I was having a chat with my dear friend KC Baker about the innate fear so many of us have that if we slow down in our businesses or take a break that everything will fall apart. That everyone will forget about us. That we’ll miss all of the opportunities. That we’ll become irrelevant. That we won’t matter.
I have felt these feelings, too.
Yet, I’ve managed to slow down and take a break anyway. And what I noticed is that everything didn’t fall apart.
So if the reason you’re pushing, saying yes to too many things, and not taking a break even though you desperately need one is because you’re afraid of disappearing, I have a three things to remind you of, dear one.
What if everyone forgets about me?
First, I shared with KC that in order to melt the fear of being forgotten or becoming irrelevant if we were to take our foot off the gas pedal, we have to ask ourselves the following:
What if all of the social media followers disappeared?
What if I didn’t have the awards or accolades?
What if there were no more speaking gigs, book deals, or media interviews?
What if my diploma or certifications dematerialized?
Who am I underneath all of it?
And do I like this person?
If the answer is yes, you do like the person underneath all the stuff, then it becomes infinitely easier to let go of being in action all the time. Because you’re not so attached to what the doing promises to get you. So you can let go and just be you.
If the answer is no, well then that’s something else. The thing is no number of social media followers, awards, invitations, opportunities, deals, or gigs will make you like who you are underneath it all anyway.
So either way, it turns out the achievements aren’t the carrot we need to be chasing anyway. They’re fun, don’t get me wrong, but more like in the way a bracelet adds to an outfit. It looks really beautiful and adds some pizazz, but you’re still dressed without it.
And really, let’s stop chasing anything (more on that next week when I tell you about ‘egg wisdom’. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss that one because it will change the way you operate on a daily basis.)
What if this is my only shot?
In order to share the second thing, I’ll share some wisdom from another dear friend, Danielle LaPorte, author of the brand new, beautiful book White Hot Truth.
D and I were riffing on motherhood and entrepreneurship during my Myth of Balance event and she shared with me that she doesn’t say yes to opportunities unless they allow her to be home at 3pm to make her kid a snack.
“Yeah, but what about the too good to be true, really shiny opportunities? Do you ever feel torn and want to say yes even though it might jeopardize your boundaries around being the kind of mom you want to be?” I asked her.
“There will always be another bus,” she replied.
Yes. The sweetness of trusting that there’s more where that came from. We could all be reminded of this 100 times a day and it still wouldn’t be enough.
And third, I shall share a quote that I remind myself of regularly that was shared with me by a third dear friend, Sandra Chiu, founder of Treatment by Lanshin.
I do not know who to attribute this quote to and I came up short when I Googled. (If you know, feel free to tell me in the comments so I can give credit!)
It’s a daily dance, this dance of trust. Some days I feel like the freaking Buddha with how deeply I know that everything is working out in Divine Timing and that it would be impossible for me to screw it up. Some days, not so much.
On those days when you feel like you can’t stop running because you’re afraid that everything will fall apart, remember:
Loosen your grip. Take a deep breath. Let yourself slow down, or perhaps even stop.
You can’t miss what’s yours. Everything is going to be ok.
When was a time when you allowed yourself to slow down or stop and everything went great? Tell me about it in the comments. I love real-life examples!