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Online Marketing Strategies: Using Orgasm as a Model for Launching in a Feminine Way

Online Marketing Strategies: Using Orgasm as Model for Launching in a Feminine Way

How Female Entrepreneurs and People Who Want to Align With Feminine Energy Can Make Business Easy (or at Least Easier)

“Launching in the online world is just like the male orgasm…push, push, push, push….explode!”

I was talking with a colleague about the benefits of keeping your offerings on evergreen versus the live launch model, and that’s what came out of my mouth.

What if we launched like we were riding the wave of the most delicious multi-orgasmic experience that someone with a vulva was having instead of someone with a penis?

I have nothing against penises. It’s just that the world has been run by and for people who have them for too long.

It’s time for a refreshing new take on a lot of things, IMHO.

One of them is launching.

Here’s what I learned from the online marketing veterans about launching:

Do as many things as possible with as much energy as possible for as long as possible, and push really hard so you can get the best results possible.

I’ve done launches like that.

And you know what?

Sometimes they’ve worked. And sometimes they haven’t.

But 100% of the time I’ve crossed the finish line and collapsed (physically, emotionally or energetically), felt disillusioned and disconnected with my business, and said “never again.”

And for the launches where we did all.the.things and they tanked, I’ve wondered: What am I doing all of this stuff for anyway?

And for the ones where we hit or exceeded our goals, I’ve wondered: Is all of the pushing, anxiety, caffeine, snacking, and exhaustion worth it?

Here’s what I know:

HOW we do things matters just as much, if not more, than WHAT we do.

The how matters to the results, but it also matters to our wellbeing.

It turns out our wellbeing matters the most. (You don’t have to go through a long-term illness or have someone you care about go through one more than once to get clear on this.)

The old model where we sacrifice our wellbeing at the altar of “success” needs to go. 

And in its place we need to plant seeds of:

  • Well-tended bodies that business owners live inside, relations relationships within and without companies
  • Relationality instead of transactionality with our teams, our customers, and our businesses themselves (a nod to Nisha Moodley for inspiring me with her insights on this)
  • Business practices that feel good in addition to being effective
  • Alignment with nature itself as our guide to the most regenerative abundance possible (a reminder that this is not outside of us—we are nature)

I will be 100% transparent with you and tell you this:

I have not entirely figured out how to do this yet.

But I’m 100% committed to doing so and sharing the best of what I figure out with you along the way.

Today, I shall leave you with the question I’m pondering, so we can ponder together:

What would a business model based on the orgasmic experience of someone with a vulva instead of someone with a penis look like?

Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts!


  • I loved this insight Kate.
    I have never launched a program but have seen others push so hard only to be left mentally drained and exhausted. My outsider perspective is I would never want to do that, as it’s not in alignment with how I am desiring to do life in a slower more authentic way. Not sure what the alternative is but slower, and more authentic, more connected and intimate-I enjoy the process just as much as the finish😉

  • This is so refreshing! And how energizing an orgasm IS!! Makes me laugh to think how the male orgasm so tends to make people collapse afterwards. So different. I’ll ponder this too…

  • I love this! There would be lots of foreplay and it would be drawn out over time. Building those relationships in a nurturing and tender, yet also playful and fun way. It would be getting to know what your community truly wants and offering them that from a space of mutual pleasure. The orgasm would be the natural climax of energies coming together in celebration of what is being created.

  • There’s foreplay, friendship, connection.
    There’s love
    There’s fun, teasing, playfulness.
    There’s giggles and joy
    There’s abundance and stamina
    It’s active and healthy and doing it makes you healthier
    There’s caressing and build up that feels delicious and you want it to last forever.
    It lasts a wonderfully long time and then when it comes, you feel even more connected, and you just want to hug, snuggle in, maybe fall asleep and then wake up and do it all over again.

  • jo neill

    “I have nothing against penises. It’s just that the world has been run by and for people who have them for too long.”


    Thank you Kate for making me laugh this morning, giving me a fabulous quote for my bullet journal and inspiring more thought about how to do life in a better way.

  • It would feel tender & soft, welcoming not persuasive, loving, kind, and allow for both gentle inquiry and rushed enthusiasm. An allowance, not a requirement/stifled commitments, fluidity. And when enthusiasm or desire amped, it would still have zero expectation but rather an unfolding in the movement to moment needs & wants for the humans engaged in the process.
    Wow, that felt effortless to write!! I can feel how different, opposing and yet completely refreshing this is 🧡
    Love this exploration. Thank you Kate.

    • Kate Northrup

      Wow – I love what you wrote. Make sure you write that down somewhere that you can see it regularly to help you steer your business by!

  • It would be a relationship you would want more of! Getting your needs met in a way that allows space to enjoy each moment, just getting sweeter as it grows! I would want to do that ALL day!!!!

  • Well if your aiming for business like orgasms the first thing to know there are vastly different orgasms coming from multiple places…. no two bodies are the same and just because it worked one way to have that amazing orgasms it doesn’t mean it will happen again…..

    There is no co district in a female orgasm…. you can have vulva ones, cervixal, gspot, vaginal, anal, blended, ejaculating, crygasms, eargasms, throatgasms….. the entire body is one great big minefield of orgasms waiting to be released!

    So not sure you could entirely run a business fueled by orgasms alone…. sometimes a penis, or fingers, or a tongue help provide direction for that orgasmic energy to be released…. but it’s a wild ride…. of waves, peaks and valleys, explosions and quivers…. it’s like expect the unexpected every time and you’ll always be surprised!

    • Kate Northrup

      Yes – it’s so true that this is a rich, and complex topic and one that can’t be easily used as a facsimile for business. But I think the metaphor is worth exploring!

