul behind your brand, align with your values, and ultimately, participate in the journey you’re facilitating.
In essence, the pursuit of publicity is a quest for connection rather than mere recognition. It’s about crafting a narrative so compelling that it not only captures attention but also encourages dialogue and drives change. With every story shared, you’re not just broadcasting your presence—you’re inviting others to find a piece of themselves within your work, strengthening the bond between your brand and the world it aims to inspire.
Overcoming Fear and Self Doubt
Are you staring down the prospect of pitching myself to the media, with that little voice in my head whispering doubts like, “Am I truly the most qualified?” or “What if I’m not good enough?” That inner critic can be pretty convincing, right? But here’s the thing: this isn’t just a case of cold feet; it’s more common than you think. So many of us experts and creators out there hold back because of these insecurities.
But let’s flip the script for a second. We’re often our own harshest critics, yet if we were to sit down and actually list our achievements and knowledge, we’d realize we know so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Selena nails it when she says we know more than 99% of people in our area of expertise. It’s all about translating that incredible wealth of knowledge into something bite-sized and relatable for John and Jane Doe.
If you’re the type to get your hands dirty working one-on-one with clients, solving their challenges left and right, then guess what? You’re already sharing your message! It’s just a matter of amplifying your voice a bit louder so more folks can benefit from your wisdom. The media is on a never-ending hunt for fresh takes and genuine experts like you because different stories resonate with different listeners. Each of us adds a unique flavor to the conversation simply by bringing our own backgrounds and personalities to the forefront.
Here’s another heart-to-heart from Selena: It’s our responsibility to uplift diverse voices, not just the ones who bask in the limelight. And, spoiler alert: you don’t need to be a born extrovert to be successful in publicity. Introverts have just as much to offer the world — sometimes it’s just a matter of leveraging our natural strengths, like our ability to deeply connect with others one at a time, rather than commanding an audience.
So how do you tackle the intimidating world of publicity as someone who isn’t naturally inclined to ‘go grab the mic’? Simple: reconnect with your ‘why.’ Why is your message so darn important? Let that drive be your beacon, guiding you through the world of visibility and reminding you that your voice is not just necessary; it’s essential. Because when people like you share their message, it empowers others to do the same. It’s about creating ripples of change and impact, one story at a time.
Common Mistakes In Pitching
As someone who has navigated the entrepreneurial seas, I can attest to the siren call of wanting to discuss every aspect of our business adventures. There’s something invigorating about sharing every facet, from the mastery of our craft to the nitty-gritty of entrepreneurship. Yet, in my conversations with Selena, a vital lesson emerged, one that’s shaped my approach to pitching.
I recall a period where my business mastermind was my world—delving into hiring strategies, team management, and the like. Discussing those topics felt incredibly rewarding. But imagine if I were to take to the podcast scene and dish exclusively on HR matters? I’d quickly become associated with human resources, straying far from my core message of living life according to your own cycle—in rhythm with your business.
The lesson here is clear: specialization is key. Sharing my insights on cycle syncing and how it impacts productivity and time management — that’s what truly resonates with my audience. It’s not just about repetition for the sake of it; it’s about the consistent, strategic reinforcement of your value proposition.
On the podcast, Selena shared a nugget of wisdom that beautifully encapsulates this strategy: “We should be so lucky that someone has heard our message a million times.” In the world of pitching, it’s not about who can cover the most ground—it’s about who can home in on their specialty with unyielding clarity.
This conversation with Selena reminded me that the art of pitching is an exercise in strategic discernment. We must resist the temptation to be all things to all people, and instead deliver compelling, targeted pitches that echo the essence of our work. After all, the beauty of our business lies not in its breadth, but in the depth and richness of our chosen focus.
Tips on Getting Your Story Featured
As you wade through the world of pitching, one truth becomes crystal clear: rejection is a rite of passage. Sending out countless pitches and receiving a stack of ‘no’s’ isn’t just an obstacle; it’s part of the journey toward achieving the visibility we crave. But don’t be disheartened. Each ‘no’ brings us closer to the ‘yes’ that can change everything.
Drawing from the well of wisdom shared by Selena, it’s evident that the crux of successful pitching is in the story idea. Crafting your pitch with the media outlet or podcast host in mind is paramount. Here are some gems from Selena’s treasure trove on how to make your pitches irresistible:
- Pitch With Precision:
- Present your story ideas in headline format – make it snappy and clickable.
- Think like the host: “Would my audience click on this interview or article?”
- Market Yourself Distinctively:
- Share captivating elements about yourself that set you apart.
- Highlight personal traits that resonate with others, such as overcoming introversion to achieve major visibility.
- Subtopics Are Your Subtext:
- While your core expertise is key, relevant subtopics can add depth to your value proposition.
- For instance, beyond publicity and relationship building, discuss triumphs like seven-figure launches.
- Serve, Don’t Just Sell:
- Approach pitching as an act of service: help the host or editor by presenting material that benefits their audience.
