I’ve noticed the “GirlBoss/BossMom/Mompreneur” trend give way to a new one that I’m not into.

This new trend is subtle. So subtle that at first I thought maybe I was into it.

The pendulum often has to swing the other direction a little too far in order to slough off conditioning that’s not doing us any favors anymore.

So it makes sense that the traditionally male-dominated, hyper-masculine oriented business world needed a makeover and a bit of a rebrand as more and more women started businesses (and specifically online businesses in droves in the last decade.)

Hence the wave of the GirlBosses/BossMoms/Mompreneurs.

You know I’m here for infusing all aspects of our lives, especially those historically dominated by men and the masculine, with women and the feminine.

For me putting the words “Girl” “Babe” or “Mom” with the words “Boss” or “Entrepreneur” doesn’t feel right.

I love being a woman. I love the feminine aspects of me. I love being a mom.

And yet, for me, my roles as business leader and entrepreneur don’t need to be qualified with my parental status or gender identity.

However, if those words feel good to you…embrace them!

The thing is, the GirlBoss/BossMom/Mompreneur movement stemmed from the cultural programing that for generations told women they didn’t have worth outside birthing children, raising them, and keeping a home.

Women of my mom’s generation were raised by (and sometimes were) women who couldn’t even take out a line of credit in their own names. (By the way, that law wasn’t changed in the US in 1975.)

For women like my mom, if you wanted a non-traditionally female career, the option was to go out into the workplace and embody the masculine even better than you saw men doing it.

My generation took it a step further and wanted to give permission to overtly bring being a woman and aspects of the feminine into business. So here for it.

(Just because I don’t identify as a GirlBoss/BossMom/Mompreneur doesn’t mean I don’t agree with the inception of the movement.)

As a result, it seems what happened is some women who felt incredibly turned on by and fulfilled by raising kids and tending to a home may have felt like those aspirations weren’t enough. (They totally are, BTW.)

Here’s the trend I’m seeing that I’m not loving:

The pendulum of the “GirlBoss/BossMom/Mompreneur” is swinging the opposite direction.

I’m seeing more and more commentary pop up that’s tearing women (especially mothers) down for building a wider base of support so that they can pursue their business dreams.

Women who choose to build businesses while raising children are being subtly shamed for not cooking every one of their family’s meals, for not being the only body their babies cuddle, and for not raising all their own food in their own backyard.

There’s some insidious commentary on how the feminine can’t be present if we’re out earning our own money through building a business that’s not directly related to being a householder or mother.

It feels like the same mom-judgement-doll in a Little House in the Prairie inspired dress.

Here’s what I know to be true:

All of us are called to mother differently. All of us are called to build businesses and careers differently.

Making it our business to judge another woman for the way she chooses to do any of these things is just the same old thing:

Women taking each other down because we’ve been brainwashed by the patriarchy to fight amongst ourselves is simply a systematic means to ensure our power remains at bay.

If you want to wear a BarbieCon power suit and have a #BossBabe sign on your desk, do that!

If you want to wear a lot of linen, raise your own chickens, have calluses on the soles of your feet an inch thick, and make all the meals for your family from food you grew in your own garden, do that!

And if your aspirations fall somewhere in between, amazing.

When it comes to the way others choose to work and/or raise families, I think we need to keep our eyes on our own paper.

There are so many beautiful ways to have a career. There are so many beautiful ways to raise a family. There are so many beautiful ways to do both of those things at the same time, should you want to.

I don’t run my business like my friends. I don’t raise my kids like my friends. I don’t run my business or raise my kids like people I follow on the internet.

I do it like me.

If you’re in a season of stilettos and sequins, get it. If you’re in a season of sourdough and compost, soak it in.

Know this:

There’s no way we can know the truth of how someone else should live.

So if a Reel, meme, or carousel on the internet has you questioning your choices, but when you go inside and really check in, your choices feel really true for you, stick with them.

When we chip away at conditioning and let who we really are lead, we can dance to the beat of our own tambourine.

When we do, we tend to find that our customers, kids, clients, coworkers, or whoever else we interface with needed us to boogie in just that exact way to unlock their own, original rhythm.

Let’s reclaim any energy we’ve spent judging ourselves or anyone else for doing work or family wrong and reinvest it in being more of ourselves on all fronts.

Yours in ever-connected individuality,

Kate