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Tuckered out in Glacier National Park

I have a really big appetite for food, but even more so for life.

A day where I’m scheduled within minutes of my life is my idea of heaven. When I headed out on The Freedom Tour on February 2^nd this year, my eyes were wide, the road was open and the sky was big. My tummy was grumbling for some adventure and moderation simply wouldn’t do.

The Metrics of The Freedom Tour

Between February 2^nd and June 21^st I traveled 19,000 miles by car and another 11,000 miles by plane (plus 300 by boat.)  I visited 21 different states and provinces, slept in over 50 beds, taught 16 workshops, spoke to over 800 people, and attended 5 major conferences (SXSW, Summit Series, Reveal, Selling Your Soul, I Can Do It!, and the World Domination Summit.) I did this all while launching a new business partnership, ending another one, then ending the one I had just started, experimenting with being homeless, and falling in love.

After five months of going at this pace I felt full. The kind of full that makes you want to put on pants with an elastic waist band and talk about how you’re never going to eat again.

I landed in Maine at my childhood home in June feeling exhausted. I thought the summer would birth great creativity and production in the form of pages and pages of brilliant writing. I thought by this time I would have a sample chapter and outline for my first book.

But it turns out that when your eyes are bigger than your schedule, when your MO is to say yes to everything, and when you run your self more than a little ragged, what you need is sleep. And watching movies. And eating lunches that take three hours to finish And looking out at the ocean. And more sleep.

Promises, Promises, Promises

I sat with my dad over lunch the other day chatting about my blog. He’s one of my most dedicated readers, which simultaneously thrills and terrifies me. He told me that I need to be careful about what I promise to my readers because they (he) get disappointed when I don’t follow through on my promises.

Here are a few things I’ve promised over the past couple of months that I haven’t followed through on:

• Shooting daily videos (what was I thinking when I announced I was going to start doing that?!)
• A post of my pictures from the stunning drive up the Pacific Coast Highway from Laguna Beach, CA to Vancouver, BC (which was supposed to be for my dad)
• This post on “the most important question to ask yourself before embarking on any project” that I promised several weeks ago in this video (This one only half counts as not following through because I’m finally writing it. It’s just late.)
• Submitting a sample chapter and an outline of the book I’m currently gestating by the beginning of July (This one is still in process, just taking longer than I thought.)

I also have over 700 unread/unanswered emails in my inbox, some unreturned voicemails, and a few missed opportunities as a result.

Granted, I think my dad takes my promises on my blog more to heart than some of my other readers, but he brings up a really important point.

What are you promising that you’re not delivering on?

Our conversation made me pause. It made me feel sheepish. And it made me realize the single most important question to ask before embarking on any new project:

Is this sustainable?

When you’re birthing anything new there will be a period of time when you sometimes don’t shower until 6pm (if at all) and you eat takeout and don’t respond to emails. I get that AND I’m not making myself wrong for the way I’ve done The Freedom Tour up until this point.

In fact, one of my new favorite mantras is: “I am enough and I’m doing it right.”

Let that baby sink into your cells for a moment.

However, the way I started this whole adventure was completely unsustainable. I said yes to more than I could follow through on. I promised things I didn’t end up doing. I found myself way overextended. I got sick. I disappointed a few people (and thrilled some others.)

I’ve spent the past 6 weeks in Maine adoring life, adoring being in the house I was brought home to the day I was born, adoring being grounded, adoring not moving, and adoring a break.

It’s been goooooooood. It’s been beyond necessary.

The Freedom Tour 2.0

My man and I are packing up the Prius on Friday morning and heading out on the road again. We head West and will be in Scottsdale, AZ for September and October by way of Columbus, OH and Salt Lake City, UT.

The Freedom Tour continues but it is now The Freedom Tour 2.0. I now have a filtering question to ask myself when presented with any new opportunity so that I’m no longer giving a knee-jerk “yes!” I’m building in vacations. I’m being strategic about my workshops and speaking gigs. I’m standing for eight hours of sleep, no more than six hours a day in the car, meditation, and greens.

Whatever you’re cooking up right now, ask yourself: Is this sustainable?

If your answer is “no” but you’ve got an end point in mind, rock on. If there’s no end point, get one on the calendar. You can only go at full capacity for so long.

Creativity and production of great work is not a steady stream. It comes in fits and starts. Sometimes its fueled by an all-nighter. Sometimes it’s fueled by a double feature. Let your art flow the way it wants to flow. Just be sure to factor your promises, your health, your sanity, and your soul into the equation.

