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Everything is Going to Be Ok

I was having a chat with my dear friend KC Baker about the innate fear so many of us have that if we slow down in our businesses or take a break that everything will fall apart. That everyone will forget about us. That we’ll miss all of the opportunities. That we’ll become irrelevant. That we won’t matter.

I have felt these feelings, too.

Yet, I’ve managed to slow down and take a break anyway. And what I noticed is that everything didn’t fall apart.

So if the reason you’re pushing, saying yes to too many things, and not taking a break even though you desperately need one is because you’re afraid of disappearing, I have a three things to remind you of, dear one.

What if everyone forgets about me?

First, I shared with KC that in order to melt the fear of being forgotten or becoming irrelevant if we were to take our foot off the gas pedal, we have to ask ourselves the following:

What if all of the social media followers disappeared?

What if I didn’t have the awards or accolades?

What if there were no more speaking gigs, book deals, or media interviews?

What if my diploma or certifications dematerialized?

Who am I underneath all of it?

And do I like this person?

If the answer is yes, you do like the person underneath all the stuff, then it becomes infinitely easier to let go of being in action all the time. Because you’re not so attached to what the doing promises to get you. So you can let go and just be you.

If the answer is no, well then that’s something else. The thing is no number of social media followers, awards, invitations, opportunities, deals, or gigs will make you like who you are underneath it all anyway.

So either way, it turns out the achievements aren’t the carrot we need to be chasing anyway. They’re fun, don’t get me wrong, but more like in the way a bracelet adds to an outfit. It looks really beautiful and adds some pizazz, but you’re still dressed without it.

And really, let’s stop chasing anything (more on that next week when I tell you about ‘egg wisdom’. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss that one because it will change the way you operate on a daily basis.)

What if this is my only shot?

In order to share the second thing, I’ll share some wisdom from another dear friend, Danielle LaPorte, author of the brand new, beautiful book White Hot Truth.

D and I were riffing on motherhood and entrepreneurship during my Myth of Balance event and she shared with me that she doesn’t say yes to opportunities unless they allow her to be home at 3pm to make her kid a snack.

“Yeah, but what about the too good to be true, really shiny opportunities? Do you ever feel torn and want to say yes even though it might jeopardize your boundaries around being the kind of mom you want to be?” I asked her.

“There will always be another bus,” she replied.

Yes. The sweetness of trusting that there’s more where that came from. We could all be reminded of this 100 times a day and it still wouldn’t be enough.

And third, I shall share a quote that I remind myself of regularly that was shared with me by a third dear friend, Sandra Chiu, founder of Treatment by Lanshin.

What is for you cannot pass by you. 

I do not know who to attribute this quote to and I came up short when I Googled. (If you know, feel free to tell me in the comments so I can give credit!)

It’s a daily dance, this dance of trust. Some days I feel like the freaking Buddha with how deeply I know that everything is working out in Divine Timing and that it would be impossible for me to screw it up. Some days, not so much.

On those days when you feel like you can’t stop running because you’re afraid that everything will fall apart, remember:

Loosen your grip. Take a deep breath. Let yourself slow down, or perhaps even stop.

You can’t miss what’s yours. Everything is going to be ok.

 

OVER TO YOU:

When was a time when you allowed yourself to slow down or stop and everything went great? Tell me about it in the comments. I love real-life examples!

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  • Valerie Lawe says:

    I’ve heard one of my teachers (Tosha Silver) say, “What was meant for you will never miss you, and what misses you was never meant for you.”

    I am stuck in a cycle of 11-12 hr days of work these days. This is making me want to change that, just feel like I’m too hustle-bustle all the time!

  • Kate says:

    Hi Kate,
    Love your candor and courage to be so open about your journey,generously giving others advice and opportunities to grow.

    I have had to slow down and let go of control a few times and I’m still here healthy and happy. It’s true! – the universe does provide!

    I used to be the CEO, the Cheif EVERYTHING Officer, practically doing everything. I couldn’t have worked harder, or longer. The business – a media company dedicated to pre and post natal health and wellness, was doing great! We were profitable doing several million dollars in sponsorship sales every year. It was time to expand so we took our eyes off sales for a year and prepared for our first round of investment. Sales still happened so we were fine. But then something happened we couldn’t have predicted. On the night of our investor evening, the biggest financial crash of our lifetime happened! Yes 2008. The market was a disaster.
    At first we acted like nothing happened and we just continued as usual. But investors were frozen, marketing budgets slashed, consumer fear and trust was at an all time low and our business started to suffer, badly.
    The outcome was that were were forced to sell it at a much lower price than it was worth. Devastating, after we’d spent 24/7 for 5 years without vacations and not missing a beat!