- Provide clear, useful information that makes it simple for decision-makers to welcome you aboard.
Selena’s approach turns the daunting pitch process into a structured strategy, putting into sharp relief the importance of coming across as a helper, not just a self-promoter. The heart of Selena’s message? When we pitch, we must remember that we’re alleviating workloads, solving problems, and enriching experiences. It’s this authentic approach, wrapped up in a service mindset, that not only makes our pitches successful but also genuinely appreciated.
Your Pitch Is Only As Good As Your Story
Now, I have tell you about Selena’s story—it’s a real heart-check. She opened up about how her dreamy romance flipped into an emotionally abusive relationship. She was riding high in 2017, with love and business blooming, but behind the scenes, things turned sour. Her partner, once Mr. Wonderful, started chipping away at her confidence, questioning her decisions, and making her question herself—classic gaslighting.
This wasn’t just tough on the heart; it seeped into her business choices and shook up her support crew. There came this breaking point where she had to choose between her guy and her team—the kind of ultimatum that no one should face.
But here’s the kicker: even as her personal life was doing somersaults, her business kept soaring. That’s serious resilience. And now Selena’s out there with a message for anyone who’s been down that rough road—you’re not alone, and there’s a way out. If you’ve been there, it’s okay to reach out, get some help, and take back your power. We’re all about owning our stories and not letting the tough stuff overshadow our shine.
Selena’s story just goes to show you can go through some real heavy stuff in your personal life, like a relationship that totally throws you for a loop, and still come out the other side with your business not just doing okay, but actually rockin’ it. She’s living proof that when things get super tough, we don’t have to crumble—we can channel that into something amazing. Her sharing her story is all about letting us know it’s okay to be real about the hard stuff and still slay in our work. It’s super inspiring to anyone who’s trying to figure out how to balance the messy bits of life with chasing their dreams.
If this episode resonated with you, be sure to grab Selena’s FREE 12-month Publicity Calendar: ImpactingMillions.com/Kate
I am so honored to have had Selena share her expertise on how to be featured in big media outlets even as an introvert. I hope that this episode has inspired you to take action today to start becoming more visible and spreading your message.
About The Guest
Selena Soo is a marketing and publicity strategist who helps entrepreneurs and authors gain media exposure. She emphasizes the power of storytelling in gaining media coverage and offers tips on improving relationships with the media. She encourages introverts to embrace publicity and offers advice on navigating it.
Connect with Selena:
Ready to fill your weeks with inspiration, hard-earned business truths, and insights? Eager to discover how you can do less and yet achieve more? Then, it’s time for you to sign up for the Dispatch, my weekly newsletter! Join our community now at katenorthrup.com/dispatch and let’s embark on this journey together. Remember, it’s not about doing more, it’s about making more of what truly matters. See you there!
Hi, I’m so happy you’re here for today’s episode of Plenty, which is all about growing your impact through publicity. If you dream of having a New York Times bestseller, if you know that getting in front of top tv, top podcast and top magazines is the best way, or if you guess that perhaps it is for you to get your message out there,
then you are in the right place. Selena Sue is a marketing and publicity strategist for visionary entrepreneurs and authors, and she has helped thousands of people be featured in places like the Oprah Magazine, Forbes, and Inc. She personally has been featured all over the place in places like Business Insider and More and Forbes. And she talks about today the power of telling your story and why stories matter and the biggest mistakes people make that get them not featured in the media or not even having their pitches opened.
How to actually get featured, how to build those lasting relationships in with the media that helps you get that visibility. And she also talks about sharing her own story of getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship and how that shaped her and her view of storytelling and publicity. So today is a really important episode if you are wanting to be seen and impact millions because it is one of the best ways to help the world with your life-changing message.
So enjoy Selena and enjoy this episode. Welcome to Plenty. I’m your host, Kate Northrop, and together we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time, and energy, and to have abundance on every possible level. Every week we’re gonna dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty. Let’s go fill our cups.
Hey Selena, thank you for being here on Plenty. I’m so thrilled to be Here. So I know you’re really passionate about publicity. Yes. That’s how you and I met you. And I met actually at a coffee shop when I was launching my first book Money A Love Story. I think Laura Belgrade introduced us. Oh Really? Or was It?
I don’t remember. Anyway, do you Remember? We have so many mutual friends. So it Was a long time ago though. One of them. It was, yeah, that book was coming out in 2013. So I think I might have met you in 2012. I didn’t know that was your first book. Yeah. Okay. It was a long time ago.
So exciting. So exciting. So at that time I met you in the realm of publicity. Were you already working in publicity? That was 12 years ago. Wait, what year was this? 20 2012. Yeah, that’s when I started my business. That’s When you started your business business. So what got you going around publicity? How did you get started in this industry?
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the reason why I’m so passionate about publicity is because I feel like it’s the fastest way for experts to get instant credibility and share their message. And so the journey started when I was, you know, living in New York City in my late twenties. And I was working in a nonprofit at the time, making about $42,000 a year.
