Kate Northrup: But when we try to hold everything, we actually can’t hold anything. And money was not meant to be held. Money is meant to move. Money is meant to flow. Welcome to Plenty, a weekly recalibration of power, money, and safety for high capacity humans.

I’m Kate Northrup, best selling author and creator of Relaxed Money, and this is where neuroscience meets ancient wisdom meets real wealth strategy. This is the sacred conversation at the intersection of money, the body, and the life you’re truly here to live. If you’re ready to reimagine what’s possible for yourself and for the world, you’re in the right place. Let’s go. Welcome back to Plenty.

If you have been with me before and if you are brand new to this show, I’m so happy to have you. Today, we are talking about why I think trying to learn to hold more money or hold more wealth is actually the opposite of what we need to be doing. So the phrasing hold more money or hold more wealth comes up over and over and over again, both within my Relax Money community, within conversations I’m part of in the women’s entrepreneurship world, and especially around anybody talking about the nervous system and wealth. But here’s where I think we have it wrong when we talk about learning to hold more, especially for women. But really, anybody who would identify as a highly capable human, I don’t think we need to be learning how to hold anything else.

There’s this funny moment. I used to live in New York City on the 3rd Floor of a prewar apartment building in Chelsea on 16th And 7th. And I remember one day, I was in the retail space underneath the apartment building, which is now I think like a Williams Sonoma. But it used to be a store called Hold Everything, and they got purchased by the Pottery Barn brand. And I remember being in Hold Everything one day, and I was doing the classic thing that I do.

I don’t know if you do this as well, but you go into a store. Usually, it’s a grocery store for me, and I think, oh, I’m just running in for milk, so that’s all I need. So I don’t need a basket. I don’t need a cart. But then before I know it, I’ve walked by all the different aisles, and I realized, oh, I’m also gonna grab grapes and a loaf of sourdough, and, you know, some stuff for the girls’ lunches and whatever.

And then before I know it, my arms are full. I’m dropping things in the aisles, and really I should have gotten a basket. And so I was having one of those moments, except I was in ironically hold everything, and my friend Noah called me, and he lived down the street, and he was like, hey, what are you doing? And I’m like holding the phone between, you know, my ear and my shoulder. I’ve got 35 items.

I’ve got a tote bag falling off my arm. I’ve got my purse dangling, and I was like, I’m in hold everything, but I can’t hold anything. And I’m dropping my keys, and you know, was one of those just classic chaotic moments, because it was funny that I was trying to hold everything in hold everything. But when we try to hold everything, we actually can’t hold anything. And money was not meant to be held.

Money is meant to move. Money is meant to flow. This is also why I don’t talk about owning your money. I talk about stewarding your money. To be clear, stewardship does not mean spending.

Stewardship does not mean the money comes in and it goes right out the door. Stewardship means consciously directing the flow. So when we go to hold something, if we’re trying to increase our capacity to hold, do this with me right now. Grip your fist. Grip your fist as tightly as you can.

I’m doing it with you right now if you’re not watching on YouTube or Spotify. And what you notice is if you have a gripped fist and somebody were to try to hand you something, you can’t actually receive it because your fist is closed. Now open your hand. Release the grip. Now open to a wide open relaxed palm.

If somebody tried to hand you something right now, would you be able to receive it? Of course, the answer is yes. So the name of the game is not holding. The name of the game is increasing our capacity to receive and experience abundance, not to hold money. Also, our capacity to receive, enjoy, experience, and steward money.

Stewarding money means when the money comes in, it already has a job. It means you have a clear engineered system for your money so that you know what percentage goes where, you know how things are earmarked, and you know that the money is going to go someplace that is aligned with your values. And ideally, at least some of it is going to go somewhere where it will work for you. Now how does money work for us? Well, it comes in to your checking account, and then you direct it to different assets, meaning things that you can invest in that grow such as a short term rental property, such as stocks in the stock market through, an ETF or index fund.

It could be bonds. It could be commodities. It could be crypto. It could be a real estate investment trust or REIT. It could be a business.

There’s a lot of different ways that we can invest in assets. And by the way, we are always our greatest asset, so our best investment will always be in our self in terms of our own education, our own development, our own well-being. So just know that. But when you direct the flow towards those assets, what does the money do? The money is going that direction because you gave it a job, and then it is actually moving.

For example, if you invest in a company in the stock market and you buy shares of that company, you get the shares, but that company is now taking that money and using it to grow their company ideally so that you as a shareholder get an increase in your earnings, and then the owners of the company also are getting an increase in their earnings. If you take your money and you put it in a high yield savings account, the bank that holds that money, they are… Well, they’re not holding it. Right? They’re actually stewarding it.