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The Freedom Tour is hitting the road again!

Come see me on Sunday, August 14^th!

Women & Wealth: The Truth About Money That No One Has Ever Told You

6:00 – 7:30pm

The Reiki Center, 1540 W. 5th Avenue
Columbus, Ohio 43212

This event is free, but we have limited space. Please email rsvp@teamorthrup.com to reserve your seat.

I’m super jazzed to be attending an event lead by two of my favorite women of all time (who I brag I had a little bit to do with connecting), Marie Forleo and Danielle LaPorte.

Come hang with me in NYC.

It’s called Selling Your Soul and it’s on May 12th in downtown New York City and it’s all about doing business from a place of being your no apologies, freak-flag-flying, most authentic self. These women have huge ovaries and are inspiring beyond belief. I’m so excited I can barely stand it.

One of my most favorite urgings that I’ve heard from Danielle before is to create a “stop-doing” list. I’ve avoided this exercise because I’m afraid to put things in writing that I know that I shouldn’t do anymore. There are certain things on the list below that for whatever reason I hold onto with a death grip even though I know they’re not a good use of my time or energy and no longer serve me.

The super-nova shivers.

Perhaps not wanting to put this out there is a fear of really being BIG. Like if I truly stop doing the things below that are thwarting me at every turn, I’ll super-nova to a level of success and joy that I won’t even know how to handle. Well, hell. I’ve never let fear hold me back for very long before, so I’m putting it out here now!

So, without further ado, here’s my “stop-doing” list. Read it. Let it inspire you. Then share yours below (or link to your blog on the comments below) and lets start a “stop-doing” revolution!

My “Stop-Doing” List

1.    Detail oriented tasks. I’m a big picture person and I don’t think in details.

2.     Feeling bad about sleeping until I’m ready to get out of bed.

3.    Not telling the truth. There’s a difference between lying and not telling the truth. I’m a terrible liar but I’m a genius at not telling the truth. This is a tendency I’ve been unraveling over the past year and it definitely belongs on the “stop-doing” list.

4.    Saying “yes” to things simply because I want people to like me or because I feel bad.

5.     Scheduling myself within an inch of my life so that I don’t even realize that an entire day has passed and I wake up in the morning feeling like I’m in the movie Groundhog Day.

6.    Feeling guilty about doing things that are pure pleasure and that I am doing simply for fun and not because they bring in revenue or get me closer to a big goal.

7.    Finding myself wrong. Period.

8.     Embarking on business ventures, partnerships, or affiliate agreements with anyone or anything that doesn’t feel like a “Hell yes!” when the opportunity comes across my plate.

9.    Disapproving of other people in my life when I’m really projecting on them something I need to look at more closely in my own life.

10.     Prioritizing my work before exercise and healthy food.

11.    Beating myself up for not replying to every single email that comes into my inbox personally (or at all).

12.    Comparing myself to anyone else in my life or in my industry and thinking that because I’m not them and what I’m doing doesn’t look like what they’re doing that I’m doing it wrong.

13.    Living my life according to what “looks good”, what I think I’m supposed to be doing, or what I think my mother, father, or anyone else thinks I should be doing.

Aaaah, that felt cathartic. I can’t WAIT to read your “stop-doing” list because I’m sure it will inspire me to stop doing more things that will open up space for more fun, pleasure, love, money, and goodness than I ever imagined possible.

Find out about Selling Your Soul by clicking below:

If you want more Marie for free, here’s a fabulous video about how women she works with make it BIG online in all different industries. If you are a woman and have a business, this is a MUST watch.

Sara Avant‘s power belies her elegance. A delicate, poised former dancer, Sara’s posture is enviable. And it’s that very same strong backbone that’s held her alignment, physical, emotional, and spiritual through a personal journey that began with a health crisis in her early twenties.

A former type A dancer, born and raised in Connecticut, then polished in the Ivy League, a scary diagnosis led Sara to leave the country for Thailand in her early twenties where she studied yoga, taught English, steeped herself in Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda, and Reiki, and learned to slow down and be in her body.

Sara’s first book, The Way of the Happy Woman: Living the Best Year of Your Life, will be out May 1st. Pre-order your copy now. I’m very proud to have written the preface and to be part of this beautiful piece of work that’s truly a road map for women to come home to themselves.

Sara and I got together in Boulder so we could share everything that’s cooking in Sara’s world. Tune in to to this episode of Glimpse TV find out the magical way we connected and why she’s sort of obsessed with the pelvis.

