I was texting with someone I deeply admire who’s been mega successful in her career (doing things that most people only dream of) and she shared something with me that made my eyes overflow instantaneously:

Her mom had died when she was really little, so even though she had a huge career, she said she never took time with her kids for granted.

She soaked up all the moments, knowing that she was getting to have something that her mom never got, and that she could give her kids something that she never got to have.

I don’t think it’s news to any parent that time with our kids is precious.

You might’ve seen the stat going around that 75% of the time we spend with our kids will be before they’re 12 and 90% will be before they’re 18. (I can’t find the source for this data so I don’t know if it’s exactly true but it feels pretty true.)

Some of us with big business ambitions might take this information as a reason to not pursue the dreams in our heart outside parenthood.

“I’m gonna miss so much precious time with my kids if I’m running a business! I can’t be a good mother and play full out in business at the same time. I’ve gotta choose.”

I had that tape running a lot in the early days of motherhood, particularly because I was raised by a mom who had a big career that wasn’t set up for extended time off or a ton of flexibility (the internet wasn’t a thing so being public required being away from our small town in Maine a lot more than my little heart liked).

But if there’s one thing I could go back in time and tell my pre-motherhood self (and share with folks feeling like they have to choose between their parenthood and business dreams), it would be this:

You will thrive in motherhood because of your business. You will thrive in business because you’re a mother.

Your dual vocations will nourish each other.

There are 4 specific ways that being a mother has helped me grow a 7-figure business, instead of hindered me in my career as I thought it might, and I thought I’d share them with you in case they’re helpful.

Here are the 4 ways being a mother has made me a better business owner:

1. Boundaries

There used to be a lot more grey area in terms of what I was and wasn’t available for in my life before I had kids. Let work squeak into the weekends? Sure, why not? Listen to my complainer friend’s most recent dating escapade (that’s identical to their last 10 relationships) for 90 minutes in the middle of my prime work hours? Ok. I’ve got all day, after all.

Once I had my first kid, though, it became instantly clear what and who I was available for and what and who I wasn’t. (Having a sick kid and postpartum challenges made my clarity even more powerful.)

My former people-pleasing self suddenly had no qualms about saying no or setting clear expectations, where before I tended to turn myself into a pretzel for other people’s requests.

Translating setting great boundaries in business saves me and the team tremendous amounts of time, makes us easier to work with because of our clarity, and builds stronger relationships because folks know they can trust me.

2. Focus

When you’ve got 45 minutes to write a sales email before your baby wakes up from their nap and you know that’s the only time in the day you’re going to have both of your hands free to type, you don’t succumb to distractions.

I didn’t have enough childcare until my kids were 2 and 5 (which is another story for another day.) Consequently, I got really good at getting the 20% of tasks done that got me 80% of the results in business. (Thank you, Pareto.)

Now that my kids are in school full time, I’m still able to get the important stuff done in way less time because I get in, focus, and get out.

3. Calling

Something about having two lives come through me opened me up to my calling in a way I didn’t have access to before. (Not to say that someone has to go through pregnancy for that to happen. That was just my path.)

For years I felt like I was “playing business” but when I became a mom, my Work (with a capital “W”) came through loud and clear.

I wasn’t looking around for who I should serve, what I should say, and what I should offer anymore. Those answers came from within now and they were clear.

Feeling deeply connected to my calling has made my offers more magnetic, made it easier to write copy that resonates with folks, and made it so that creating content is mostly fast, easy, and feels like breathing.

4. Legacy

My experience has been that neither motherhood nor business has been particularly easy, though I look for ways to make both of them easier all the time.

The thing that reduces friction in both arenas, though, is a clear, unequivocal why. It gets way easier to do something when you’re 1,000% committed and you’re not wobbling around wondering why the heck you’re doing that thing in the first place.

In both business and motherhood, the big why is legacy.

I want to make the world a better place before I die so that my girls can have beautiful lives. I want to raise them to trust themselves and pursue their curiosity and be kind so that they’re part of creating that better world.

And my business is part of how I make a contribution to a better world. I’m here to help people (mostly women) access the power that’s inherent in them so they can create lives rooted in meaning and joy.

When I’m mothering, I know I’m contributing to the same legacy as when I’m running my business.

There’s no separation.

Boundaries, focus, calling, and legacy.

These 4 things are the bedrock of our thriving business and it wouldn’t exist in the way it does without my journey of motherhood, but I wouldn’t be the kind of mom I am without it, either.

The next time you feel like you have to choose between two things you love, or two things you feel really drawn to, instead of thinking in terms of separation, ask yourself how each one of these things could actually enhance the other.

How each one of these things is actually required for you to thrive in the other.

Perhaps they’re not so separate, because who we are is who we are, no matter which roles we choose to rock.

Love,
Kate