  • Jenna

    Intriguing for sure. I actually went further and thought about how sometimes you have to shake things up to get back to orgasm. You know – after you’ve launched and then run your business day in and day out. That’s fun to think about too – and freeing in a way. Loving the posts lately Kate!

  • What an incredibly liberating way to describe the business world as we know it and how we can flip the script… the female (business) orgasm requires much more tenderness, playfulness & teasing, acts of service, kindness, respect, support (emotionally, physically, spiritually…), healthy communication, intimacy & safety…

    Thinking about how *many* (not all) women connect with their audiences, it’s slow & organic, careful & thoughtful. It’s simply *different* for a woman. When it’s done right, the effects are way more pleasurable and last longer than if we were to model our businesses/launches after the male orgasm.

    Thank you for presenting this metaphor! Clearly there are many different avenues we could explore this concept. It’s actually an incredible continuation of “Do Less” because it’s time we honor what it truly means to be a woman… As we’re well-aware now, it’s exhausting for a woman to insert herself into the existing male-modeled business world.

    *I love the idea of a launch journey to span days & weeks, to be dynamic and lasting, rather than the all-of-a-sudden & overwhelmingly stressful. Instead, let’s play!*

    As a new creative entrepreneur, I feel far less intimidated being a woman when I consider the female orgasm as a way to success. Finally, a breath of fresh air & energizing approach to put into practice!

    I can’t wait to see what further clarity comes from this model. Cheers to less force, and more tender fluidity & flow ❤️

  • Tay

    I’ve been feeling this way for so long without knowing how to articulate it! You are a freaking rockstar, thank you so much for sharing and being a constant source of delicious, aligned, intuitive influence!

  • Hi Kate – As a sexologist, this is a very interesting and relevant comparsion! Orgasmic energy is indeed creative – after all, it can lead to the creation of life itself. However, I’d also like to offer a reframe – this “push push push as hard as you can” isn’t exactly healthy for men either.
    Men who take this approach to sex typically do an orgasm, but it isn’t nearly as pleasurable as one where they enjoy the journey along the way. Yet, I’d definitely agree this energy is how we’ve all been taught to do pretty much everything (it’s how I got through grad school… and ended up suicidal after getting my PhD).

    While a lot of feminist theory frames this as the inherent definition of masculinity itself (which I spent a ton of time reading about as a Women’s Studies minor), instead, I’d suggest this approach is a very unhealthy masculine approach, that we’ve ALL taken on. While men may have an easier time with it, it isn’t healthy for anyone.

    We all have a mix of masculine and feminine energy, and when we (whatever gender we are) harness both appropriately, we are much more powerful, in alignment with ourselves, and will enjoy the journey as much as the destination :)

    Thanks for the post!

    • Kate Northrup

      I totally agree. There are healthy and unhealthy expressions of both the masculine and feminine in people of all gender identities. And the push push push explode model is the unhealthy masculine in all of us!

  • Katie Riley

    Hey Kate!

    Long time no see! Hope you all are getting settled in your new spot. I guess I don’t have your email any longer or I would have sent this privately. I wanted to check in because I saw this post and it felt a lot like the thinking in adrienne marie brown’s Pleasure Activism. I know you appreciate her work and I wonder if you’d thought about the similarities here. I know you are someone who cares about racial justice and I’m betting you’d agree with me that as white women it’s so important that we pay meticulous attention to the antiracist/anti-colonialist practices of attribution and citing the foundations of our work and our thinking. People of color, and Black women in particular, have experienced unimaginable intellectual (and many other brutal kinds of) theft at the hands of white people and paying close attention to our own settler mentality is the least we can do to start the work of decolonizing our own minds and begin to steer that legacy in a less violent direction. Best to Mike and your babes!

    • Kate Northrup

      Hey Katie – great to hear from you! Yes – I do know adrienne maree brown’s work – she’s one of my favorite writers. I haven’t actually read Pleasure Activism other than the first chapter or two but I quote Emergent Strategy all the time. I absolutely agree that citing our sources is critical and holds extra importance when it comes to Women of Color, in particular Black women. (I did a whole IG live with my friend Titilayo talking about a time when I screwed this up as it related to her and her work and the intersections with my work in case you’re interested: This particular thought came to me in conversation with another woman spontaneously and wasn’t connected to reading anyone else’s work (haven’t picked up Pleasure Activism in over a year) but I so appreciate your attention on this as I’m always double checking to make sure I note the lineage of what I’m sharing. (I wrote about that here and, as synchronicity would have it, quoted adrienne maree brown as the source for this particular line of thought:

  • Wow, Kate! You have opened up an amazing conversation. I think you are a creative genius! I can’t wait to see what comes next.

  • Thank you so much for this question Kate I’ve been struggling this last weeks in launch mode for three weeks now and I feel some dose of exhaustion to know that I have to continue for at least two other weeks !!
    I can so much relate with what you say but I can also see how I actually started to do it more in the feminine way because I just couldn’t stand to continue doing it in the pushing mode !
    That’s why I feel a little exhausted but not so much. I am really exploring a new way to do this and in a transition and learning phase as far as launch is concerned. for me that meant taking more time with my potential clients to listen to them and really get in touch with their real needs it took me more time and I have less people that I expected but I felt so energized when we started the program two days ago for me it’s just about finding a Way to keep the balance between getting so close to the clients and still getting numbers !!

    • Kate Northrup

      It’s a continued dance, isn’t it Odile? I’m so sorry you’re so exhausted but I do know we can find a better way. I’m committed to researching and learning and teaching what I learn so stick around!

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