Episode 181: Staying With Yourself When You Want to Numb or Run

written by Kate Northrup

Life hands us all kinds of hard things.

And when we’re going through a hard thing, we have a choice:

Run, numb, or stay.

Depending on the day, where I am in my cycle, and which way the wind is blowing, I choose differently.

Given the intensity of the moment we’re in globally, though, and the number of hard things coming my way lately (I know you’re undoubtedly navigating your own set of hard things and I’m sending you so much love), I’ve been seeing what happens when I stay.

Can I stay with myself when I’m crawling out of my skin being with my kids?

Can I stay with myself when I’m feeling sensations during an intense workout?

Can I stay with myself when Mike and I are in conflict about something going on within our business?

Can I stay with myself when I desperately want an answer to unanswerable questions?

Can I stay with myself?

Staying with ourselves is not easy, and most of us were never taught how to do it.

We have a million and three ways to numb or run…but developing a new neural pathway to support staying and mining the gold in the intensity is new for most of us.

This week on the podcast, we’re talking about staying with ourselves when we want to numb or run.

In the episode we share:

Our favorite numbing strategies and what we’re noticing about them right now during the pandemic (anyone else finding themselves staring into the snack cabinet at night hoping that something in there will fix your problems?)
About the time last week when it felt like my soul had broken out in hives and what I did about it
What birth taught us about staying
The critical difference between a feeling and a sensation and how one can set you free
The opportunity in staying that we lose when we numb or run

There’s also a lot of hilarity in this episode because…well…we’re in quarantine and we have the sillies.

Staying With Yourself When You Want to Numb or Run

In This Episode

What we mean by “being with yourself” [11:49]
Why Mike wanted us to record an episode on this topic [16:04]
How difficult experiences can be an invitation for us to be with ourselves in a deeper way [19:29]
A recent experience Kate had that affected her soul greatly [23:00]
Why giving birth was the loneliest time for her, and the most she’s ever been called to be with herself [26:50]
Some of the ways that Mike numbs himself [29:44]
Kate’s new practices for being with herself [34:20]
How to start experience our feelings differently [37:24]
Mike’s journey of thinking more critically, and what to keep in mind about the news [45:10]
What Kate has been doing to navigate social media [52:20]
How the dynamics of our business have changed, and will continue to [56:46]