If you do this you’ll get what you want.


The other day I left to run a few errands and asked our nanny to give Baby P a bottle while I was out.

I simply said, “a bottle,” without any more specifics.

When I came home I realized that she’d made a bottle for the baby with quite a bit more milk than we usually do, simply because it was all in one container and she grabbed the first one she saw in the fridge.

Every ounce of breastmilk feels like gold. So when I have to throw some away or it otherwise gets “wasted,” I get upset (sometimes unreasonably so, given that there really is plenty more where it came from).

I have a whole theory on my mentality about amassing a breast milk freezer stash, how it relates to my evolving relationship with money, and how we can all use what I’ve learned to up-level our abundance game. (Stay tuned for it in a future post, and make sure you’re on my list so you won’t miss it.)

There were a whole bunch of things that week that didn’t get done the way I wanted them to get done.

Becoming a mother has run a giant fluorescent highlighter over the fact that I’m a control freak. (I honestly didn’t really know the extent of it before.) And my control freakiness was out in full force that week.

Wires had gotten crossed with Mike about a new scheduling software we were using and had created a systems cesspool. I’d asked someone on our team to do something and it didn’t get done the way I’d asked.

I was irritated. I was blaming everyone else. I was bitching and moaning.

And then I realized: it was my fault.

Not my fault in the getting out the flail kind of way. But my fault in the taking responsibility for the results kind of way. (We do have a choice about beating ourselves up or simply learning from our foibles in a more gentle way.)

The reason things weren’t getting done the way I wanted them to be done was because I wasn’t being clear. I wasn’t being specific.

If you ask someone to do something without being specific and it doesn’t get done the way you wanted, that’s your fault, not theirs.

I could complain all day about how the other people in my life weren’t doing what I wanted. Or I could take responsibility for the fact that my communication wasn’t clear.

If you want something done the way you want it, you have to be specific when you ask.

I needed to say, “Please give the baby 4 oz. of milk while I’m out,” instead of, “Please give the baby a bottle.”

I needed to be detailed in my requests to our team.

I needed to spell out what I needed from Mike in order for him to be able to do it. (This one will save relationships, people!)

If we stop expecting people to read our minds and instead tell them specifically what we want, our chances of getting it go up infinitely.

So, whether you’re asking for something from your husband, your business manager, your friend, or the Universe, remember:

Be clear. Be specific. Be direct. Make it easy for others to give you what you want. {Tweet it!}

Be clear. Be specific. Be direct- Tweet



How do you increase the likelihood that you’ll get what you want when you’re communicating with others? What are your communication tips? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!



How to get paid to be you.


The other night Mike asked me if I feel like we have a real business, or if I think I just get paid to journal. It was a hilarious question, but it really made me think. The reality is, while I certainly feel like I do more than journal, I do feel like I get…

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Want to win a scholarship to B-School? {Details inside}


It’s a very exciting day because Marie has just announced that she’s running a scholarship contest to give away spots in her B-School class of 2016! This program is well worth the investment. In fact, with what I learned from B-School I’ve made back more than 750 times my investment. If you do the math…

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Want to hang out this month?


I met Marie Forleo by chance at a yoga class in 2009. 7 years later, my thriving online business is in large part due to her mentorship. (And we’ve had some really good laughs and a few cries together along the way!) I remember sitting in the back seat of Josh and Marie’s car as…

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Outsourcing, Automation, and the Joy of Assisted Living.

  Your time is your most valuable asset. Everybody can make more money but nobody can make more time. {Tweet it.}   Since our baby arrived, Mike and I have learned – on a deeper level than before – how valuable an hour of our time is. So we’ve moved into assisted living. In order…

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How to Make Money the Feminine Way.


If you hang in the personal development woo-woo circles that I do (and you likely do since you’re reading this), there’s a lot of talk about masculine and feminine energy. While there are tomes written on this, here’s the quick and dirty version as I see it: Masculine and feminine energy are alive in each…

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21 Days to Change Your Financial Life with the #MoneyLoveChallenge


  Ever since I had the baby I cannot seem to find anything I can tolerate watching other than Modern Family or Fixer Upper. I can’t stand anything with violence, anything disturbing, anything scary, or anything depressing. So that cuts out almost everything on TV. I promised Mike I wouldn’t watch the new episodes of…

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The #MoneyLoveChallenge is back!

In early January last year Mike and I thought: “Wouldn’t it be cool to get a bunch of people on the interwebs together to take daily loving steps towards their money for a specific, focused time period?” I’ve seen time and time again how what we put our attention on grows. And this includes our…

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Make 2016 the year of #MoneyLove! Free resources inside.


  This is the first week of a brand new year. Possibilities abound. Fresh, blank pages await you. Your story of 2016 has yet to be written. What do you most want to create/manifest/attract this year? Whatever it is (new job, new relationship, vibrant health, a loving community, a new home, creative expression), having the…

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How We Doubled Our Income 4 Years in a Row (+ Free 2016 #MoneyLove Planner)

How We Doubled Our Income Header

I created a printable 2016 #MoneyLove Planner for you to download to guide you in starting the year off with the clarity and intention that manifests. This is based on the exact financial rituals Mike and I have done to double our income every year 4 years in a row. Enter your Name and Email…

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