Last week in my newsletter, The Dispatch (sign up for a weekly love note from me), I revealed why I’ve been in so much resistance to writing the proposal for my next book.

ICYMI: I’m scared of my greatness, just like everyone else 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I promised this week I’d clue you in as to why we’re scared shitless of our greatness and how to work with our circuitry to melt the resistance.

If you’re here because you’re ready to have a healthier, more abundant relationship with money, I 1,000% promise that understanding the piece I’m sharing today is mission critical for you. You’re in the right place, my friend!

Most coaches, personal development books, and motivational podcasts have it completely wrong when it comes to how to work with our resistance to doing the things we know we need to do in order to get the things we really want.

It drives me bananas when I hear folks advise that all we need when it comes to overcoming our resistance is to just push on through.

Feel the fear (aka resistance) and do it anyway lacks the nuance and understanding of a critical piece of the resistance puzzle:

Your nervous system.

So how do we meet our resistance and make progress on our desires in a way that honors our nervous system?

I’m so glad you’re here because I’m about to tell you!

First: Why do we resist our greatness and not take the action steps we know we need to take to actualize the fullness of all we’re capable of?

It’s simple: our nervous systems don’t feel safe to do so.

According to your nervous system, that which is unfamiliar registers as unsafe.

So, if up until now you’ve experienced a particular level of living into your potential that’s below what you know is possible for you and most of the people you hang out with are operating at that same half-mast level, it’s gonna feel unsafe to your nervous system to expand beyond that.

Our nervous systems are wired to keep us alive and they’re doing a wonderful job at it, as evidenced by the fact that your heart is beating right now and you’re reading this email.

These survival systems have been gathering data on how to keep us safe our entire lives and they carry around data about how to keep us safe from our ancestors as well. (The field of epigenetics tells us all about this.)

They’re also gathering information based on observing and absorbing (through things like our mirror neurons) the lived experience of other people who we identify with (aka, the collective.)

They’ve got the info-gathering about what’s a potential threat on lock. Thank you nervous systems.

They need a little support to orient towards thriving, however.

The thing is, everything we desire, be it a bigger income, a bestselling book, a healthy, vital body, or a relationship where we feel fully met, is something we haven’t experienced before.

So, according to our nervous system, our desires are a threat. (Remember: that which is unfamiliar registers as unsafe to the nervous system.)

So it makes perfect sense that we’d have resistance to the point of stalling out on doing the very things that will get us what we want when what we want is in the direction of expansion.

And guess what? Just pushing through and doing it anyway isn’t loving to the nervous system and doesn’t encode the wiring we need for sustainable thriving.

Instead, it can often lead to unconscious contraction or even collapse (like finding ourselves in massive overwhelm, so much so that we can’t get out of bed or stop binge-watching TV).

Just pushing through our resistance doesn’t communicate to our nervous system the very thing that it needs to feel in order to expand:

Safety.

That’s why so many people don’t seem to make any progress on their desires despite signing up for coaching program after coaching program and reading book after book.

When we try to shift our behavior (and/or our thoughts) without tending to our nervous systems and learning to signal to our bodies that we’re safe, we boomerang back to the same patterns of playing small.

But if we signal safety along the way?

Our nervous system’s capacity to feel truly safe expands and before we know it, we’re living our greatness more and more while feeling totally safe to do so!
No need to live terrified every day. No need to drink fear for breakfast. No need to feel like you might die at any moment.

Nope. Living the expanded version of yourself that you know is your destiny can absolutely feel safe over time. So much so that it becomes your delicious default. No efforting required. No intense mantras or routines to get you hyped up.

When you learn to signal to your nervous system that you’re safe as you expand, your expanded way of being becomes your identity and you don’t have to use effort to keep showing up that way.

Your expansion becomes automatic.

This automatic identity expansion can apply to your career goals, your family life, romance, your health, and yes, of course, your money.

Make sure you’re subscribed to Plenty because starting 3/19, I’m releasing a 7-part series of solo episodes to walk you through how to go from unconsciously repelling your money desires to making your expanded money identity automatic.

Know this: Your capacity for greatness knows no bounds.

And when you learn how to feel safe first, you can access all of that greatness easily while feeling relaxed.

Love,
Kate