I was stumped.

I’d always had a clear vision of what I wanted: a beautiful house on the ocean in Maine, an adorable (and adoring) husband, plenty of space to host friends and family, and dogs and babies running around. Plus, of course, the financial freedom to support it all so my (adoring) husband and I could be there to enjoy it.

The financial freedom part was seemingly on track; however, the search for this incredible would-be hubby was a failure! I was in my early twenties and my desire to meet the man of my dreams was so clear I could taste it. Every time I talked about it or wrote about it tears stung the backs of my eyes — or flowed right out, depending on the time of the month.

Why don’t I have what I want yet?

This is the question that pestered me as I sat in the front row just to the right of the aisle in a room filled with ebullient women dressed in their “Beach Goddess” best. We were in Miami spending a weekend dedicated to learning about how to get more out of life through the deliberate pursuit of fun and pleasure.

But instead of pleasure, I just felt impatient. I wanted my future NOW. I wanted to meet my husband NOW. Every date I went on was consumed by the question, “Are you HIM?”

So I raised my hand. And the mistress of ceremonies, Mama Gena, aka my very dear friend Regena Thomashauer, called on me.

In a choked-up voice I told her my desire. I shared how impatient I felt. I shared that I understood how to get what I wanted in other areas of my life: you can always exercise more, eat less, make more sales calls, write more blog posts, clean out your closets, ask for referrals… But when it came to finding my husband, I had no idea what do to. What was the action plan? As a get-‘er-done kind of gal, I was lost.

Regena’s reply?

“Because you have such a clear desire, know that it is already guaranteed. I’ll be sitting on your front porch with you in just a few years, and your hot hubby will be flipping flapjacks in the kitchen. And we’ll be reminiscing on these very years leading up to the manifestation of your desire.”

“Your desire is in the bag.”

“So, now that you know that, how are you going to enjoy this precious time leading up to it? Your days as a single woman are numbered. Leave no stone unturned. Live it up. Fully be in your life now, as a happy woman. Live it up like you mean it.”

It was an alchemical moment.

My question to Regena mixed with her wisdom mixed with the magic of the community of women cheering one another on resulted in a golden change of perspective and intention.

A couple of years later, as I debated whether or not to invite this guy I barely knew to drive across the country with me on the first leg of The Freedom Tour, Regena’s words rang in my ear:

Leave no stone unturned. Live it up like you mean it.

So invite I did. I wasn’t thinking, “Is he my husband?” I wasn’t thinking, “What’s going to happen? Are we going to date? Will he kiss me?” Nope.

I was just thinking, “I have a gut feeling to invite this somewhat random guy to drive across the country with me. He seems really fun and really capable. Plus he has these really great arms. I shall follow my instinct and invite him.”

Luckily, he said yes. And, wouldn’t you know it, he was, in fact, my husband.

twitter_standingWhat would you do today if you knew your desire was already in the bag? (Tweet it.) 

Ready for a little alchemical magic in your life?

There is something transcendent that happens when a group of people gather in the name of fulfilling their desires.

Transmissions occur that wouldn’t have been possible one on one, in writing, or in thought.

Connections transpire that never would have had people not come together, in the flesh, to consciously pursue their dreams.

That’s what I experienced that weekend in Miami with Mama Gena and the sisterhood gathered there. I got a piece of information that was critical to the unfolding of the next chapter of my life.

 

Over to you:

What would you do if you knew that what you desire is absolutely on its way? How would you live life differently? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

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31 comments

  • What would I do if I knew that what I desire is absolutely on it’s way?

    I would do what I declare now – as I absolutely know my desires are on their way:

    Be expressive and authentic with everyone about my feelings and love for them – holding nothing back!
    Spend time on creating my vision!
    Spend time on the relationships with the people I care for the most!
    Sleep restfully at night!
    Spend plenty of time in grateful reflection – saying thank you to the Universe and listening for guidance!

    Love,

    Azul

  • Mike Watts

    I guess I better start preparing those flapjacks.

  • Thank you Kate!

    I’ve been getting this message from several places lately- and your post felt as if it were written just for ME. Everything you felt is exactly what I’m feeling right now. And seeing what you have with Mike- makes me realize that what I want is possible and WILL happen. (Plus you two are seriously the cutest thing ever- your happiness is contagious!)

    Knowing it’s in the bag- I’m not going to obsess about the how and when and how I can MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

  • It feels good to read the blog as always.
    At times I have this strong feeling (which I know is my ego) saying You gonna be single all life.

    I am able to overcome it every now and then and take things as they go. Trying to be happy and smile the way you do everyday. Worst is handling all my single gfs :(((

    Stopped asking myself is it him and driving mysely crazy

  • Wow! Inspiring questions you’ve asked, Kate.

    Because I would worry less, I would continue to hone my craft as a singer, take the risk without hesitation, travel the world, and eat more delicious food! And in living life differently, I would remember as often as possible that everything happens for a reason and when and how it wants to–not when and how I want it to.