See how easy this can be to get tripped up around it? The bank then has the money, and they are lending it out, and they’re making money on your money. Because your money, the minute it hits your checking account, is getting used by the bank to lend to other people for their mortgages, their business loans, their whatever. Money moves. That’s how the entire economy works.

So the less we focus on holding and the more we focus on stewardship, the more money we allow to flow into our lives, and then we also get to be a joyful steward and conduit for money and other forms of abundance, blessing other people’s lives as well. So first of all, this requires energetically having an open palm. The other thing we notice is if we hold our breath for thirty seconds, try it right now. Just take an inhale. Hold your breath.

Hold your breath for as long as you possibly can. What does that feel like versus breathing in and out? Right? Breath is meant to move. That’s how we stay alive.

Money is meant to move. That’s how our financial lives work. But money does not always need to be moving to other people. So when money comes in, you might have a certain percentage that stays in your checking account, a certain percentage that goes into a high yield savings, a certain percentage that then pays for your needs, a certain that pays for your wants, a certain amount that goes to taxes, a certain amount that goes towards stocks and bonds, certain amount towards your short term goals for savings, perhaps like a vacation, your long term goals, maybe your retirement, maybe sending your kids to college. This is what I mean by being a conscious steward, and what it requires is three things.

So every time you have money coming in, and you wanna make these decisions ahead of time ideally, because when you are a conscious, compassionate, values based, heart centered steward of money, you tend to attract more money because it feels safe with you. And people who would perhaps be paying you or collaborating with you or giving you money can feel that. They can feel if you are someone who is a steward or who is trying to hold. Hold results in grasping, inflexibility, fear. Stewardship is an open palm.

Stewardship is an inhale and exhale. So it’s not always about that money going out. Sometimes it will be. Sometimes it will be going out to vendors and places that are in alignment with your values that are bringing you experiences that you absolutely love. Sometimes it’ll be going out to charities that that you align with.

Sometimes it will be then being decided to flow into different accounts and different avenues that fit your financial goals and fit your financial plan so that you can feel rich now and also build wealth for later because we do not need to choose. So there are three questions that you need to ask yourself. Okay? So three questions for any money that does not yet have a job. Number one, what is this money for?

What is this money for? Okay. Number two, who is going to help support me in giving this money a job? So if you’re not clear on what the job is that that money has, you need support in how to decide. Who’s that gonna be?

And then number three, when am I going to look at it again? So those are the three questions you need to ask for any money that does not already have a job. Now if you don’t have an answer to who’s going to support me in this decision, please consider checking out our brand new community, Relaxed Wealth. You can head to katenorthrup.com/wealth to learn more. Okay.

This is why we don’t focus on holding more money. We focus on being healthy, aligned, conscious, heart led stewards of money. When more conscious people are stewarding increased amounts of money, the world unequivocally becomes a better place. I am on a mission to get more money in the hands of wonderful people. But more importantly, I am on a mission to help wonderful, conscious people have a healthy relationship with that money because no amount of adding more money to an unhealthy relationship with money is going to change your life or is going to change the world.

But when we add more money into a healthy financial ecosystem that includes giving the money a job, that includes right relationship with the money, that includes an open palm and a deep trust and connection to source itself, not money as our source, but source as our source with the capital s, that makes your life better, and that also makes the world a better place. So if you have resonated with this today, and if you want to become a conscious, healthy, heart based steward of your money to increase your own experience of abundance and make the world a better place, go to katenorthrup.com/wealth. If this episode was helpful for you, please let us know. Take a screenshot. Share it on social.

Tag me at Kate Northrup. And if you know somebody who needs to hear this information, please forward this to a friend. Just text them with the link right now. Thank you so much for listening, and I can’t wait to see you next time. 

What you earn and what you keep are two different things.Most people know what they make, but many don’t have any idea what happens after that and why a big month doesn’t actually change the feeling of the ground we stand on. The wealth mirror fixes that. This is a free resource where you can learn exactly what’s happening in three clear diagnostics running underneath your money. Because the top line number does not tell the whole story, but the wealth mirror does. So if you wanna know the intel, the precious information and wisdom and intelligence happening underneath your money that will help you to feel the level of security and freedom that you actually desire, head to katenorthrup.com/mirror.

The link is in the show notes. Again, go to katenorthrup.com/mirror to run your free wealth mirror now.