Enjoy!

Pelvis Power: Glimpse TV with Sara Avant from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

Here’s how to get more Sara:

*Get the “The Women’s Circle Start Up Kit” and learn how to start and run your very own powerful, profitable women’s circles to change lives and create vibrant communities

*Pre-order The Way of the Happy Woman

*Join Sara on her book tour (save the date for a Way of the Happy Woman/Freedom Tour combo event with Sara and me August 5th in Boulder, CO!)

*Check out her upcoming retreat schedule (Thailand and Southern France…yummm!)

*Connect with Sara on Facebook and Twitter

Pelvis Power: Glimpse TV with Sara Avant from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

How do you nurture yourself and balance the masculine and feminine?

Have you ever had a health crisis that led to something truly beautiful in your life like Sara did?

Share your thoughts. We’d love to hear from you!

Chris Guillebeau on Glimpse TV from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

I was in Maine. It was a beautiful September day and I was shopping in downtown Portland. I had recently made the decision to leave NYC and move to my home state. I was in Maine sniffing out real estate and telling my nearest and dearest the big news.

Read the rest of this entry »

Stress is not a badge of courage and other wisdom from Crazy Sexy Diet: Kris Carr on Glimpse TV from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

Kris Carr is vibrancy embodied. She and I haven’t ever really hung out before, but the minute she walked into my apartment last Thursday to film Glimpse TV I felt an instant kinship. Her story is one of mega transformation, inspiring redemption, thinking outside the box, and pushing the envelope. In short, she’s a woman after my own heart BIG TIME.

Read the rest of this entry »

Michelle and I at Hay House I Can Do It Event

I met the gorgeous and inspiring Michelle Phillips at the Hay House Movers & Shakers workshop in Boston in April of 2010. After one lunch we both felt like we had known each other for years. Michelle and I have since become buds and she’s also joined Team Northrup because her message is about inner beauty. Michelle has been a celebrity makeup artist for years and learned a lot about how women think and feel about themselves…and how sad a state many of them are in…during those years. She won the Movers & Shakers video contest and is launching her Hay House Radio show on Monday, January 17th at 12pm EST, The Beauty Blueprint! I’m so honored to be one of her first guest on the show on Monday so tune in to hear some pretty inspiring stories of women living life on their own terms and going after their dreams. Michelle’s book, The Beauty Blueprint, will also be out with Hay House in 2011.

On my recent trip to Tampa I got some time to hang out with Michelle and her family. We took some time to talk about Michelle’s amazing transformation from a history of losing herself in abuse and being on food stamps to feed her kids to her incredible life today as an author, coach, inspirational speaker, tv and radio personality, and glowing mother and wife. Michelle is quite a lady. Enjoy the episode!

From food stamps to magic wands: Glimpse TV with Michelle Phillips from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

When in your life have you felt like you lost yourself? What did you do about it?
How do you cultivate your inner beauty?
Michelle and I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment!

One freezing day late in December I got together with my friend Gabby Bernstein to chat about all the big things coming up for both of us in 2011. I’m heading out on The Freedom Tour in February and Gabby is coming out with her second book, Spirit Junkie, in September. The Freedom Tour and the Spirit Junkie tour will be coming together for some serious, knock your socks off, shine your mind/body/spirit and soul action. Stay tuned for tour dates and locations at www.comebefree.com and www.gabbyb.tv. Tune in to find out why we think right now is such an important time for women seekers, how you can feel more connected to kindred spirits right from your own living room, and how to choose collaboration over competition. Enjoy!

Wanna go on tour with us? Glimpse TV with Gabrielle Bernstein from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

Also, come to Gabby’s upcoming lecture, Miracle Magnet, with me next Wednesday, January 19th!

MIRACLE MAGNET

Lecture with Gabrielle Bernstein

Turn your deepest desires into reality and become a magnet for miracles. Join Gabrielle Bernstein January 19, 2011 for her MIRACLE MAGNET lecture. Gabrielle will guide you through her trusted process of activating your internal attracting power.

Date: 1/19/11

Time: 7 to 9 p.m. EST

Location: 208 W. 13th st. (Between 7th and Greenwich), 3rd floor

Order tickets and more details: www.gabbyb.tv/speaking

What do you have cooking this year that you’re excited about? Leave a comment below and tell us about it!