I was, you know, clinically depressed and things got so bad that my mom flew all the way from Vancouver, Canada to be with me to make sure I was getting outta bed, putting my clothes on, putting food into my body. And she would accompany me on the subway to work like I was this helpless school girl. And I remember saying to a friend,
you know, I have to find a way to feel better ’cause I just can’t live like this. And that’s when I got introduced to a female life coach. And that really changed my life. I got introduced to, you know, her teachings, all these different books, Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay. And I realized, you know,
when people are struggling and suffering, they don’t just need more information, they also need inspiration. And so for me, I truly believe that there’s nothing more inspiring than someone who is a role model, who embodies this message of hope and possibility that has a personal story and can show as there’s another way. Right? And you can get out of this painful circumstance.
And so I discovered this entire world of experts and I remember asking my friends, have you heard of this person and that person? ’cause these ideas are changing my life. And a lot of times my friends had no idea who I was talking about. And so that’s when I became really passionate about publicity. ’cause I really wanted to elevate the voices of people who I felt like had a life-changing message.
And so what is your definition of publicity? Yeah, so for me, publicity, it’s all about sharing your message on someone else’s platform. Right? So it could be a podcast interview, you could be speaking to a more intimate audience and someone’s mastermind group. It could be TV, magazines. I mean, even if you’re doing like an IG Live interview,
that could still be a form of publicity. Okay. So if somebody, I will come across people like this. Yeah. And the following. So they’re like think that if their work is good enough, yeah. They shouldn’t need to get publicity. Oh. Or that like people should just find them. Right? Or they think that somehow like going after publicity cheapens them or is like selling out.
Now can you tell me what the problem is with that particular mindset? Oh my goodness. So many things. I mean, I think that if you’re doing great work, more people need to know about you. And it’s one thing for you to tell everyone I’m amazing or you should just know them. Amazing, right? But it’s so powerful when there’s other people,
podcasters, TV hosts, magazine editors, influencers, experts who are telling people, this person’s work is amazing. You need to know about them. Right? And you’re all about like doing less and creating more leverage in your life. So getting publicity is like creating leverage around your message, right? Instead of talking to one person, there are a hundred people,
500, a thousand, 5,000, maybe even a hundred thousand or a million people taking in your message at the same time. So that’s the power of publicity. If you wanna reach more people faster, that’s the way to do it. And I think also when people see that you are being recognized as a credible expert, it also elevates what you’re as sharing to them.
They take it in more seriously. They’re more likely to take action and therefore more likely to be transformed by your work. Totally. So the illusion from the outside when you’re not sort of behind the scenes in the publicity world is that the people who are the most highly skilled get chosen for the publicity. Right. And that the, that the publicity finds them,
which does happen sometimes. Yeah. However, What is actually true about who’s getting featured in the media, right? It’s people who go for the opportunities. Yes. I mean, I have a program called Impacting Millions. And it’s interesting ’cause I’ve had thousands of entrepreneurs go through it. And the people that are most successful are the people that are just willing to take imperfect action.
You know, they learn about an opportunity and they’re like, okay, let me, you know, throw my hat in the ring, let me send an email. They’re not, you know, thinking about it for two months, you know, doing nothing. So yeah, it’s really people who are like, okay, like I’m gonna go for this.
I love that. Okay. But sometimes folks, including myself, yeah, feel like, okay, I wanna put my hat in the ring, but like, what if I’m not the most qualified? Or what if I’m like, what if I’m not good enough? So what happens for us? Or how do you coach your people through that feeling of like,
ah, I’m, maybe I’m not good enough or maybe I’m not qualified enough to be the one featured on Good Morning America or The Today Show, or even any podcast that you listen to or an even an online article, Right? I mean, I think all of us who are experts, we know more than 99% of the people. And so we just need to make sure that we can translate our message so that the everyday person can take it in.
So, you know, if you are someone that is already working with clients and you’re, you know, helping them find solutions to their challenges, right? You’re already sharing your message with people. So it’s just about sharing it with more people. And I think that, you know, the media, they’re looking for different kinds of experts because the message is gonna land differently depending on who is sharing it.
Everybody brings their own personal story to the table. Another thing that I’m just really passionate about, in addition to publicity, it’s just elevating all kinds of voices. Not just people that feel like I was, you know, I was born for the stalk pot light. There are people that are just ready to run and grab the microphone. Yes. And like,
and that’s amazing. Like good for them. But I think that we need people, you know, from different ethnicities and personalities and backgrounds to be sharing their message. ’cause it shows other people that they can do the same thing. So something I know about you is that you are an introvert. Yeah. And a misunderstanding is that we have to be that person who’s ready to go Grab the mic.
Mic. Yeah. And the total extrovert in order to go for visibility and publicity. So as an introvert, how have you navigated the world of publicity and what do you recommend to people who aren’t as naturally gonna just like go grab the mic? Yeah, absolutely. So I think it’s reconnecting with your why. You know, why is it so important for you to share your message?
