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Feed your love every day (and other wise women relationship gems.)

One recent magical evening in New York I had the pleasure of circling up at Sarabeth’s with eight beautiful women. We were celebrating my friend Danielle’s birthday in pure goddess fashion. As we went around the table, each stating a desire for Danielle (kind of like a birthday wish but with a bit more turgor), it occurred to me that we were swimming in a pool of tremendous wisdom. You see, Danielle and I both have a desire to get married and have kids in the not so distant future. And there we were, surrounded by six women who have been married, divorced, and re-married, who have loved, lost, and loved again, who have mothered and been mothered, who have lusted and have been adored, and who are all currently happily matched with amazing men. I asked each woman to share a gem about love with us with the intention of adding to our already well-stocked arsenal of relationship wisdom gleaned from myriad books, classes, workshops, and inquiries. It was one of my birthday gifts to Danielle, but it was equally a gift for myself. Our panel of experts was tremendous:

Melanie Ericksen: a cranio-sacral therapist and amazing energy/body worker, member of Team Northrup, and a graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Dr. Lissa Rankin: an author, mother, doctor, founder of Owning Pink, and graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Caroline Muir: an author, world-renowned tantra teacher, teacher at the Divine Feminine Institute, and conscious lover extraordinaire

Maddy Vertenten: a writer, mother, member of Team Northrup, founder of Vibrant One, graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Dr. Deborah Kern: an author, mother, wellness expert and speaker, founder of Wild Dance Workout, and Team Northrup member, and graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts Dr. Karen Wolfe: an author, mother, wellness expert, speaker and coach, Team Northrup member and graduate of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts

Here is what these brilliant broads had to say on love, romance and partnership:

Melanie Ericksen: Get in touch with what you want in your heart and ask for it in a way that allows your guy to serve you. This includes boundaries. Set boundaries as a way of empowering yourself. We all love in different ways.

Dr. Lissa Rankin: It doesn’t have to look any certain way as long as both people’s needs are met.

Caroline Muir: Make loving a daily practice. Create acts of conscious, loving kindness every day such as getting off the computer and dressing up to greet your man when he comes home. Tell him how much you adore him. Feed your love every day.

Maddy Vertenten: Be with someone who requires your voice. Be with someone who can hold the vision of your life together through the dark times and who you can celebrate all the moments of your life with.

Dr. Deborah Kern: Find a man who is strong enough, powerful enough, and man enough that you can soften in his arms. Give that part of yourself to him and allow him to have that. The magic only happens when you surrender.

Dr. Karen Wolfe: Be in your full joy. Stay present in the moment. The barometer for a relationship is if you feel like, “he makes me a better person.” Partnership, love, and relationship are all a choice. Always tell the truth. The man has to love you to pieces. (Her mother always told her its better if the man loves you a little bit more than you love him.)

Thank you beloved women for infusing us with your truth and jeweled wisdom. Danielle and I will pack it carefully and hold it tight in our evening bags as we date and eventually find, and choose, love.


  • Beautiful entry Kate and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIELLE! These are touching sentiments and I will continue to re-read them. Lots of love to you:)!

  • Kate,

    What a beautiful insights to read from some amazing women :)

    Be with someone who encourages you to feel your feelings, speak your truth, do what you love and honor and trust yourself always. And do the same for him :-) Oh! And have pets together (if not kids) and laugh a LOT! :-) xoxoxo :-)

  • i LOVE this kate. and of course as the REVEALer i am, i love how you’re platforming and pulling together women’s wisdom. i think these entries would make a sexy little handbook for the single not desperately but intentionally seeking female. smile. here’s my contribution. FALL FIERCELY IN LOVE WITH YOU- FIND YOUR INNER HONEY- KNOW THAT YOUR HONEY-LOVE IS YOU AND WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU NO MATTER WHO COMES OR GOES IN OR OUT OF YOUR BED OR HOME. ONCE YOU MEET WITH THE LOVE WITHIN YOU- YOU’LL MEET THE PARTNER WHO MATCHES YOU. YOU’LL CREATE A UNION THEN THAT BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO EACH OTHER AND TO THE DIVINE ONE KISS AT A TIME.

    (Keep in mind this Shakespearian maxim: The Course Of True Love Never Did Run Smooth, keep always a room of your own or at least an altar, and keep in mind- when you want to give up and want to be single again for the rest of your life because the hard work inherent in loving feels too hard- that truly being loved and loving- is our highest purpose here.)

  • These are wonderful gems from truly wise women. What a brilliant and beautiful gift for Danielle and yourself. And now by sharing the wisdom, you inspire so many others.

    The timing of this post couldn’t be better. July 1st is the day I met my amazing husband 15 years ago… in the flukiest of ways…after just a few months of practicing the 5 tiny changes that I talked about in my video. Soon, you will have your own story to tell. And it will be sweet to your soul, of that I’m sure!

  • Thank you. That was a beautiful article.

  • Monika Pekala

    Beautiful! Inspiring! Wise!

    “Love is union under the condition od preserving one’s integrity. o love at all is to be engaged with humankind, with eyes open” Erich Fromm

    Thank you for sharing Kate!


  • Kipling Ericksen

    Gotta love my Goddesess! Wishing you all the best!

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