I wish someone had explicitly told me what I’m about to tell you in the early days of parenting:
Don’t try to model your business after people who don’t have kids.
Don’t compare yourself to them. Don’t try to fit your life into their boxes or frameworks. Don’t try to do business like them.
Specifically, don’t try to work or do time management in the way they do.
If you’re a parent, by now you know that having kids changes every single aspect of your life: your body (especially if you’re the one who gave birth, but even if you didn’t), your relationships (romantic, friendships, family), your relationship with time, and your relationship with money and work.
But let me be clear: These changes aren’t a bad thing. They can be absolutely glorious…if you’ve got the right community, the right support, and the right advice.
Now, I’m not saying that folks who don’t have kids can’t pass along helpful strategies for paid ads, magnetic messaging, or creating a funnel that converts like a MOFO. Those strategies are kid-independent.
However, I spent waaaaay too much time trying to fit my mother self into a model of doing business that I’d simply outgrown, and I don’t want you to do the same thing.
Today, I’m sharing the four specific ways I shifted how I was working that helped us have our first 7-figure year less than 18 months after becoming parents.
(Spoiler: I don’t think I would’ve mastered these essential mature business skills without becoming a mom. Don’t let anyone tell you for one second that being a parent hinders your business and money-making dreams. Let it be a top reason you succeed instead.)
Here are the four ways being a mother has made me a better business owner:
1. Boundaries
There used to be a lot more gray area regarding what I was and wasn’t available for before I had kids. Let work squeak into the weekends? Sure, why not? Listen to my complainer friend’s most recent dating escapade ( identical to their last 10 relationships) for 90 minutes during my prime work hours? Ok. I’ve got all day, after all.
Once I had my first kid, though, it became instantly clear what and who I was available for and what and who I wasn’t. (Having a sick kid and postpartum challenges made my clarity even more powerful.)
My former people-pleasing self suddenly had no qualms about saying no or setting clear expectations, whereas before, I tended to turn myself into a pretzel for other people’s requests.
Translating setting great boundaries in business saves me and the team tremendous amounts of time, makes us easier to work with because of our clarity, and builds stronger relationships because folks know they can trust me.
2. Focus
When you’ve got 45 minutes to write a sales email before your baby wakes up from their nap and you know that’s the only time in the day you’ll have both of your hands-free to type, you don’t succumb to distractions.
I didn’t have enough childcare until my kids were 2 and 5 (another story for another day.) Consequently, I got really good at getting 20% of tasks done, which got me 80% of the results in business. (Thank you, Pareto.)
Now that my kids are in school full-time, I can still get the important stuff done in less time because I get in, focus, and get out. I now use that extra time to read books, hang with friends, sit in the sauna, walk by the water, and lay on the floor in savasana in the middle of my work day. ♥
3. Calling
Something about having two lives come through me opened me up to my calling in a way I didn’t have access to before.
For years, I felt like I was “playing business,” but when I became a mom, my Work (with a capital “W”) came through loud and clear.
I wasn’t looking around for who I should serve, what I should say, and what I should offer anymore. Those answers came from within now, and they were clear.
Feeling deeply connected to my calling has made my offers more magnetic, made it easier to write copy that resonates with folks, and made it so that creating content is fast, easy, and feels like breathing.
4. Legacy
My experience has been that neither Motherhood nor business has been particularly easy, though I look for ways to make both of them easier all the time.
However, the thing that reduces friction in both arenas is a clear, unequivocal why. It gets way easier to do something when you’re 1,000% committed, and you’re not wobbling around wondering why the heck you’re doing that thing in the first place.
In both business and Motherhood, the big why is legacy.
I want to make the world a more beautiful place before I die so that my girls can have beautiful lives. I want to raise them to trust themselves, pursue their curiosity, and be kind so that they can be part of creating a more beautiful world.
My business is part of how I contribute to a better world. I’m here to help people access the power that’s inherent in them so they can create lives rooted in meaning and joy.
When I’m mothering, I know I’m contributing to the same legacy as when I’m running my business.
There’s no separation.
Boundaries, focus, calling, and legacy.
These four things are the bedrock of our thriving business, and they wouldn’t exist in the way it does without my journey of Motherhood. I wouldn’t be the kind of mom I am without it, either.
The next time you feel like you have to choose between two things you love or two things, you feel really drawn to, instead of thinking about separation, ask yourself how each one of these things could actually enhance the other.
How each one of these things is actually required for you to thrive in the other.
Perhaps they’re not so separate because who we are is who we are, no matter which roles we choose to rock.
Love,
Kate

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