So when I started my business, it was so comfortable for me to promote everyone else. Like that was my happy zone, being behind the scenes. But I also realized if I wanted to do the things that I wanted to do, like host events and support a lot of clients, but beyond just a small handful that I would need to get myself out there too.
And so a lot of it is also, you know, feeling the fear and doing it anyways. So I remember one of my clients, her name was Kenisha, and she was like, Selena, I wanna share you with my audience. People need to know about you. And there was a part of me inside that was like, no, I’m not ready for this.
But I also knew deep down like, I need to say yes to this opportunity. And so we did this interview together and I remember, you know, kind of feeling like a deer in headlights, like very uncomfortable and just like racing through my words. And afterwards I got a recording of the interview and watching it, I was just horrified. You know,
I was so judgmental because, you know, my eyes were like looking up to the sky talking so fast. And I just felt like it was a complete disaster. But then I showed it to my interns at the time and I remember saying, you know, there’s no way I can share this interview. Like, I had literally counted 137 filler words.
I was in Toast Masters. I’m like, this was a train wreck. But they were like, honestly, it’s good. I think people are really gonna like it. And I mailed the interview out to my audience of about 80 people on my email list. And people wrote back saying, oh my gosh, it’s so exciting to see you on video.
You have such a way of speaking to people and sharing their, you know, your story in a way that really like moves others. And so I kind of got a few big lessons from that that I carry to this day. And so the first one is oftentimes we are our own biggest critic. You know, I was literally like counting the filler words,
like waiting for all the moments I felt like I was not good enough and messing up. And that’s not how other people are taking in our content. You know, even if you trip on a word or you have a filler award, that’s part of being natural, right? And then the other thing that I realized is that, you know, we tend to compare our beginning to someone else’s middle or end.
And so I think for all of us, there are people that we admire who are gracing, the TEDx stage bestselling authors, people that are great on video. And we’re like, oh my gosh, they’re up here and I’m down here. And the thing is, when you’re getting started on your publicity journey, you will be down there. And the only way to get better is to take that imperfect action and to have,
you know, kindness and grace towards yourself that you’re gonna kind of suck a little bit. But the only way to get better is just to do it. And then the biggest thing for me that always helps me is just reminding myself, why am I even doing this? Like, I think for myself, for you, for many people, we’re not looking to be in the spotlight because we’re just simply looking to show off and have people look at us.
It’s because we have a message that we believe in so much and that we really wanna help people. And right. So at the end of an interview, I just ask myself, did I show up with generosity? Was I present? Did I share information, ideas, a story that could move someone that could change their thinking, that could help them reach a goal or overcome a challenging time?
And if the answer is yes, then I did a great job. Because I’m not here to show off or look good. I’m just here to share a message. I love that. So you’ve worked with thousands of people, thousands. Yeah. Around their publicity journeys. What is one of the most common mistakes that you see people making when they are pitching Common mistakes?
So there’s a lot, I think one thing that’s really important, and this is how I pr approach publicity, is to really be strategic with the publicity. So I think as entrepreneurs sometimes, you know, there’s a million different topics that we can talk about from, you know, our core craft to being an entrepreneur. But like, when I think about myself,
there was a time when I had, you know, a business mastermind that was year long and we would talk about things like hiring a senior project manager or a marketing director and this and that. And you know, it can feel exciting to talk about these topics, but if I go on the podcast circuit and talk about these things, people are gonna associate me with like hr,
you know? Totally. And that’s something that I’m maybe sharing with just like 20 people and a mastermind group. But when you look at like your core offers, so for me it’s always publicity offers, you know, then I need to be talking about publicity, right? So even though we can feel like I’m sharing the same message over and over again,
that’s what we have to do, right? We should be so lucky that someone has heard our message a million times, right? So I think for everyone, like take a moment to think about, you know, with your business, what are your core offers? What are the things that people are paying you money for? What are the key challenges that are looking to get solved?
Where do they really struggle? What are the questions they ask you? And then really coming up with your key expert topics based on, you know, who is paying you money and then creating story ideas from that. Okay. Fan, I mean, that’s so good. Obviously it’s very strategic, but I think it’s something that we forget a lot. Yeah.
Because it’s like, okay, I’m just going for publicity. But it’s like the, the type matters, right? And the topic matters ’cause you’re gonna be spending all this time. One thing that you do or maybe used to do that you don’t do anymore that I really admired and that I started to do is that you would, oh yeah, I know.
You know what it is. Do you wanna say? Yeah, the Batching, right? So yeah, I’m, I mean, even though I’m a publicity expert, I myself am not doing publicity year round because then as an entrepreneur there’s so many things that we should be doing. But to be doing everything all the time, it’s just too much. Yes.
So I’ll have seasons, you know, maybe it’s like I’ve got a big program coming out. Or like if someone has a book coming out, then maybe you spend three months getting publicity and then it airs like over the course of a year or during the launch itself. Yes. Because those of us who are running our businesses have other stuff going on.