    Thank you for such an inspiring post! Your lessons are gifts to me.

    LOVE,
    Pagnia

  • Perfect timing as usual with your blog post. And I love Regena’s comments to you at the “Beach Goddess” convention. Miami is truly magical. Way to follow your pleasure and more.

  • What a beautiful story, Kate! When you got to Mama Gena’s answer for you I had goosebumps all over my body. (Also at the end.) Right now I’m in the middle of some uncertainties, waiting for the perfect house to be available for us to finally move cross-country to where we’ve been dreaming of living. The house is absolutely perfect but, of course, there’s some waiting involved.

    A few days ago I came at the same realization: It’s so perfect it feels like it’s been made for me. My desire is crystal clear, so if it’s not going to be this house, there’s going to be another, a better one. So I might as well just relax and enjoy the time that I’m still on the East Coast.

    But every once in a while doubt and impatience creeps in and I just want to say “why isn’t it miiiiine yet?” How did you deal with that? How do you just surrender and enjoy life without a single ounce of uncertainty about it? I’m curious to know what your experience was.

  • Thank you so much for sharing Kate! If I knew that what I desired was on it’s way – I would feel much more relaxed and at ease. Instead of constantly wondering will I have kids? Will it happen for me? and then the desire for financial freedom (to live life the way I’d like) – if I knew deep in my heart that it would happen…I would live life differently by not constantly worrying if I will get more clients, will more people enroll for my courses, but just enjoy each precious moment and trusting that it will happen instead of spending that time worrying.

    Sending you lots of lovingkindness Kate!
    Sita :)

  • mary

    What would you do if you knew that what you desire is absolutely on it’s way? How would you live life differently?

    1. Trust God
    2. Be patient
    3. Be present
    4. Have faith
    5. BELIEVE!!!
    I trust, have faith, have patience, and believe that husband is on his way very soon, one that will love me unconditionally, understand me, trust me, be loyal, respect me, listen, share, help me, ..I just don’t know when!!, but I KNOW he’s coming!!!!! God give me strength!!

  • What if we feel like we’ve already lived it up, done the things we wanted to do? What if we have no more bucket list? Or, worse, if our desire does have some sort of deadline? What then?

    • Kate

      I would recommend diving a little deeper into your desire. Give yourself permission to think beyond what you’ve already done. I bet you there are still some stones left unturned.

  • So timely Kate! I have been working on doing the inner work and healing since an abusive relationship ended a few years ago. I feel so filled up with love some days, I can’t wait to share it with someone and to dive deeper into that with a partner. Every night before I go to bed I say this affirmation: “The perfect partner is already selected. He is arriving in the right way at the right time. I am so grateful to receive him.”

    The other night when I was thanking God for my Beloved and saying I couldn’t wait to meet him, I heard this voice inside my head say “You are your beloved”

    Light and Love,

    Megyn

  • Kate

    I flipping love you Kate Northrup. This piece in particular lit me up. Thank you for what you send out to the world. Keep going! Much love, Kate. xxxx

  • I love this story! Such a great teaching moment then and now. So happy for your happiness.

  • sonja

    These writings just bother me a bit. I am 46 years old, have wanted to find my husband/partner/lover since forever as well, and here I am still finding only frogs. So one tends to get the feeling that the fault is ours, there is something wrong with us. I just don’t know. I watch my jackass of a neighbor have 3 wives and girlfriends in between and wonder why I can’t fine ONE person. Too picky? What is that? I should settle for a relationship that isn’t fulfilling? I am told I can have it all and so I believe it. But the universe doesn’t seem to move in my direction when it comes to love.

  • Beth

    Thank you for this. I only just recently started to voice my desire to meet “him”. I harbor a lot of shame around even just wanting to meet this man of my dreams. I witness some women being frantic and desperate around wanting the husband that will lead to the kids that will lead to the perfect life. I don’t want to be like that.
    It’s hard when you’re clear with what you want & do all the work to create that and yet, it’s still not the right time. It seems so easy to apply divine timing to all other areas of my life. I love the idea that my single days are numbered & this is my time to live it up! I will make that a new mantra! Again, thanks.

    • Kate

      I love that Beth! And it is so possible to have a strong desire and be living it up in the present moment at the same time. It’s paradoxically delicious!

  • Kate:
    I cannot wait to see you, although I feel as though I already know you…in October.
    I know that my Desires are manifesting. Now it is time, high time at that, to jump a bit farther, out of the comfort of my sandbox, and DREAM even bigger!
    Fly like an astronaut into the heavens and bring my friends along for the ride, with a picnic basket full of promise.
    Thanks! Paula

  • Kay

    Thank you, I need that!

  • Yes!! It is on its way! Clearing the junk and spending time in true focus of our desires and doing what we (hubby, kids and I) are being guided with is how we are living. Couldn’t feel more alive and connected!
    Congrats again! I feel your joy:)

  • […] And to that end, I’ll finish with a quick story I once read on Kate Northrup’s blog. […]

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