There’s been something I’ve been worried about since my first daughter was born.

The good news is that all of a sudden, thanks to a new bestselling book that’s sparked a national (and somewhat global) overdue conversation, everyone else seems to be worried about it, too.

So, now I’m not so worried because I don’t feel so alone.

The object of my maternal worry?

My kids and tech.

But more specifically, my kids and how tech wires their brains and nervous systems in ways that aren’t good for their long-term mental and physical wellbeing.

And even more specifically?

The significant data linking kids and their tech use (predominantly social media) to an alarming decline in mental health.

Today I’m coming to you with what we’re doing to prevent our kids’ brains and nervous systems from getting hijacked by tech and why I’m feeling more hopeful than ever!

Even as recently as a year ago, I felt way more fringey in my efforts to preserve my kids’ wiring and support its healthy development.

Per usual for us around a lot of different choices, it felt like our family was more of an exception in terms of our predominantly tech-free child rearing.

For context, here’s our current tech sitch:

Our kids don’t have any devices of their own. They’re 6, heading into 1st grade, and 8, heading into 3rd grade. We have one iPad in the house that they can only use with permission to listen to Spotify Kids, FaceTime their grandparents, or watch the occasional directed drawing or craft tutorial on YouTube. They usually use the iPad 1-2X per week.

They usually watch a movie on weekend days – often with us – and sometimes watch a show on weekends after quiet time. Sometimes on Sunday mornings we also watch Mark Rober or Simone Giertz on YouTube as a family.

They don’t use my phone other than to take the occasional picture and if they’re listening to Spotify on their iPad they put it on airplane mode once they’ve curated their playlist. (They also have an old-school CD player and they love listening to entire albums like back in the day.)

When we’re on airplanes, they can watch as many movies or shows as they want. It’s a screen-time free for all and I love that for me because I get to read.

I’m also becoming a stickler about making sure the slider door is cracked in the living room while they’re watching TV to diminish the impact of the blue light on their circadian rhythms and we’re gonna get them blue light-blocking glasses for when they’re watching TV or on screens.

Ok…so why am I all of a sudden feeling more chill about my kids and their future with tech?

Because, thanks to Jonathan Haidt’s NY Times Bestseller, The Anxious Generation, the great rewiring of childhood is on the national stage conversationally.

The Atlantic ran a poignant adaptation from the book entitled End The Phone-Based Childhood Now. Podcasts from Dr. Becky, Huberman Labs, Joe Rogan, to Honestly with Bari Weiss are featuring the conversation about it. Hoda and Jenna are talking about it on The Today Show and Chip and Joanna Gaines are also chiming in.

My fear was that I’d have to spend my kids’ tween and adolescent years battling with them because they’d be the only ones without smartphones and social media specifically.

I was putting a lot of energy into trying to find communities and schools where the parents already had the agreement in place that their kids wouldn’t have smartphones and social media until mid to late high school.

Now that kids and smartphones and social media are officially a mainstream conversation, I don’t feel so fringy anymore. I don’t feel like I’m gonna have to get the side eye from the mom chat for yet another odd choice our family is making (how is it that it’s still unusual to not want candy brought into school and to try to avoid the known harms of artificial food dye?)

Now everyone’s talking about it so I don’t feel like the weirdo anymore. It’s a big relief, I gotta say.

I recorded a solo episode all about:

• the data around kids, smartphones, social media, and the disturbing mental health impacts of the aforementioned
• what our family is doing
• what the recommendations are from Jonathan Haidt
• what tech does to the nervous system
• how I’m rallying our community to support healthy development in their kids
• some resources that I’ve found for navigating kids and tech

You can listen here

Bottom line: I’m really grateful so many people are waking up around the way tech rewires our kids.

It feels so good to not feel so lonely or fringy anymore and to know that families setting boundaries around their kids and phones and social media is likely going to be more and more the norm so it may not end up being such a battleground issue for us all.

Yay for things that used to make us anxious that don’t so much anymore.

Xo
Kate