Yes. Like big stuff going on. We’re delivering our programs, we’re marketing our programs, we are writing books, we are running our own podcast. Yes. We whatever. And so like one thing I know I could be doing all the time is pitching. Right. But I’m not in full, you know, full transparency. Right. Most of the media I do these days is because I got asked to do it.
However, I have done enough pitching to like prime the pump. Yes. That now I just get asked. But it took some getting going at first Absolutely. Of pitching. So you said one of the biggest mistakes is that people are like sort of non-strategic with their topics. Yeah. And then in terms of actually writing the pitches, what do you think is one great tip to think about to get a winning pitch?
Knowing that you know, you’re gonna have to send a lot of pitches and you’ll get a bunch of no’s and that’s also part of the process. Yeah. I mean it’s really going to be about the story idea. And so it’s really important to present your story ideas in headline format if you can. So they can think like the host is like, oh,
I could see people wanting to click, you know, on that interview or that article. And so really putting your marketing hat on and just also like including interesting elements about yourself. You know, when I have talked to other entrepreneurs and asked them, why did you join my program? People have consistently said like, because you’re an introvert and if you can get major visibility,
build a multi seven figure business, be in hundreds and hundreds of media outlets, then I feel like I can’t let my introversion hold me back. And people have also said, it’s so inspiring that you’ve had seven figure launches and things like that. And so I’ll also, like my core expert topics are, you know, publicity and relationship building, but then subtopics are,
you know, the introvert piece as well as building a million dollar business. So I know that’s what people are drawn to. And so I also, you know, include that within my story ideas and like subpoints about what I can talk about. Yeah. And one thing that you, you know, even to come, you have this interview happen. Like one thing that I made the mistake of,
so I’m just like letting you know this was, this is my mistake that Selena did not do. I, when I had my first book coming out. Yeah. I was like, my friends who have podcasts or YouTube shows or whatever, like they know I’ve got a book coming out. They’ll just invite me if they want me, if they wanna have me And my one friend,
I don’t remember who it was, she was like, I think that you’re wrong and I think you should actually pitch them even though you know them already. And so I took her, I was going to make the mistake of just assuming that if someone wanted to, someone wanted to have me, they would have me. But we forget like people are so busy.
Right. So even, you know, emailing the truth is Selena. Yeah. If you had just emailed me to be like, can I be on your podcast? I would’ve said yes, however you Took. Oh, I didn’t expect that though. Well I love that. But you, because we’ve had enough experience with each other, like, I know you deliver.
Yeah. However, you made my job so easy by telling me, here are the things I think that would benefit your audience. Like you put in the effort. And it helps me feel cared for, it helps me feel respected and it helps my audience feel cared for. So you’re really coming from a service perspective. And I just wanna say I appreciate that.
Yeah. And it’s a total classic. Oh, Thank you. I just wanna add on to what you’re saying because you know, I think it’s so important that when we’re pitching a podcast host or an article, like we wanna give the decision maker the information to make it easy for them to say yes. Yes. So like if you’re, you know,
pitching a business insider saying that you wanna write a guest post, like you should also include a writing sample of your work because they don’t wanna say yes to someone that can’t write and there’s a million back and forth and they can’t use the article. And similarly, if someone is going to go onto a podcast, you wanna know that they’re able to share their story and that they’re comfortable with like a back and forth conversation.
Or if you’re going on tv, right, like live TV where there aren’t do-overs, the TV producers are gonna wanna see that, you know, you have been on video before and you’re comfortable when I, you know, when people pitch me to speak at like my mastermind or they’re looking to speak at someone else’s, I always encourage them to, you know,
have the title of the presentation. If you can like include a link to the slide deck, even better you have a link to you recording and presenting. Do that too. Yeah. Because I did have a situation once and you know, people were spending $30,000 to be in this mastermind and I invited someone who I was friendly with and I really liked her,
but I had never heard her present. And I told her that, you know, I needed, you know, the slide deck and an outline or just something so I could really understand what was being shared. And it kind of came all in very last minute. And I ended up just saying yes. But afterwards I heard through another team member that my masterminds were really disappointed and they felt like,
you know, they’re spending all this money and the presentation just didn’t give them what they needed. And so for a lot of entrepreneurs, you know, when they’re putting you in front of their audience that they’ve worked so hard to build or in front of their top clients, they want that reassurance to know that you’re gonna do a good job. That’s why when people recommend someone,
it’s like, okay, they’ve got that stamp of approval from someone that I know can vouch for them. Or if you can include, you know, recording to a podcast interview, a video, a slide deck or bullet points or something, you just make it easier for someone to say yes. Like if you pitch someone something and there’s like seven follow up questions,
they’re, you’re probably not gonna hear from them. ’cause it’s already like feeling like too much work. Totally. Yes. You have to make it easy for the people to say yes. And, and per, you know what you did, I have what written well done pitches to some of my friends Yeah. Who have big, you know, audiences or whatever in that same vein.