    Actually, that was just a thought in my mind. It wasn’t devastating it was life changing – for the better! You see I’d been a slave to the business and hadn’t realized it. I’d not only missed vacations; I’d missed life!

    During that time the stress was at an all time high and if I hadn’t been doing yoga, meditation and reading spiritual books every night before falling asleep I don’t know what I would have done. I was physically exhausted and looked like I aged a decade!
    Slowing down and being really present helped to be able to enjoy the lock up year where I had to work for the company that acquired my business where now, others had to make the critical decisions and stay late at night and they were employees not business owners! I took a vacation, I enjoyed my friends and family and I used my mind for other creative things other than worrying about the business and reading every newsletter I could sign up for in my industry!
    I turned my knowledge into an asset and started consulting others in their business. I realized although I don’t have an MBA on paper, I have one in practice, running a company with 30 employees and ICs, having dozens of Fortune 500 clients, winning 33 awards, going through due diligence with a Fortune 100 company, you don’t get that experience in college!

    It’s been a few years since then and I am still doing yoga and meditation; I still read spiritual books and I’ve helped many other entrepreneurs launch their businesses and raised millions for them in early sales.

    When you slow down, you can think; instead of being on auto pilot. You can notice things and you have tie to try new things. In fact, you engage your creativity in problem solving, and you can enjoy those moments with your kids and family that will never return.

    Happiness doesn’t come from being successful in business. It comes from knowing yourself and spending time being fully present in the moment.

    Cheers

    Love and light

  • Lauren says:

    Your timing was impeccable. Just wanted to send a sincere thank you for your words and honesty. I recently put my organizing/feng shui business on hold to study towards my real estate license and quite a bit just stopped in terms of press, clients etc but I know I’ll come back stronger because of the plans I have intentionally made. Thanks again, much love and light

  • Aimee says:

    Kate,

    Thanks again for this beautiful, succinct, and pertinent knowledge. It has been divine timing in coming across your wisdom and joining Origin.

    I am just now taking a month and a half off from my current employment, and it is such a big excercise in this exact concept of trust and expansion in so many ways.

    Sometimes placing a boundary and taking down time is really the biggest way to nurture ourselves and make our new opportunites appear, or allow us a different and refreshed perspective. I also believe that in doing such, we are an example of our trust in the divine and ourselves.

    Cheers to the “fertile void” and learning that being present and doing less is often times in many ways being more!

    • Kate Northrup says:

      It’s so true about downtime making space for new opportunities – great perspective and congrats on your break! And welcome to Origin!

  • Sylver Silph says:

    Omg Kate, ugh a million times thank you. Last night I posted a 9 minute video on Origin, talking about my industry my goals, the accomplishments I’ve made since doing the classes, and then I topped the icing on the cake saying I hope you’ll feature me to be an empress of the month, and then Lisa asked me to write down some of the info to have on hand.

    I started thinking, omg what if she does feature me and all these women see me and start listening to my story and blah blah? Cue: imposter syndrome, 2 bars of dark chocolate, a bag of chips, and still haven’t had my morning tea.

    This post is everything I needed right now. Taking some deep breaths, turning off Facebook for a while and doing the self care that is waiting for me in my Google Calendar.

    <3

  • Lisa says:

    Thank you Kate xo
    I needed this. May has been so busy for me and my life will not be slowing down until August. This is when I need to let go of the inessential stuff so I breath

  • Wow!!! This came up to me in the perfect time.
    Right now I have been working on the Executive Gold rank advancement, and it has been so hard and challenging to me.
    This post remembered me that I am not the title, I am not the rank, and if it is to me cannot pass by me.
    Thank you so much Kate! You are unique.
    Blessings!

  • Jennifer says:

    Once again you nailed it, Little Sister!
    This very today I caught myself in my relevance questioning.

    When my mother asked, (again) “yes, but what do you DO?”

    Thank you so much for the reminder, and for being you.

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