Stop trying to be confident and do this instead: Glimpse TV with Tara Mohr

bookcover2About a month before our wedding I got a book in the mail with a beautiful brunette on the cover.

I get a steady stream of books to review, and sometimes I do so in a timely manner. And other times not so much.

Technically, I didn’t have “time”to be diving into a new book. I had so much to do — prepare for the wedding, wrap up business so that I could take time off after the wedding — reviewing a book wasn’t really on my priority list.

This one, though, called to me more than the others. The title, Playing Big, whispered to me from my coffee table until finally I picked it up a few days after it arrived.

I was hooked after the first few pages. I spent mornings in June sitting on our deck eating my breakfast, alternating between underlining poignant passages and dabbing my eyes as tears of recognition pooled.

Regardless of how busyI was, I knew I needed to make time for Playing Big and make time I did.

Within the first chapter I had a running list of women in my life who needed this book (including me!). The way that author Tara Mohr describes the subtle and insidious ways that we as women, especially sophisticated women, play small made me want to stand up and shout:

“Yes! That is SO TRUE!”

Here’s what I love about this book: It’s not just theoretical. Tara offers really smart, practical advice for playing bigger in our lives.

And in case you get tired just thinking about playing big, it doesn’t have to be what you think.

Tara defines it like this:

twitter_standingPlaying big is being more loyal to your dreams than to your fears. (Tweet it)

Um, yes please! I’ll have some of that. You with me?

If you find yourself racked by fear, self doubt, and a persistent feeling that there has to be more than this, this is your book.

I recently had a chat with Tara on Glimpse TV about her new book and what playing big really means for women today. I was so nourished by our conversation. Today I’m sharing it with you, knowing that you’ll find Tara’s words as resonant as I have.

In today’s episode of Glimpse TV Tara and I talk about:

  • What to do when you wake up and realize your life is happening right now, but you’re not sure you’re actually living it
  • What fear and self doubt have in common with chronic illness and how to manage them
  • Three specific and sophisticated ways that you’re likely playing small that you’re unaware of
  • How to define your own version of playing big that’s energizing rather than exhausting
  • Why you actually don’t have to have confidence to play big
  • The type of fear that’s actually helpful for you and how to identify and work with it
  • Why you don’t need a mentor and who to seek out instead

Click below to watch the episode so that you can uncover ways youre playing small so you can cut it out ASAP!

When you order Tara’s brilliant book before October 13th, you’ll get immediate access to three bonus videos that will help you identify your calling, incorporate some Playing Big strategies in your every day communications, and more before your book even arrives.

Plus, you’ll get access to two live Q+A calls of coaching and deep dives into Playing Big directly with Tara.

Click HERE to get your book and learn more. 3_bloggerpromo_minimal3

Over to you:

Which of the ways that smart women tend to play small feels most familiar to you? What’s one specific way you’re ready to start playing bigger in your life? Leave a comment below. Tara and I would love to hear from you!

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12 comments

  • I never noticed how often I use the word *just* in letters and emails, and how it diminishes myself and my message. I’ll be much more conscious of that in the future!

    Can’t wait to start reading this book!

  • Emily

    You are on a roll Kate Northrup! I just pre-ordered this book based on your fantastic interview and particularly on your high, high praise. I’m so excited to receive it and the special goodies I’ve just signed up for too!

    And, based on your last interview, a group of four friends and I had our first Sacred Success book group tonight to really delve into that Kate-Northrup approved book!

    I have broken my rule on over-ordering (books being my weakness)- ahhh! I blame and thank you at the same time.

    Truly, many, many thanks for all the amazing information you are bringing to light and presenting so joyfully to us!

  • Amanda

    Wow I seriously play small in all 3 of those ways! Great wake up call, for something deep down I already knew like you said Kate. Definitely will read this book and start playing BIG :) thank you thank you, much love to you both!

  • Loved this blog and episode! One of the specific ways that I have played small is definitely the “this and then that” syndrome. Though I actually resonated with pretty much every example Tara gave in this episode. So insightful. I have to say I found this episode so validating and affirming because I actually feel like I’ve instinctively started to play bigger recently, and I loved the descriptions of the different types of fear and that second one having to do with taking up more space. Moving back to NYC and starting to go out on auditions right away without getting new headshots or having an apartment, etc. — this was all breaking old patterns of playing small in my life. Another way I am ready to start playing even bigger? Writing more regularly and sharing my writing and viewpoints via a blog and/or through the cabaret show I’m writing. But definitely it’s feeling like it’s time for me to share my viewpoints in a bigger, more public way, even in parallel to pursuing my acting career.

  • Thank you so much for sharing! So much of what’s been said in this interview resonates with me and I’m definitely getting the book and starting to play big :)

  • I didn’t even finish listening to the interview and I knew this book was for me. Thanks Kate for this interview and your email letting me know about Tara.

  • Um, all of the above!!
    Thank you Kate for introducing us to Tara, and thank you Tara for calling us so pointedly on our BS.
    Luckily, I learned early on that collecting grad degrees and more debt, especially in the humanities, was not going to serve me. But I am dragging that wet, stinky blanket feeling of “not qualified”…
    Curating/collecting other voices, check. Hello, compulsive blogging and retweeting.
    This, then that, then that– infinitely backing up my timeline to never getting started– I’m in the throes of this with my current business planning…
    I am proud to say that I have started assembling a team of professional “aunties”, rather than mentors, and I’m still working out how to activate them and muster up the ovaries to ask for help.
    Onward!

  • Wow. Thank you so much for this, Kate! When Tara listed the three ways women often play small, I laughed out loud. She could have been describing me! I ordered the book immediately and can’t wait to read it.

  • It would be supra cool to write the content for us to tweet in lower cases instead of capital letters so we can just copy it and add the twitter handles and tags. Capital letters do not work for a long tweet I think. And it would great to add your tag too so it is there already ;-)
    I got great insights from Tara Sophia in the past, thank you so much.
    KHenthusiasm

    • Kate

      Karine – if you just click the Tweet it will automatically create the Tweet for you in lowercase with my handle. Try that!

  • […] I also found Tara Mohr’s book Playing Big: Practical Wisdom For Women Who Want To Speak Up, Create, And Lead tremendously smart and helpful for upping my game. I was shocked by the insidious ways we as women specifically play small that we don’t even know we’re doing. The book is eye-opening. (I interviewed Tara about the book for Glimpse TV. Check out the interview here.) […]

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