Yes. ’cause of that original lesson where someone was like, Kate, no one’s just gonna ask you. You have to put your hand up. And then I was like, well if I’m gonna send the email, I might as well make their life easier. And it was great, it was great. And it also helps build that relationship because people feel valued.
Yeah. When you do that extra legwork. So you said that it’s really, how good is the story? Yeah. That’s an essential element of the pitch. And I know that you have a personal story that you shared within the last couple of years from your own history that was a little scary, Yes. To reveal. Do you mind sharing what that story was and what the experience was like moving through the fear of revealing it and why you decided to do it?
Yeah. That was, you know, really interesting because I never thought that I would have a story like this to share. And it wasn’t something that was part of like a publicity strategy or like part of like a business move or anything. Yeah. But basically back in 2017, I met someone, fell in love, thought this was the love of my life.
And it was like this fairy tale in the beginning where he would, you know, whine and dime me and whisk me away for these like romantic weekends, give me endless compliments, like massive bouquets of flowers. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. But over a series of months, like he went from my biggest fan to my biggest critic and started getting involved in my business and looking at all of my expenses,
telling me that I was paying people too much, that I couldn’t trust people on my team, that I couldn’t trust my friends, that they were competitors and didn’t have my best interests at heart. That my male mentors were romantically interested in me. Like all these things. Like trying to basically get me to cut everyone off. And I remember at one point he even said that he issued basically a relationship ultimatum saying that I would need to let go of certain team members if I wanted to be with him.
I know that like hearing this, it can sound like crazy. Like how did I even get myself into this situation? But I think that all of us, you know, as entrepreneurs, like we’re vulnerable at times and you know, we let someone into our business in life and when they’re a romantic partner and there’s like, you know, pleasure and business mixed together and that dual relationship,
it, it gets complicated. Yes. And so anyways, you know, I kind of, yeah, I made all these changes in my business, my bank account, I had more money than ever. I already had a lot of money. But you know, there’s ebbs and flows when you have like launch based businesses. And so I had more money in my business,
but my personal bank account was like dwindling because he was like controlling all the expenses and I wasn’t able to spend anything. And it was like he was preparing my business for a sale. It was like very odd behavior. But yeah, over time things just got so bad that I ended up, you know, ending the relationship. But this person was actually,
you know, mentally ill. I know there’s varying levels of mental illness. And so even after leaving the relationship and actually like physically relocating to Puerto Rico, I would continue to hear for him for like another like 18 months. Wow. He literally created 33 different phone numbers to text me. So I would block him and then a new phone number would appear like thir.
I, I was like literally, ’cause you know, you document all these things right. Like for the police and so it was just like wild. And yeah, a part of me thought that like he was never gonna leave and I was just gonna be like tormented and harassed for the rest of my life. And eventually I, I made some like big legal moves and things sort of came to an end.
But it was interesting because the thing is I was actually really successful in my business, but you know, when you have like these negative influences around you, they can manipulate you. Yes. And they can, you know, make you almost feel like you’re going crazy. And so yeah, it was just like an interesting journey. And the reason why I shared this story is because people didn’t really know that was going on with me.
I felt like it was a very shameful thing to be experiencing because I felt like anyone who heard my story would be like, well, you know, I would never do that. But I think that if people read the full story, which they can, you know, Google my name Selena Sue and the words emotionally abusive relationship, it will come up,
it’s a medium article. I think that a lot of people will see a piece of themselves Yeah. In the story. Because the truth is we all have relationships in our lives that haven’t been good that maybe, you know, are past or expiration date. And you know, typically when there’s someone that is creating drama in your life, that’s not how they start off.
You know, if someone was like off the gate, you know, creating all these issues, like you wouldn’t even let them into your life. Right. So it’s oftentimes it’s people who are like, they start off as like your biggest fan, you know, whether it’s a romantic partner or a team member or a colleague or whatever it is. And then over time,
you know, these not so great things come up. But then we make excuses because we’re like, oh, they’re having a bad day. This happened in their personal life. This isn’t really who they are. They’ve done all these things for me. And then we just allow an unhealthy person in our lives. And so, yeah, it’s just been an interesting journey because after that relationship I just felt like,
okay, I’m done. I’ve learned the lesson, this is never gonna happen to me again. But then I had other situations in my life with, you know, team members that were emotionally volatile, you know, contractors that I would hire. And I realized that the common denominator was me not to excuse abuse of people, but also knowing that there was an aspect of,
you know, part of me that was an energetic match. And for me, just, you know, I grew up in an environment where there was a lot of emotional volatility. And so sometimes when over time someone becomes, you know, like they, they act out. There’s a part of me that’s like, oh, I know how to handle this,
you know, I’m really good at like Yeah. It feels like home. Yeah. Feels like home. I know how to calm people down and harmonize situations. I’m like, okay, I’ve got this, we’ve got this. Everything’s good until the next flare up. You know? Right. And so I realized that I had created a safe, literally I had created a safe space inside my business for emotionally volatile people to thrive.