It was a beautiful May evening. I was delightedly surprised to see another woman my age at my building’s semi-annual rooftop garden party. (My across-the-hall neighbor has lived in the building for twenty-five years and my neighbor down the hall has had family in the building since 1945. Needless to say, they don’t generally cater to my demographic.) I gravitated toward the adorable young woman who introduced herself as Nell. Her Midwestern charm, elegant good looks, and self-deprecating humor wooed me immediately. After a longer one-on-one rooftop chat later in the summer I learned that this Green Bay, WI native is a reporter covering all things cultural, from fashion to music to food. She’s just become a top ten finalist in the Sunglass Hut’s Full Time Fabulous contest where they’re giving one lucky winner a job as a fashion blogger, an apartment in the W Hotel downtown for a year, and basically the life that every young woman who moves to New York City dreams of. (Find out more at Nell’s Full Time Fabulous blog. “Like” the posts, retweet, and give them a 5-star rating as these all contribute to Nell’s contest ranking and I really want her to win!) This morning I headed up to the eighteenth floor to interview Nell about Full Time Fabulous, the locations and content of her two surprisingly profound tattoos, the two things you need to master in order to make your dreams come true, and how to hustle with class and elegance. Enjoy our episode of Glimpse TV!

The two things you need to master to make your dreams come true: Glimpse TV with my neighbor Nell Alk from Kate Moller on Vimeo.

A little over a year ago I met Danielle LaPorte of www.whitehottruth.com and she lit an apparently very flammable creative spark within me that has been burning brightly ever since. My work with Danielle in a group Fire Starter Session, as well as two one-on-one sessions, was the catalyst for what has been the most personally and professionally transformational year of my life.

Having just been hosted by Danielle in her home town of Vancouver, I’m particularly psyched to be hosting her here in New York City this week!

Tweet Up with Danielle LaPorte (co-hosted by Bindu Wiles and yours truly)

Wednesday, November 10th

8pm – ?

Brass Monkey

55 Little W 12th St.

New York, NY

The world is invited to laugh, drink, and jam. No mic, no agenda. Just pure fun and inspiration mixed with amazing people. (If you’ve never been to a Tweet Up before, its just a bunch of cool people hanging out. You’ll like it. I promise.)

Danielle will be sharing her brilliance and giving what I think is going to be her most rockin’ talk ever at Marie Forleo’s Rich, Happy, and Hot LIVE this weekend, November 12 – 14th, at Donna Karan’s Urban Zen Foundation in downtown NYC. I think there might still be a few seats left for what is going to be a legendary event and you can click below to make sure you get your butt in one of them:

If you’re not in NYC but you want a taste of Danielle’s particularly genius brand of lighting entrepreneurial fires, read on…

Here’s what I wrote about my Fire Starter Session with Danielle:

“The meat and sheer richness of content I got from our session, not to mention the inspiration and all around feel-goodness is priceless. Plus the session is going to make me waaaay more than what I spent on it. Thank you ever so kindly.” -Kate Northrup, Team Northrup, NYC

You can get your own copy of Danielle’s book, the Fire Starter Sessions, a digital experience for entrepreneurs by clicking below:

See you tomorrow!

xo

Kate

*I'm a very proud affiliate of both Danielle LaPorte and Marie Forleo.*

Letting go is scary.

The thing about letting go is that it’s scary. Even if we’re not completely thrilled with what we’ve got already, at least we know what we can expect with it. Even if holding on means living a bit smaller than we know we’re capable of, not being quite as happy as we suspect might be possible, or feeling ever so much more mediocre than we’d hoped, at least we already know what it feels like. And there’s a seductive, if false, sense of safety and control that comes from knowing what to expect if we stay just exactly where we are.

There’s nothing familiar about letting go, on the other hand. There’s a vastness and there are grey areas and at least a bazillion unknowns. Letting go is choosing d), none of the above, while not having the foggiest idea as to what that might look like.

Going home.

In August I decided I was going to move back home to Maine. I started telling my friends and family. I started making plans. I met with a real estate broker. I researched the rental market. I found a yoga studio in Portland that I really liked. I had practically sent a “Save the Date” for my housewarming party. It felt warm. It felt cozy. It felt safe. It felt depressing.

Uh oh. I thank God for my unwavering trust in the wisdom of my emotions. Within twenty-four hours of my realization that my decision to move “home” was making me feel contracted and depressed, I hatched a new plan.

Untethering.

Inspired by a serendipitous overlap with Chris Guillebeau, author of The Art of Non-Conformity (a highly recommended read), in Portland, Maine, and a dinner with Danielle Vieth, my friend who’s living a largely untethered life quite successfully, I decided to let go.

