Blog Posts

Who do you want to be?


“I’m just surprised by the kind of mother I am,” I said.

My sweet therapist nodded as she listened with compassion.

I went on to tell her how I had assumed I would be the kind of mother my mother was. She was my primary role model for mothering, after all.

I thought I wouldn’t worry.

I thought I would be completely laid back.

I thought I would go with the flow and follow my instincts without wondering if I was doing it right.

But I had become a different kind of mother somehow.

I obsessed about sleep schedules, my milk supply, and whether I was playing with Penelope enough.

When I wasn’t with her I checked in with whoever was taking care of her regularly to see if she was okay.

(When I asked my mom if she had worried about my sister and me when she wasn’t with us when we were little, she told me she hadn’t. Her work of delivering babies and performing surgeries required her full presence. She couldn’t attend a woman in labor and worry about our nap schedules at the same time.)

To be honest, I didn’t really love being the kind of mother I had become.

It recently dawned on me (duh!) that I get to choose the kind of mother I am.

We all get to choose the kind of [fill in the blank] we are.

We get to choose the kind of business owner we are.

We get to choose the kind of wife we are.

We get to choose the kind of sister/friend/community member/artist/healer/employer/employee/leader we are.

There are some parts of my mother I definitely want to embody in my mothering: the healer, the intuitive, the listener, someone with a relaxed sense of all is well.

And there are some new things that I want to bring to the table, too.

While we all have inherent gifts and proclivities, what we choose to bring forth in our daily lives is up to us.

(I have a tendency to be on the anxious side, for example. I can choose to let my anxiety drive my mother bus, or I can ask it to sit in the back.)

We get to pick the parts of us that lead our lives. {Tweet it.}

We get to pick_Tweet


Over To You:

So, what kind of mother do you want to be? What kind of sister/friend/community member/artist/healer/employer/employee/leader/person do you want to be? Tell me about it in the comments!


It’s not luck. It’s choice.


When we exclaim how lucky someone is, there’s a lot of backstory we’re ignoring. We all know people who have all the privilege and blessings in the world who haven’t made much of them. We all know people whose backgrounds make our stomach turn but who have managed to create beautiful, meaningful, wholehearted lives. Call…

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The Infinite Possibilities in Saying “I Do”

I used to think that freedom meant boundlessness. I used to think it was like looking at a vast horizon with every possibility in the world. I used to think freedom meant the ability to choose literally anything at anytime… and to change my mind at the float of a feather. I’m about to make…

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Somebody wants what you have.

Right now, someone in the world envies you. They admire your business. They covet your wardrobe. They lust after your husband. To someone somewhere you look like you have it all. Your website makes their mouth water. Your pictures on Facebook make them yearn for adventure in their life. Seeing you makes them crave more….

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The six letter word to banish from your vocabulary.

I don’t believe in regret. Yes, we have infinite choices and infinite possibilities in life. Yes the world is our oyster. Yes, in this exact moment there are myriad versions of how my life could turn out based on what I decide to do in the next 30 seconds. And yet, there is no such…

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Just get on the train (or the freedom of commitment.)

“The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.”…

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