And it was on me. And so I have thankfully cleared that up and I only have peaceful relationships in my life. Beautiful. But I am just like, now I’m like hypersensitive. Yeah. And I can see like the warning signs a mile away when people come on really strong and they don’t really know you well yet and they’re trying to become your best friend or they’re trying to push you into something and it’s like,
we’re just like getting to know each other. Yes. You know, there’s really no need to accelerate something in the beginning. So True stages. Yeah. But yeah, that happens to all of us. We get excited, but then we can overlook things. So that’s been one of my, you know, biggest life lessons is to, you know,
give my myself space to really get to know someone over time. It’s such a good lesson to just pump the brakes. Yeah. And let it take its course in a slow, methodical way. I mean, I’m the kind of person that I assume everyone has my best interest in heart. I am very, I’m like a golden retriever, you know,
like, and I love that about myself. However, the older I get, the more discerning I have become where I still am like innocent until proven guilty. Like I, I’m not skeptical. Yes. And I also see the red flags earlier because of having experiences like that. Yeah. Now, what made you decide to tell that story? Why did that feel important?
I felt like I wanted to be congruent within myself. And it felt like it was such a big part of my life that I was hiding from other people. And I also think that when we own our story, then we released the shame around it. And I wanted to be the one that told the story because I didn’t know if like, you know,
he was going to start posting things, you know, all kinds of crazy things on social media. ’cause you never know when someone is unhinged and you know, not well. And I also just felt like, you know, I really felt my story could help people. Right. Like, you know, the most powerful stories can change people’s lives. They can even save people’s lives.
And there were people that literally messaged me saying things like, I have the exact same story, just different details right. Over and over again. Same story, different details. Or you know, I see that I’m in this kind of relationship and now I can see like the path, right. I’m gonna go down if I don’t stop it. So people did literally say that they,
you know, the story saved their life. So yeah, I think it was the most important thing that I had ever written. And I’m just so glad that I got out there. And I think the other thing is, you know, at the end of the day, my work is all about elevating role models. People that have an important message to share with other people.
And it reach a point where it’s like, I actually have this really important message too, that I think that can really transform, you know, someone else’s life and get them to recognize the signs of abuse earlier on. Because I also think that, you know, like our relationships are the most important thing in their our life. It really determines the quality of our life.
And so if we have these negative influences, we’re never going to shine as bright as we could. We’re never really gonna step into our full potential. And so clearing yourself of those negative influences is key to really achieving all the things that you wanna achieve and making your biggest impact in the world. Yeah. It’s so important. And it really does, you know,
as you said, loop back around to what you said at the very beginning, which is why you got started in publicity was because these experts and their stories Yes. Had helped you out of your depression and really into a different way of experiencing life. So it’s really beautiful that you have gotten to be that for people, for other people. Now super full circle.
So can you tell me the story of someone who you’ve worked with who was able to use publicity, like kind of as the before and the after to be able to grow their impact and through growing visibility like one of your clients? Yeah, absolutely. And what happened with them? Absolutely. Yeah. So I mean, there’s so many. I mean,
the first person that comes to mind is one of my students, her name is Melissa, and she was a CPA. And when she got started in her business, she wanted to get more visibility. And so she ended up joining my program. I mean, she wasn’t even a year in. And she was really bold. She was like, I wanna pitch myself to Forbes and become a contributor there.
So I’m like, yes, let me help you. And so I gave her the name of the contributor and she sent, you know, a pitch. And basically when you’re pitching a place like Forbes, you have to share like what is your beat, which basically means what is your expert topic and swim lane that everything’s gonna be focused on. And then come up with like a series of stories that you could write about.
And so she actually got selected and she has a really popular Forbes column. She writes several articles a month. She has even interviewed people like Susie Orman and Amy Porterfield. And this led to a book deal That’s so cool. And so, so many things came from that, right? That column really helped elevate her brand and helped her connect with, you know,
interesting people. It helped her with her own visibility in terms of getting into other people’s masterminds as a guest speaker and podcasts and things like that. So it really was a game changer. That’s So cool. Yeah. I love that. Okay, so for you listening, I really want you to hear this. Okay. The difference between someone who gets out there and gets visibility and you is just largely that they learned how to do it and then they did it.
It’s not because they’re smarter, it’s not because they have better expect expertise. It’s not because they’re prettier, it’s not because they’re special. They just learn from someone like, like Selena and then they did something about it. So I really want you to get that. Like, if you see people with high visibility and you desire that you can have it,
you just have to learn how, and you can totally do this. This is not rocket science. So I, I want people to really get that. ’cause I think that we can have a tendency to separate ourselves and be like, absolutely. That’s for those people. Yeah. And those people are not me. And like you said, if you have a gift,
if you have an expertise that could change somebody’s life, possibly save somebody’s life. Yes. Who are we to be sitting around feeling not special. Like it’s, it’s, it’s such a waste. It’s not About that. Yeah. It’s not about that. It’s not about us. Yeah. Yeah. So what is your, like what is your vision for your life these days?