I’m letting go of agreements, conscious and unconscious, that don’t make sense anymore. I’m letting go of a physical home and living anywhere in particular. I’m letting go of the plan I’ve always had to move back to Maine and have babies. I’m letting go of my lifelong obsession with always having a plan. I’m letting go of most of my physical stuff and as much of my emotional stuff as is possible in this moment, too.

(Please note that the choice to write letting go in the present tense is intentional. It’s a process, not an event. Some days my knuckles are white and I don’t appear to be letting go at all. Some days I’m cutting more cords than an obstetrician doing a double shift.)

One must only be willing.

I’m finding myself on a letting-go roll. Once I was willing to let go of the big stuff (my apartment, living my life according to others’ desires or expectations, and not seeing my own worth, just to name a few) I started to feel really free. My willingness to walk away from what no longer serves me (everything from being a New Yorker to outmoded ways of seeing myself) has uncovered a sense of unlimited possibilities bubbling up. At times I feel practically carbonated with sheer potential.

(I use willingness intentionally here, too. In Barbara Stanny’s Overcoming Underearning she notes that one of the major steps to achieving financial success is being willing to let go of your “ledge.” For some, the ledge is a job. For some, it’s a marriage. For some, it’s a business partner. For me, it’s my apartment and the expired agreements that are attached to it. Stanny points out that sometimes it never becomes necessary to truly let go of that ledge, but it’s our willingness to do so that puts into motion the changes necessary to be free.)

The freedom of letting go.

As I begin to peel my fingers off my ledge I feel like I’m being granted permission to be more myself. I’ve had more business ideas, more creative impulses, and more inspirations in the past several weeks since I began this process of letting go than I’ve ever remembered having. Am I waking up from time to time totally terrified and convinced that I’m crazy to consciously choose to be homeless and drive around the country indefinitely? I sure am. But I’m chalking it up to an Upper Limit Problem and moving on.

I feel lighter. I feel energized. I feel hopeful. And I feel free. I always thought I felt free before but I hadn’t realized the degree to which my compass was set to a True North dictated by what I was holding on to and unconsciously allowing to define my life. And my willingness to let go of those things and reset my True North to the magnetism of my own dreams and desires seems to have set me free on a far deeper level. Ms. Joplin was on to something when she sang, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.” When you’re willing to let it all go you find out what’s underneath all of that stuff. When you’ve stripped off enough layers and are truly willing to lose it, then you get to feel free (and go hang out with Bobby McGee).

Your turn.

So, whaddya think? Are you ready to let go with me?

If you answered yes, here’s a quick exercise to get you started. Get a pen and paper and actually do the exercise. Don’t just think about your answers. Just trust me, it works much better when you write it down:

• Write down something big you’ve been holding on to because it feels safe or comfortable but that, deep down, you know has you shackled.  (I can almost guarantee that the first thing that popped into your head is it. Even if it scares you, write it down. You don’t have to let it go right now. Just write it down.)

• What do you get from holding on to this thing? Write it down.

• What would you feel like if you let go of this thing? What would it allow you to do that you don’t feel like you’re able to do now? Write it down.

• Are you willing to let go of it? Write yes or no. (No is a perfectly fine answer. Sometimes it’s just not time yet.)

• If you answered yes to the last question, what is one specific action step you can take right now or very soon towards letting go of this thing? (For example, you could write it down and burn the piece of paper as a ritual, you could write a resignation letter, you could put your house on the market, you could have a conversation you’ve been meaning to have for a while, etc.

• Do the action step immediately, or if that’s not possible, schedule it in your calendar for sometime in the next week.

I can’t guarantee you’ll feel free right away. Instead you might feel nauseous or as though there’s no floor under your feet. That’s okay. Hang out in the void for a while. Cry or write or dance or scream. Or cry while you’re writing and dancing and screaming. Just stay willing to let go. And when the angst and groundlessness passes, enjoy the hell out of the freedom that’s just on the other side.

FREE Teleseminar on letting go.

Want more? Join my mom, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Team Northrup, and I for a free teleseminar on The Freedom of Letting Go on Tuesday, November 16^th from 8:00 – 8:30pm EST. Rsvp@teamnorthrup.com to reserve your spot and for call-in details. (If you’re a Team Northrup member there’s no need to RSVP.)

Leave your stories, insights, answers to the bulleted questions, and results from your action steps below. Tell me what you think. I’m interested. Seriously.