You can’t control the things most worth having.


There are things you can control: what you put in your mouth, which radio station you listen to, and what you say, to name a few.

If you’d asked me if we could control our lives a few years ago I would have said an unequivocal yes. And I would have thought you were wrong if you’d said no.

Then I had a baby.

I no longer control when I wake up, how long I sleep, if I shower, how tidy my home is, when I leave the house, or what I do during the day.

Going through labor and birth gave me the first clue (or the first smack upside the head with an anvil) that I was no longer in control.

As the weeks with a newborn turned into months with an infant, and the sleepless nights and days marked by lack of personal hygiene got strung together, I realized it’s not just giving birth and parenting that you can’t control.

As it turns out, none of us have control over the things that matter most.

Try dictating when you’re going to fall in love, get the idea for your next brilliant piece of work, meet your soul sister, or need to drop everything to stand by the bedside of someone you love.

We don’t get to choose when, how, or where the most meaningful things in our lives happen.

But they do happen. To everyone.

Yes, we can make them more welcome through manifesting, meditation, visioning, and other kinds of keeping our vibes high.

But we can’t call up and say, “One handsome husband, please!” like we can call up and order a double cheese pizza. (Vegan and dairy-free, of course.)

The things that matter most are simply bigger than that. They’re bigger than us.

We can’t control when or how the things worth having most will show up, but sitting around waiting for things to happen to us isn’t an awesome use of our time. So what are we to do?

We surrender.
We say the serenity prayer as many times a day as it takes:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

We go ahead and courageously wield control over the things we can control.

And we courageously let go of the things we can’t – every single moment of every single day.

We choose our perspective. We choose to breathe.

And we bask in awe of the fact that this magnificent, wild thing called life is happening, and while we’re part of it we’re not controlling it, at least not the parts that matter most.

And that’s the most wondrous part.

Because how much fun would it be if we were running the whole show and always knew what was going to happen, when, and how?

It would take the miracle right out of it, I think.

May we all keep doing the things we can to steer our ships while surrendering to the fact that the wind and the weather really aren’t up to us. {Tweet It!}


May we revel in the miracle that the things that matter most are bigger than any of us. 

And may this truth bring serenity because being in control of everything sounds pretty exhausting anyway.



How do you surrender to the things you can’t control in life? I’d love to hear your wisdom in the comments!


P.S. Have you seen my new poster yet? It’s a beautifully designed print of my most popular blog post ever, It’s Not Going To Turn Out The Way You Thought It Would. Our 11% discount is still available until May 7th. Simply enter this discount code when you purchase: BETTER   Get your copy here!



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Kate Northrup explains how she plays big when she feels small. Check more out here:

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Becoming Your Own Economy.


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21 Days to Change Your Financial Life with the #MoneyLoveChallenge


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