While I’m a forever feminist, I think there are some parts of the movement (all the waves of it) that swung the pendulum too far for some of us to the tune of an over-correction.

The main one?

Hyper-independence.

Stay with me.

I’ll be the first to tell you that a man is not a financial plan, and I’m eternally grateful to have incarnated at a time when I’m allowed to make my own money, have property in my own name, and get credit without a male co-signer.

However, when it comes to dating, friendship, gathering a village, support at home, or building a team in your business–buying into the illusion that you don’t need anyone (financially or otherwise) will bite you in the ass.

You’ll work way harder than necessary.
You’ll get bitter.
You’ll get brittle.
You’ll get lonely.
You won’t make nearly as much money.

Simply put, going at it alone in life or business is an abundance killer.

I’m talking about this today because today is a very special day for someone really special in my life who happens to have been the melter of my sharpest hyper-independent edges.

So why is today special, and who’s it special for?

My amazing husband, Mr. Mike Watts, who is also my brilliant business partner, was born on this day 42 years ago!

And beyond being the most amazing person to go on adventures with, raise kids with, create a life with, and be in love with…he’s also my most essential business asset.

Does that sound objectifying? Perhaps. But let me explain.

In 2011, less than a year after Mike came into my life, I kept hearing the same kind of thing over and over again from people who’d known me a long time in business:

“You seem really different, Kate. You seem more relaxed and radiant. Your lights are turned all the way on. You’re more powerful and simultaneously softer.”

It was no accident that I went from making $34K a year to bringing in over $125K the next year and magnetized opportunities like a book deal at a dream publishing house and paid speaking gigs for the first time in my life all within a year after Mike showed up, as well.

I knew what some of them didn’t: The difference was that I was receiving support on a level that had never been available to me before.

Within 24 hours of randomly inviting Mike (a guy I’d hung out with only two times prior) to drive across the country with me, he’d mapped out our route, planned our itinerary, figured out where we were going to stay each night, sent me a link to the road atlas he thought we should get, and had delegated which of us was responsible for bringing which toiletries.

His level of mastery on the physical plane and willingness to show up for me were the likes of which I’d never experienced, and they simultaneously thrilled and terrified me.

We’re nearly 14 years into doing life and business together, and here’s what I’ve learned:

None of us is meant to do life alone. Our nervous systems are literally wired so that we feel safer and more powerful when we’re in community. (Our mirror neurons know the truth: we’re stronger together. In fact, we aren’t even really separate to begin with.)

If you’re struggling with having more to do than you have time for, feeling overwhelmed by what’s on your plate, being busy all the time but not having nearly enough to show for it, or not being able to break through to your next level of income or impact, I have a suggestion:

See where support might be available to you that you haven’t been open to receiving yet.

The more support we’re willing to let in, the less stress our bodies carry.

The less stress our bodies carry, the more magnetic we become.

No one is going to give you an award at the end of life for having done as many things as possible on your own.
Flying solo detracts from your results on nearly every level.

Opening up to receiving support enhances them.

If you crave a feeling of plenty when it comes to your time, energy, and money, start by tapping into the support and community that’s already all around, but we just can’t see when we’re trying to prove how independent and self-reliant we are.

And to my amazing husband: thank you for showing me what it means to be truly held. I love you more than words.

Xo,
Kate

P.S. Did you know that the same parts of our brain light up, whether we’re giving or receiving? Isn’t that cool?

Here’s a quick exercise:

If you feel like your well of support is running dry right now, where could you be generous to prime the flow of giving and receiving? Could you shoot someone a quick love note via text? Could you make an introduction between two people in your network that would be mutually beneficial? Could you leave a rating and review your favorite podcast?

It doesn’t have to take long or be energetically expensive. It could take like 3 minutes!

And after you do, notice how you feel. Next, notice if your awareness is more tuned into where support might already be available to you that you didn’t notice before.

Now the part where the stretch comes in:

Say yes to it. Open your arms wide and receive. When the person offers to get the door for you or your bags…say yes. When a friend offers to buy your coffee…say yes. When someone says, please let me know if there’s anything I can do…tell them what they can do. Hand them a broom or a dish towel. Ask for an introduction or a social media post.

We can all do all the things if we stick together, but we can barely do any of them alone—at least not without becoming cranky, dried-up little martyred raisins.

Let’s go for plump receivers instead, shall we?

Now, go forth and let the flow move through you!