Have More By Doing Less: A Free Guide Grab your copy here!

There’s No Such Thing As Being Behind

I’ve never been part of any group of people doing anything where there wasn’t at least one person who felt behind.

They hadn’t completed all the reading.

They hadn’t yet gotten their period.

They hadn’t been kissed. Or asked out. Or asked to dance.

They hadn’t watched all the videos or completed all of the lessons. They hadn’t even started any of the lessons, for God’s sakes.

They hadn’t…

bought a house

had a baby

gotten married

landed their dream job

been to Paris

read War and Peace

learned how to cook

paid off their debt

started their business

hit six figures

lost the weight

healed the pattern

forgiven their mother

taken up the guitar

made their first million

…yet.

I have yet to meet anybody who doesn’t feel like, at least in one area of their life, they should be further ahead.

Some days I feel behind in business. Some days I feel behind in motherhood. Some days I feel behind in my spiritual life. (Like I haven’t meditated in months, possibly years, for example, and I have so many friends who swear by it. Daily. So there’s that.)

But, let’s ask ourselves, shall we?

Behind what?

Behind where?

Behind whom?

Where are we supposed to be, anyway, if not where we are?

Here’s the deal:

It’s impossible to feel behind if you’re not comparing yourself

Feeling behind inevitably comes from having some idealized picture of what our lives should look like based on our age, experience, gender, position, or any other category we’ve put ourselves in and then finding that our actual life falls short.

I think we can all agree that there’s no “right” way to do life. So, therefore, there’s no place we should be other than where we are.

There’s no such thing as an ideal life. There’s just the life you live.

Could we have made different choices that would have landed us further “ahead” of where we are now? I guess, but I think it would be more accurate to say we could have made different choices that would have landed us in a different place than where we are now. Not ahead or behind. Just different.

And back-tracking to consider what would have happened had we not chosen what we chose is a unique form of self-torture that I don’t think is particularly fruitful – unless you’re using it to make a new decision in the present moment.

We will never stop aspiring to expansion. Our hunger will not cease.

There’s nothing wrong with some healthy dissatisfaction and a desire to change some things up in your life.

But we can choose, moment by moment, to stop beating ourselves up for being behind.

Being behind is impossible if we are living according to a set of rules that we’ve defined (and given ourselves permission to update as needed).

If there’s no ideal way to do anything, there’s no way to be ahead or behind.

You can only be where you are. And the best way to be there is to be there. Fully. And not leak any more of your precious life force into feeling behind.

You’re not behind. You’re where you are. And that’s the only place you can be. So be there.

OVER TO YOU:

Where do you feel behind in your life? How could you look at it differently? Tell me in the comments!

 

21 comments

Financial Ease Is a Possibility For You

A few weeks ago I stood in a circle of amazing men and women around a fire pit at a Summer Solstice celebration. Each person was sharing something they were grateful for that they’d manifested since the Winter Solstice 6 months before. One friend in particular shared that she’s doing work (and getting very well…

Continue Reading
0 comments

Starting a Sustainable Business as a New Mother

Amber Lilyestrom, brand strategist and business coach, used to work 50+ hours a week in a corporate job until she realized that she didn’t even want the career she was working her butt off towards achieving. She started her business when her daughter was only 8 months old and hit six figures in her first…

Continue Reading
0 comments

Using your intuition to create and attract sustainable success as a new mother

Ariel Frey decided to quit her job as a server because she wanted to make a greater impact on the world. She even skipped her last shift because she’d already made $23,400 in sales that month after listening to the best source of advice she could find. It wasn’t a secret formula from a business…

Continue Reading
9 comments

How to build a sustainable business that works for you and your schedule as a mom

Her business used to be all over the place, and she was just mimicking what other people were doing. She struggled to find the tribe of people who would resonate with what she was putting out there. Then, she started using ritual and her intuition in really practical ways within her writing, yoga, and essential…

Continue Reading
5 comments

If You Want to Make Money Inspiring People, This Is for You

I meet a lot of women who want to create businesses around inspiring people and helping them feel empowered. But the problem is they’re not making the kind of money they want to make in their businesses. Why? Because you can’t make money inspiring people. Don’t get me wrong, it can be PART of what…

Continue Reading
0 comments

The Essential Ingredient to Living Your Dreams That No One Ever Talks About

When I first started my business, I looked at the folks who had been at it longer than I had, who were making more money than I was, and who had larger communities than I had. I assumed that somewhere along the way their self-doubt had dissolved, which is why they were so successful. It’s…

Continue Reading
12 comments

My 6 Secrets to Growing an Online Business That Pays Really Well, That I Love, and That Makes a Difference

The only kind of business I want anything to do with is a business that is focused on doing something that is helpful to humanity. That’s it. Period. Cash with consciousness is where it’s at. I started my website in 2010, and I had no clue what I was doing. I knew I wanted to…

Continue Reading
24 comments

Optimal Doesn’t Happen By Accident: How To Design Your Ideal Week

Mike and I spent the last week of 2016 reviewing what really worked about the year and what didn’t work so well. (To hear the ritual we do around this, listen to our podcast episode about it.) During our annual reviews the two previous years we’d had the same take away: we did too much….

Continue Reading
12 comments

The Myth of Balance and What to Aim for Instead

In the personal growth industry the word “balance” is thrown around a lot. I get what it’s supposed to mean – not putting all of our time and attention on work or other obligations so that we can also attend to our families, health, relationships, communities, and the planet. But here’s what I think of…

Continue Reading
13 comments