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We need each other.

There’s a lot of talk in the self-actualization space about masculine energy and feminine energy. When I first heard about this concept I got very tied up in worrying about which one I was using and whether or not I was doing it “right.”

Most of the time I felt like I was doing it wrong.

I’d determined that, like most achievement-oriented women raised in the Western world, I’d been running my life primarily from my masculine energy.

The focus on goals, external gratification, going out and getting things done, pushing through to make it happen, results rather than feelings — these are typically masculine energy actions. They’re also quite celebrated in our culture.

I wasn’t as well versed in the feminine energy actions like resting, listening internally for what was needed, slowing down, receiving, and allowing.

As I became aware of the difference between the two I found myself getting very black and white about which to use when. I also found myself getting very judgmental about my masculine energy. When I noticed I was operating from my masculine, I had a knee-jerk reaction that I was “doing it wrong.”

Running a business with my husband, Mike, has taught me a lot more about the balance of masculine and feminine energy than trying to wrangle a structured to do list from my freethinking feminine energy while working alone.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize:

Masculine energy is not better than feminine energy. Feminine energy is not better than masculine energy. We all need some of both. We all contain some of both. Different needs call for different approaches.

And the best part is masculine and feminine energy serve one another. They’re the perfect complements.

Mike and I have this thing that we do where, when I’m muddling through a challenge, I ask him if he’ll listen to me. He sits there and looks at me intently while I clean out all the nooks and crannies of my psyche out loud.

Sometimes I feel neurotic and like I’m not making any sense. But usually during the course of my verbal meanderings something clicks and I hit on something that would not have been crystallized if I’d kept my thoughts to myself.

Then, I ask Mike, “So what do you think?” and he usually replies, “About what?” because I’ve usually been monologuing for at least five minutes at this point without coming up for air.

“About anything I just said,” I reply.

“It sounds great. I love you,” he says.

My feminine chaos requires a witness in order to funnel into coherent thoughts that can be manifested into reality. Mike’s masculine energy container provides the perfect witness.

Structure craves chaos.

Waves have a tendency to crash against the rocks.

Mayhem desires a safe place to land.

twitter_standingDiscipline serves freedom. (Click to tweet)

If I sat around thinking all the time and never let my ruminations get out for a little air outside the confines of my head, I’d make myself crazy. And the delicious swirling of inspiration would never actually become anything more than a fleeting thought or an ongoing obsession.

We all need to be witnessed.

We all need to let our chaos be seen.

The feminine in each of us (whether we’re male or female) needs the masculine to contain and make manifest.

The masculine in each of us needs the feminine to spark, inspire, and occasionally overflow our edges so we don’t get complacent.

How we do things matters just as much as what we’re actually doing. (In fact, sometimes it matters even more.)

If you’re feeling burned out in your business, chances are good you could use a sprinkle or five of the feminine.

If you’re finding it hard to get traction on building your client base or making a profit, a few shakes of the masculine would do you well.

The mixture will change from day to day and there are signs you can look for to know how to change what you’re doing to get more fruitful results.

And guess what?

More often than not, working harder or longer hours is usually not the most effective solution.

Isn’t that a relief?

We’ll give you tools and strategies to learn what the most effective solutions are and how to course correct so that your business ship doesn’t end up in burnout land or flailing-ville.

It’s not about black and white thinking where you need to be all one way all the time or all another way all the time.

Remember: freedom thrives with structure. The feminine thrives with the masculine. Productivity thrives when coupled with rest.

It’s not about balance per se. It’s about knowing the right recipe at any given moment.

 

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2 comments

  • […] 6. HEART-CENTERED CULTURE: Speaking of service, it was incredible how all of the presenters had one thing in common: they talked about leading, growing, & living from the heart. Yes, we all have concrete goals and plans and certain things we want to achieve in life. But I loved how the conversation of almost 10,000 people was really more focused on FEELINGS. Yep, emotions and feelings and being heart-centered. It’s the ultimate combination of feminine and masculine energies. Like my friend Kate Northrup says, “Freedom thrives with structure. The feminine thrives with the masculine. Productivity thrives… […]

  • This blog is very well said, well written, and is a nice explanation of that masculine/feminine energy that runs through us all. Ahhhh…YES to that balance, expression, and acceptance are all at a dance as we live our gorgeous & free life. Thank you, Kate!

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