’cause I’ve seen you evolve your business model in beautiful ways. I’ve seen you like really stay ahead of the curve, change things up. So great. And like, I wanna know like what are you excited about these days? What are you working on? What do you see for yourself that’s next? Yeah, I mean, I just feel like the most important thing is to really embody your message and create your richest life.
And a part of that is just like really knowing yourself so extremely well. And so I feel like, you know, in the business world, there’s a lot of pressure sometimes time to do things a certain way. You know, there are people that say like, you should sell like super high ticket, like a hundred thousand dollars offers, or you should do some big in-person live event or this and that.
And there’s a lot of things that people say like I should do that just doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t really resonate. You know, I’m someone that’s like a minimalist like you, so I don’t like a lot of physical stuff, you know, and people are always like, oh, you know, you should have like swag and you should have this and that.
And I just like, don’t like it. Like when I get things I don’t want, I just like toss them or give them away. Yeah. But I think that you have to like really like almost fight to like be your authentic self. And so right now in my business, like I feel like all of my offers, like they just feel so aligned.
I have an amazing team that I really love. For me, I don’t feel like I need to be the person that is like the only star in my business. I’m all about elevating all kinds of people, elevating my coaches, helping them build their brands and their names. Elevating my team members, giving them shout outs even if they’re typically behind the scenes.
And I think that it’s also exciting for the people that work with us, that they know that there’s like a whole team behind them. So that’s something that I really enjoy. And then just also like really cultivating, you know, a personal life that I love. I have an amazing best friend and it’s just so fun to do life together with her.
We actually, when we first met, she was married and she ended up getting divorced and she ended up moving to the apartment complex that I live in. So I can literally wave to her from my apartment building. We do breakfast, lunch, and dinner most days. So it’s really fun to like do life with her. And yeah. And also just like,
you know, cultivate, you know, fi fi find my real love of my life, not the, the crazy ex-boyfriend. So I think just like living my best life, enjoying myself feeling relaxed and peaceful and safe in my business and personal life. Like that’s really what it means to be rich to me. Hmm. I so love that. So I know you’ve created a really special gift for our community.
Yes. So can you talk about what that is? Yeah, absolutely. So what I’ve been sharing with people is that it’s so important to have the right story idea to pitch the media because you know, they’re looking for story ideas every day, you know, from new experts. But a lot of times people don’t know what to share. What would they be interested in?
So something that the media is really interested in is timely and relevant angles. And the thing is, every single month there’s different types of story ideas that they’re looking for, depending on the season, what’s happening in the world. And so I’ve created my 12 month publicity calendar and it has 40 pages here. It’s, yeah, It’s so gorgeous. It’s so gorgeous.
I love it. Yeah. It’s 40 pages worth of store ideas. Look at this special dates and hooks to get into the media. Amazing. So if people wanna get more publicity, they’ll definitely want to read this. And it can also help you plan out your social media content calendar, your newsletter, content calendar. So I’ve had all kinds of entrepreneurs from those just getting started to six figure seven figure,
even eight figure entrepreneurs download this resource, use it as a planning tool inside their business. There are a lot of people that sell calendars like this, but I’m actually giving away for free. And so if people want it, they can go to impacting millions.com/kate to get their 12 month publicity calendar. I mean, you better believe I’m gonna be using that to plan some of my newsletter content.
Yay. You know, I have a million ideas all the time. I, I, I never tire of ideas, but ever that’s part of my problem. However, yeah, sometimes it’s really nice to flip through, especially when somebody’s brain works very differently than mine, which yours does. Yeah. And I appreciate that about you. So it’s just very generous.
Thank you for putting this together. I’ve used it in years past and found it really helpful. So everybody go to impacting millions.com/kate and grab that. And if folks wanna connect with you, of course we’re gonna link in this show notes to your medium piece about your relationship. Where else can people find you to find out more? Yeah, The best place to find me is on Instagram.
So they can go to Selena Sue, S-E-L-E-N, ACO, SOO. And they can let me know that they found me through your podcast. And actually if they type the word Kate, they send me the word Kate. They’ll also get the publicity calendar sent to them as well. Just like magic. Look at you All set up and ready. That’s amazing.
That’s amazing. Also, if you wanna learn about being well prepared, follow Selena. I love it. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for this conversation. Thank you for the wor your work in the world. I really appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening into this episode with Selena. I just find that she has the most graceful,
methodical, smart approach to publicity, building relationships, and building a business. I personally have learned so much from her around getting visibility and increasing my impact through publicity. So I highly recommend that you follow along, that you go grab that publicity calendar, impacting millions.com/kate. And if you found this episode helpful, take the link and text it to a friend,
share it on social media. If you’re enjoying plenty, please leave us a review, subscribe, rate the show, and I cannot wait to see you on the next episode.